>>DIVINE
MERCY
APOSTOLATE .... Diary
Divine
Mercy in my Soul PDF File
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary
Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II: 701 750 )
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Notebook 2 |
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701 |
On
this particular day, when I was feeling so bad and still went to work, every
now and then I would feel sick. It was so very hot that, even without
working, a person felt terrible, not to mention what it was like when one had
to work while suffering. So, before noon, I straightened up from my work,
looked up to the sky with great trust and said to the Lord, "Jesus,
cover the sun, for I cannot stand this heat any longer." And, O wonder, at that very moment a white cloud covered the
sun and, from then on, the heat became less intense. When a little while
later I began to reproach myself that I did not bear the heat, but begged for
relief, Jesus himself put me at ease. |
|
702 |
August
13, 1936. Tonight God's presence is pervading me, and in an instant I come to
know the great holiness of God. Oh, how the greatness of God overwhelms me! I
then come to know the whole depth of my nothingness. This is a great torment,
for this knowledge is followed by love. The soul bounds forward vehemently
toward God, and the two loves come face to face: the Creator and the
creature; one little drop seeks to measure itself with the ocean. At first,
the little drop wants to enclose the infinite ocean within itself; but at the
same moment, it knows itself to be just one small drop, and thus it is
vanquished, and it passes completely into God like a drop into the ocean. At
first, this moment is a torment, but so sweet that, on experiencing it, the
soul is happy. |
|
703 |
At
present, the topic of my particular examen is my
union with the Merciful Christ. This practice gives me unusual strength; my
heart is always united with the One it desires, and its actions are regulated
by mercy, which flows from love. |
|
704 |
I
spend every free moment at the feet of the hidden God. He is my Master; I ask
Him about everything; I speak to Him about everything. Here I obtain strength
and light; here I learn everything; here I am given light on how to act
toward my neighbor. From the time I left the novitiate, I have enclosed
myself in the tabernacle together with Jesus, my Master. He himself drew me
into the fire of living love on which everything converges. |
|
705 |
September
25. I suffer great pain in my hands, feet and side, the places where Jesus'
body was pierced. I experience these pains particularly when I meet with a
soul who is not in the state of grace. Then I pray fervently that the mercy
of God will embrace that soul. |
|
706 |
[September] 29. On the
Feast of Saint Michael the Archangel, I saw by my side that great Leader, who
spoke these words to me: "The Lord has ordered me to take special care
of you. Know that you are hated by evil; but do not fear-'Who is like
God!"' And he disappeared. But I feel his presence and assistance. <p |
|
707 |
October
2, 1936. The First Friday of the month. After Holy Communion, I suddenly saw
the Lord Jesus, who spoke these words to me: Now I know that it is not for the graces or gifts that you
love me, but because My will is dearer to you than life. That is why I am uniting
myself with you so intimately as with no other
creature. |
|
708 |
At
that moment, Jesus disappeared. My soul was filled with the presence of God.
I know that the gaze of the Mighty One rests upon me. I plunged myself
completely in the joy that flows from God. I continued throughout the whole
day without interruption, thus immersed in God. In the evening, I fell as if
into a faint and a strange sort of agony. My love wants to equal the love of
the Mighty One. It is drawn to Him so vehemently that it is impossible,
without some special grace from God, to bear the vastness of such a grace in
this life. But I see clearly that Jesus himself is sustaining me and
strengthening me and making me capable of communing with Him. In all this,
the soul is particularly active. |
|
709 |
October
3, 1936. During the rosary today, I suddenly saw a ciborium with the Blessed
Sacrament. The ciborium was uncovered and quite filled with hosts. From the
ciborium came a voice: These
hosts have been received by souls converted through your prayer and
suffering. At this point, I
felt God's presence as a child would; I felt strangely like a child. |
|
710 |
When
one day I felt I would be unable to carry on till nine and asked S.N. [140] for something to eat, because I was
going to bed earlier as I was not feeling well, S.N. answered, "But you are
not ill, Sister; they only wanted you to have some rest, so they made up the
illness." O my Jesus, my illness is so far advanced [141] that the doctor has separated me from
the sisters to prevent them from becoming infected, and yet one is judged in
this way. But that's good; all this is for You, my Jesus. I do not want to
write much about external matters, for they are not the reason for my
writing; I want in particular to note the graces granted me by the Lord,
because these are not only for me, but for many other souls as well. |
|
711 |
October
5, [1936]. Today I received a letter from Father Sopocko. I learned that he
intends to publish a holy card of the Merciful Christ. He asked me to send
him a certain prayer [142] which he wants to put on the back, if he
receives the Archbishop's approbation. Oh, what great joy fills my heart that
God has let me see this work of His mercy! How great is this work of the Most
High God! I am but His instrument. Oh, how ardently I desire to see this
Feast of the Divine Mercy which God is demanding through me. But if it is the
will of God that it be celebrated solemnly only after my death, even so I
rejoice in it already, and I celebrate it interiorly with my confessor's
permission. |
|
712 |
+
I saw Father Andrasz today, kneeling and engulfed in prayer, and suddenly
Jesus stood by him and, holding out both hands over his head, He said to me:-
He will lead you through; do not fear. |
|
713 |
October
11. This evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and its
great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and
fury. He seized the screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little
frightened at first, but I immediately made the sign of the cross with my
little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I
did not see this hideous figure but only his anger. Satan's anger is
terrible, and yet the screen was not shattered or broken, and I went on
writing quietly. I know well that the wretch will not touch me without God's
willing it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to attack me openly and
with such great fury and hate, but he does not disturb my peace for a moment,
and this composure of mine makes him furious. |
|
714 |
+
The Lord said to me today: Go
to the Superior and tell her that I want all the sisters and wards to say the
chaplet which I have taught you. They are to say it for nine days in the
chapel in order to appease My Father and to entreat God's mercy for Poland. I answered the Lord that I would tell her, but that
I must first speak about this with Father Andrasz, and I resolved that as
soon as Father comes I will speak to him at once about this matter. When
Father arrived, the circumstances were such that they prevented me from
seeing him, but I should not have paid any attention to the circumstances and
should have gone and settled the matter. I thought to myself, "Well,
I'll do it when he comes again." |
|
715 |
Oh,
how much that displeased God! In one moment, the presence of God left me,
that great presence of God which is continuously within me in a distinctly
felt way. At that moment, however, it completely left me. Darkness dominated
my soul to such an extent that I did not know whether I was in the state of
grace or not. Therefore, I did not receive Holy Communion for four days,
after which I saw Father Andrasz and told him everything. He comforted me,
saying, "You have not lost the grace of God, but all the same, be true
to Him." The moment I left the confessional, God's presence enveloped me
as before. I understood that God's grace must be received just as God sends
it, in the way He wants, and one must receive it in that form under which God
sends it to us. . |
|
716 |
O
my Jesus, I am making at this very moment a firm and eternal resolution by
virtue of Your grace and mercy, fidelity to the tiniest grace of Yours. |
|
717 |
All
night long, I was preparing to receive Holy Communion, since I could not
sleep because of physical suffering. My soul was flooded with love and
repentance. |
|
718 |
After
Holy Communion, I heard these words:- You see what you are of yourself, but do not be frightened at
this. If I were to reveal to you the whole misery that you are, you would die
of terror. However, be aware of what you are. Because you are such great
misery, I have revealed to you the whole ocean of My mercy. I seek and desire
souls like yours, but they are few. Your great trust in Me forces Me to
continuously grant you graces. You have great and incomprehensible rights
over My Heart, for you are a daughter of complete trust. You would not have
been able to bear the magnitude of the love which I have for you if I had
revealed it to you fully here on earth. I often give you a glimpse of it, but
know that this is only an exceptional grace from Me. My love and mercy knows
no bounds. |
|
719 |
Today,
I heard these words: Know, my child, that
for your sake I grant blessings to this whole vicinity. But you ought to
thank Me on their behalf, as they do not thank Me for the kindnesses I extend
to them. For the sake of your gratitude, I will continue to bless them. |
|
720 |
O
my Jesus, You know how difficult community life is, how many
misunderstandings and misconceptions, despite at times the most sincere good
will on both sides. But that is Your mystery, O Lord. We shall know it in
eternity; however, our judgments should always be mild. |
|
721 |
It
is a great, an immeasurably great grace of God to have a spiritual director.
I feel now that, without him, I would not be able to journey alone in my spiritual
life. Great is the power of a priest. I thank God unceasingly for giving me a
spiritual director. |
|
722 |
+
Today, I heard these words: You
see how weak you are, so when shall I be able to count on you? I answered, "Jesus, be always with me, for I am
Your little child. Jesus, You know what little children do." |
|
723 |
+
Today, I heard these words:
The graces I grant you are not for you alone, but for a great number of other
souls as well... And your heart is My constant dwelling place, despite the
misery that you are. I unite Myself with you, take away your misery and give
you My mercy. I perform works of mercy in every soul. The greater the sinner,
the greater the right he has to My mercy. My mercy is confirmed in every work
of My hands. He who trusts in My mercy will not perish, for all his affairs
are Mine, and his enemies will be shattered at the
base of My footstool. |
|
724 |
On
the eve of the retreat, I started to pray that the Lord Jesus might give me
just a little health so that I could take part in the retreat, because I was
feeling so ill that I thought perhaps it might be my last. However, as soon
as I had started praying I felt a strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the
prayer of supplication and began to thank the Lord for everything He sends
me, submitting myself completely to His holy will. Then I felt profound peace
of soul. + Faithful submission to the will of God, always and everywhere, in
all events and circumstances of life, gives great glory to God. Such
submission to the will of God carries more weight with Him than long fasts,
mortifications and the most severe penances. Oh, how great is the reward for
one act of loving submission to the will of God! As I write, my soul is
enraptured at the thought of how much God loves it and of the peace that my
soul already enjoys, here on earth. |
|
725 |
+
Eight-day Retreat, October 20, 1936. |
|
726 |
+When
I entered the chapel for a five-minute adoration, I
asked the Lord Jesus how I should conduct myself during this retreat. Then I
heard this voice in my soul: I
desire that you be entirely transformed into love and that you burn ardently
as a pure victim of love... |
|
727 |
Eternal
Truth, give me a ray of Your light that I may come to know You, O Lord, and
worthily glorify Your infinite mercy. And at the same time, grant me to know
myself, the whole abyss of misery that I am |
|
728 |
+
I have chosen Saint Claude de la Colombiere and
Saint Gertrude as my patron saints for this retreat, that
they may intercede for me before the Mother of God and the merciful Savior. |
|
729 |
During
the meditation on creation... at a certain point, my soul became closely
united to its Lord and Creator. In this union, I recognized the purpose and
destiny of my life. My purpose is to become closely united to God through
love, and my destiny is to praise and glorify God's mercy. |
|
730 |
+ In this retreat, I shall keep you continually close to My
Heart, that you may better know My mercy, that mercy which I have for people
and especially for poor sinners. |
|
731 |
On
the initial day of the retreat, I was visited by one of the sisters [143] who had come to make her perpetual vows.
She confided to me that she had no trust in God and became discouraged at
every little thing. I answered her, "It is well that you have told me
this, Sister; I will pray for you." And I spoke a few words to her about
how much distrust hurts the Lord Jesus, especially distrust on the part of a
chosen soul. She told me that, beginning with her perpetual vows, she would
practice trust. Now I know that even [some] souls that are chosen and welladvanced in the religious life or the spiritual life
do not have the courage to entrust themselves completely to God. And this is
so because few souls know the unfathomable mercy of God and His great
goodness. |
|
732 |
+
The great majesty of God which pervaded me today and still pervades me awoke
in me a great fear, but a fear filled with respect, and not the fear of a
slave, which is quite different from the fear of respect. This fear animated
by respect arose in my heart today because of love and the knowledge of the
greatness of God, and that is a great joy to the soul. The soul trembles
before the smallest offense against God; but that does not trouble or darken
its happiness. There, where love is in charge, all is well. |
|
733 |
It
sometimes happens, while I am listening to the meditation,
that one word puts me in very close union with the Lord, and I no longer know
what Father [144] is saying. I know that I am close
to the most merciful Heart of Jesus; my whole spirit is entirely plunged in
Him, and in one moment I learn more than during long hours of intellectual
inquiry and meditation. These are sudden lights which permit me to know
things as God sees them, regarding matters of both the interior and the
exterior world. |
|
734 |
I
see that Jesus himself is acting in my soul during this retreat. And as for
me, I try only to be faithful to His grace. I have submitted my soul
completely to the influence of God. This Mighty Ruler of Heaven has taken entire
possession of my soul. I feel that I am being lifted up above earth and
heaven into the inner life of God, where I come to know the Father, the Son
and the Holy Spirit, but always in the unity of majesty. |
|
735 |
+
I will enclose myself in the chalice of Jesus so that I may comfort Him
continually. I will do everything within my power to save souls, and I will
do it through prayer and suffering. |
|
736 |
This
evening, I saw the Lord Jesus just as He was during His Passion. His eyes
were raised up to His Father, and He was praying for us. I %-I |
|
737 |
+
Although I was ill, I made up my mind to make a Holy Hour today as usual.
During that hour, I saw the Lord Jesus being scourged at the pillar. In the midst
of this frightful torture, Jesus was praying. After a while, He said to me, There are few souls who contemplate My Passion with true
feeling; I give great graces to souls who meditate devoutly on My Passion. |
|
738 |
+ Without special help from Me, you are not even capable of
accepting My graces. You know who you are. |
|
739 |
After
Holy Communion today, I spoke at length to the Lord Jesus about people who
are special to me. Then I heard these words: My daughter, don't be exerting yourself so much with words.
Those whom you love in a special way, I too love in a special way, and for
your sake, I shower My graces upon them. I am pleased when you tell Me about
them, but don't be doing so with such excessive effort. |
|
740 |
+
O Savior of the world. I unite myself with Your mercy. My Jesus, I join all
my sufferings to Yours and deposit them in the treasury of the Church for the
benefit of souls. |
|
741 |
Today,
I was led by an Angel to the chasms of hell. It is a place of great torture;
how awesomely large and extensive it is! The kinds of tortures I saw: the
first torture that constitutes hell is the loss of God; the second is
perpetual remorse of conscience; the third is that one's condition will never
change; the fourth is the fire that will penetrate the soul without
destroying it-a terrible suffering, since it is a purely spiritual fire, lit
by God's anger; the fifth torture is continual darkness and a terrible
suffocating smell, and, despite the darkness, the devils and the souls of the
damned see each other and all the evil, both of others and their own; the
sixth torture is the constant company of Satan; the seventh torture is
horrible despair, hatred of God, vile words, curses and blasphemies. These
are the tortures suffered by all the damned together, but that is not the end
of the sufferings. There are special tortures destined for particular souls.
These are the torments of the senses. Each soul undergoes terrible and
indescribable sufferings, related to the manner in which it has sinned. There
are caverns and pits of torture where one form of agony differs from another.
I would have died at the very sight of these tortures if the omnipotence of
God had not supported me. Let the sinner know that he will be tortured
throughout all eternity, in those senses which he made use of to sin. I am writing this at the command of God, so that
no soul may find an excuse by saying there is no hell, or that nobody has ever
been there, and so no one can say what it is like. |
|
742 |
My daughter, if I demand through you that people revere My
mercy, you should be the first to distinguish yourself by this confidence in
My mercy. I demand from you deeds of mercy, which are to arise out of love
for Me. You are to show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You
must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it. |
|
743 |
Two
general resolutions: |
|
744 |
+
I often feel that, apart from Jesus, I get no help from anyone, although
sometimes I am very much in need of clarifications concerning the demands of
the Lord. |
|
745 |
During
Holy Mass, I was so enveloped in the great interior fire of God's love and
the desire to save souls that I do not know how to express it. I feel I am
all aflame. I shall fight all evil with the weapon of mercy. I am being
burned up by the desire to save souls. I traverse the world's length and
breadth and venture as far as its ultimate limits and its wildest lands to
save souls. I do this through prayer and sacrifice. I want every soul to
glorify the mercy of God, for each one experiences the effects of that mercy
on himself. The Saints in heaven worship the mercy of the Lord. I want to
worship it even now, here on earth, and to spread devotion to it in the way
that God demands of me. |
|
746 |
I
have understood that at certain and most difficult moments I shall be alone,
deserted by everyone, and that I must face all the storms and fight with all
the strength of my soul, even with those from whom I expected to get help. |
|
747 |
The
day of renewal of vows [Friday, October 30, 1936]. God's presence pervades my
soul, not only in a spiritual way, but I feel it in a physical way also. |
|
748 |
November
2, [1936]. In the evening after Vespers, I went to the cemetery [in the
sisters' park]. I had been praying for a while when I saw one of our sisters,
who said to me, "We are in the chapel." I understood that I was to
go to the chapel and there pray and gain the indulgences. The next day,
during Holy Mass, I saw three white doves soaring from the altar toward
heaven. I understood that not only the three souls that I saw had gone to
heaven, but also many others who had died beyond the confines of our institute.
Oh, how good and merciful is the Lord! |
|
749 |
Conversation
with Father Andrasz, at the end of the retreat. I was greatly surprised by
one thing that I noticed during each conversation in the course of which I
had asked advice and direction of Father Andrasz, and it is this: I noticed
that Father Andrasz answered all my questions about things which the Lord has
asked of me so clearly and with such assurance that it was as though he were
experiencing it all himself. O my Jesus, if only there were more spiritual
directors of this kind, souls under such guidance would very quickly reach
the summits of sanctity and would not waste such great graces! I give
unceasing thanks to God for so great a grace; namely, that in His great
goodness He has deigned to place these pillars of light along the path of my
spiritual life. They light my way so that I do not go astray or become
delayed in my journey toward close union with the Lord. I have a great love
for the Church, which educates souls and leads them to God. |
|
750 |
October
31, 1936. Conversation with Mother General [Michael]. |
Notebook I 1-50 51-100 101-150 151-200 201-250 251-300 301-350 351-400 401-450 451-500 501-521
Notebook II 522-600 601-650 651-700 701-750 751-800 801-850 851-900 901-950 951-1000
Notebook III 1001-1050 1051-1100 1101-1150 1151-1200 1201-1230
Notebook V
1322-1400 1401-1450 1451-1500 1501-1550 1551-1589
Notebook VI 1590-1650 1651-1700 1701-1750 1751-1803
Preparation for Holy Communion 1804-1828
Diary, St. Maria
Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate
Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.
To
purchase the dairy, visit the Marians of the
Immaculate Conception website
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