>>DIVINE MERCY APOSTOLATE     .... Diary

Divine Mercy in my Soul PDF File

Notebook I          1-50 †  51-100  †  101-150  †  151-200  †  201-250  †  251-300 † 301-350  †  351-400  †  401-450  †  451-500  †  501-521 †  

Notebook II         522-600 †  601-650  †  651-700  †  701-750  †  751-800  †  801-850 †  851-900  †  901-950  †  951-1000  †  

Notebook III      1001-1050 †  1051-1100  †  1101-1150  †  1151-1200  †  1201-1230  †  

Notebook IV       1231-1321 †  

Notebook V        1322-1400 †  1401-1450  †  1451-1500  †  1501-1550  †  1551-1589  †  

Notebook VI      1590-1650 †  1651-1700  †  1701-1750  †  1751-1803  †  

Preparation for Holy Communion                1804-1828 †  

 

 

Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( V: 1551 – 1589 )

Notebook 5

1551

In the meditation on death, I asked the Lord to deign to fill my heart with those sentiments which I will have at the moment of my death. And through God's grace I received an interior reply that I had done what was within my power and so could be at peace. At that moment, such profound gratitude to God was awakened in my soul that I burst into tears of joy like a little child. I prepared to receive Holy Communion next morning as "viaticum," and I said the prayers of the dying 233 for my own intention.

1552

Then I heard the words: As you are united with Me in life, so will you be united at the moment of death. After these words, such great trust in God's great mercy was awakened in my soul that, even if I had had the sins of the whole world, as well as the sins of all the condemned souls weighing on my conscience, I would not have doubted God's goodness but, without hesitation, would have thrown myself into the abyss of the divine mercy, which is always open to us; and, with a heart crushed to dust, I would have cast myself at His feet, abandoning myself totally to His holy will, which is mercy itself.

1553

O my Jesus, Life of my soul, my Life, my Savior, my sweetest Bridegroom, and at the same time my Judge, You know that in this last hour of mine I do not count on any merits of my own, but only on Your mercy. Even as of today, I immerse myself totally in the abyss of Your mercy, which is always open to every soul.

O my Jesus, I have only one task to carry out in my lifetime, in death, and throughout eternity, and that is to adore Your incomprehensible mercy. No mind, either of angel or of man, will ever fathom the mysteries of Your mercy, O God. The angels are lost in amazement before the mystery of divine mercy, but cannot comprehend it. Everything that has come from the Creator's hand is contained in this inconceivable mystery; that is to say, in the very depths of His tender mercy. When I meditate on this, my spirit swoons, and my heart dissolves in joy. O Jesus, it is through Your most compassionate Heart, as through a crystal, that the rays of divine mercy have come to us.

1554

February 1, [1938]. Today I am feeling a little worse, physically, but I am still taking part in the common life [prayers, meals, and recreation]. I am making great efforts, known to You alone, Jesus. In the refectory today, I did not think I would last until the end of the meal. Every mouthful causes me extreme pain.

1555

When Mother S. [Irene] visited me a week ago, she said, "You catch every sickness, Sister, because your system is so weak, but that is not your fault. In fact, if any other sister had that same sickness, she would certainly be walking around; whereas you, Sister, must stay in bed!! These words did not hurt me, but it is better not to make such comparisons with very sick persons, because their cup is full enough as it is. Another thing: when sisters visit the sick, they should not ask in detail every time, "What is hurting you, and how does it hurt?" because it is very tiresome to keep telling each sister the same thing about oneself. And it sometimes happens that one must repeat the same thing over and over many times a day.

1556

When I had gone to the chapel for a moment, the Lord gave me to know that, among His chosen ones, there are some who are especially chosen, and whom He calls to a higher form of holiness, to exceptional union with Him. These are seraphic souls, from whom God demands greater love than He does from others. Although all live in the same convent, yet He sometimes demands of a particular soul a greater degree of love. Such a soul understands this call, because God makes this known to it interiorly, but the soul may either follow this call or not. It depends on the soul itself whether it is faithful to these touches of the Holy Spirit, or whether it resists them. I have learned that there is a place in purgatory where souls will pay their debt to God for such transgressions; this kind of torment is the most difficult of all. The soul which is specially marked by God will be distinguished everywhere, whether in heaven or in purgatory or in hell. In heaven, it will be distinguished from other souls by greater glory and radiance and deeper knowledge of God. In purgatory, by greater pain, because it knows God more profoundly and desires Him more vehemently. In hell, it will suffer more profoundly than other souls, because it knows more fully whom it has lost. This indelible mark of God's exclusive love, in the [soul], will not be obliterated.

1557

O Jesus, keep me in holy fear, so that I may not waste graces. Help me to be faithful to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit. Grant that my heart may burst for love of You, rather than I should neglect even one act of love for You.

1558

February 2, [1938]. Darkness of the soul. Today is the Feast of the Mother of God, and in my soul it is so dark. The Lord has hidden Himself, and I am alone, all alone. My mind has become so dimmed that I see only phantasies about me. Not a single ray of light penetrates my soul. I do not understand myself or those who speak to me. Frightful temptations regarding the holy faith assail me. O my Jesus, save me. I cannot say anything more. I cannot describe these things in detail, for I fear lest someone be scandalized on reading this. I am astounded that such torments could befall a soul. O hurricane, what are you doing to the boat of my heart? This storm has lasted the whole day and night.

When Mother Superior [Irene] came in to see me and asked, "Would you like to take advantage of this occasion, Sister, since Father An. [Andrasz] is coming to hear confessions?" I answered, no. It seemed to me that Father would not understand me, nor would I be able to make a confession.

I spent the whole night with Jesus in Gethsemane. From my breast there escaped one continuous moan. A natural dying will be much easier, because then one is in agony and will die; while here, one is in agony, but cannot die. O Jesus, I never thought such suffering could exist. Nothingness: that is the reality. O Jesus, save me! I believe in You with all my heart. So many times have I seen the radiance of Your face, and now, where are You, Lord?... I believe, I believe, and again I believe in You, Triune God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and in all the truths which Your holy Church gives me to believe... But the darkness does not recede, and my spirit plunges into even greater agony. And at that moment, such terrible torment overwhelmed me that now I am amazed at myself that I did not breathe my last, but this was for only a brief instant.

1559

At that moment I saw Jesus, and from His Heart there issued those same two rays, which enveloped me, whole and entire. At the same moment, all my torments vanished. My daughter, the Lord said, know that of yourself you are just what you have gone through, and it is only by My grace that you are a participant of eternal life and all the gifts I lavish on you. And with these words of the Lord, there came to me a true knowledge of myself. Jesus is giving me a lesson in deep humility and, at the same time, one of total trust in Him. My heart is reduced to dust and ashes, and even if all people were to trample me under their feet, I would still consider that a favor.

I feel and am, in fact, very deeply permeated with the knowledge that I am nothing, so that real humiliations will be a refreshment for me.

1560

February 3, [1938]. Today after Holy Communion, Jesus again gave me a few directives: First, do not fight against a temptation by yourself, but disclose it to the confessor at once, and then the temptation will lose all its force. Second, during these ordeals do not lose your peace; live in My presence; ask My Mother and the Saints for help. Third, have the certitude that I am looking at you and supporting you. Fourth, do not fear either struggles of the soul or any temptations, because I am supporting you; if only you are willing to fight, know that the victory is always on your side. Fifth, know that by fighting bravely you give Me great glory and amass merits for yourself. Temptation gives you a chance to show Me your fidelity.

1561

And now I am going to tell you something that is most important for you: boundless sincerity with your spiritual director. If you do not take advantage of this great grace according to My instructions, I will take him away from you, and then you will be left to yourself; and all the torments, which you know very well, will return to you. It displeases Me that you do not take advantage of the opportunity when you are able to see him and talk with him. Know that it is a great grace on My part when I give a spiritual director to a soul. Many souls ask Me for this, but it is not to all that I grant this grace. From the moment when I gave you this priest as spiritual director, I endowed him with new light so that he might easily know and understand your soul...

1562

O my Jesus, my only mercy, allow me to see contentment in Your face as a sign of reconciliation with me, because my heart cannot bear Your seriousness; if this continues a moment longer my heart will burst with grief. You see that I am even now crushed to dust.

1563

And at that very moment I saw myself in some kind of a palace; and Jesus gave me His hand, sat me at His side, and said with kindness, My bride, you always please Me by your humility. The greatest misery does not stop Me from uniting Myself to a soul, but where there is pride, I am not there.

When I came to myself, I reflected on what had happened in my heart, thanking God for His love and for the mercy that He had shown me.

1564

Jesus, hide me; just as You have hidden Yourself under the form of the white Host, so hide me from human eyes, and particularly hide the gifts which You so kindly grant me. May I not betray outwardly what You are effecting in my soul. I am a white host before You, O Divine Priest. Consecrate me Yourself, and may my transubstantiation be known only to You. I stand before You each day as a sacrificial host and implore Your mercy upon the world. In silence, and unseen, I will empty myself before You; my pure and undivided love will burn, in profound silence, as a holocaust. And may the fragrance of my love be wafted to the foot of Your throne. You are the Lord of lords, but You delight in innocent and humble souls.

1565

When I entered the chapel for a moment, the Lord said to me, My daughter, help Me to save a certain dying sinner. Say the chaplet that I have taught you for him. When I began to say the chaplet, I saw the man dying in the midst of terrible torment and struggle. His Guardian Angel was defending him, but he was, as it were, powerless against the enormity of the soul's misery. A multitude of devils was waiting for the soul. But while I was saying the chaplet, I saw Jesus just as He is depicted in the image. The rays which issued from Jesus' Heart enveloped the sick man, and the powers of darkness fled in panic. The sick man peacefully breathed his last. When I came to myself, I understood how very important the chaplet was for the dying. It appeases the anger of God.

1566

When I was apologizing to the Lord Jesus for a certain action of mine which, a little later, turned out to be imperfect, Jesus put me at ease with these words: My daughter, I reward you for the purity of your intention which you had at the time when you acted. My Heart rejoiced that you had My love under consideration at the time you acted, and that in so distinct a way; and even now you still derive benefit from this; that is, from the humiliation. Yes, My child, I want you to always have such great purity of intention in the very least things you undertake.

1567

As I took the pen in hand, I addressed a short prayer to the Holy Spirit and said, "Jesus, bless this pen so that everything You order me to write may be for the glory of God." Then I heard a voice: Yes, I bless [it], because this writing bears the seal of obedience to your superior and confessor, and by that very fact I am already given glory, and many souls will be drawing profit from it. My daughter, I demand that you devote all your free moments to writing about My goodness and mercy. It is your office and your assignment throughout your life to continue to make known to souls the great mercy I have for them and to exhort them to trust in My bottomless mercy.

1568

O my Jesus, I believe in Your words and no longer have any doubt about this because in the course of one conversation with Mother Superior [Irene], she told me to write more about Your mercy. That statement was very much in accord with Your request. O my Jesus, I now understand that if You demand something from a soul, You also inspire the superiors to allow us to fulfill Your demands, even though it sometimes happens that we do not receive permission at once, and our patience is often put to the test...

1569

+ O Everlasting Love, Jesus, who have enclosed Yourself in the Host,
And therein hide Your divinity and conceal Your beauty,
You do this in order to give Yourself, whole and entire, to my soul
And in order not to terrify it with Your greatness.

O Everlasting Love, Jesus, who have shrouded Yourself with bread,
Eternal Light, incomprehensible Fountain of joy and happiness,
Because You want to be heaven on earth to me,
That indeed You are, when Your love, O God, imparts itself to me.

1570

O Greatly Merciful God, Infinite Goodness, today all mankind calls out from the abyss of its misery to Your mercy-to Your compassion, O God; and it is with its mighty voice of misery that it cries out. Gracious God, do not reject the prayer of this earth's exiles! O Lord, Goodness beyond our understanding, Who are acquainted with our misery through and through, and know that by our own power we cannot ascend to You, we implore You: anticipate us with Your grace and keep on increasing Your mercy in us, that we may faithfully do Your holy will all through our life and at death's hour. Let the omnipotence of Your mercy shield us from the darts of our salvation's enemies, that we may with confidence, as Your children, await Your final coming-that day known to You alone. And we expect to obtain everything promised us by Jesus in spite of all our wretchedness. For Jesus is our Hope: Through His merciful Heart, as through an open gate, we pass through to heaven.

1571

I have noticed that, from the very moment I entered the convent, I have been charged with one thing; namely, that I am a saint. But this word was always used scoffingly. At first, this hurt me very much, but when I had risen above it, I paid no attention to it. However, when on one occasion a certain person [perhaps Father Sopocko] suffered because of my sanctity, I was very pained that, because of me, others can experience some unpleasantness. And I began to complain to the Lord Jesus, asking why this should be so, and the Lord answered me, Are you sad because of this? Of course you are a saint. Soon I Myself will make this manifest in you, and they will pronounce the same word, saint, only this time it will be with love.

1572

I remind you, My daughter, that as often as you hear the clock strike the third hour, immerse yourself completely in My mercy, adoring and glorifying it; invoke its omnipotence for the whole world, and particularly for poor sinners; for at that moment mercy was opened wide for every soul. In this hour you can obtain everything for yourself and for others for the asking; it was the hour of grace for the whole world-mercy triumphed over justice.

My daughter, try your best to make the Stations of the Cross in this hour, provided that your duties permit it; and if you are not able to make the Stations of the Cross, then at least step into the chapel for a moment and adore, in the Blessed Sacrament, My Heart, which is full of mercy; and should you be unable to step into the chapel, immerse yourself in prayer there where you happen to be, if only for a very brief instant. I claim veneration for My mercy from every creature, but above all from you, since it is to you that I have given the most profound understanding of this mystery.

1573

+ O my God, I am overcome with great longing for You today. Oh, nothing else any longer occupies my heart. The earth no longer contains anything for me. O Jesus, how strongly I feel this exile, how very prolonged it is for me! O death, messenger of God, when will you announce to me that longed-for moment, through which I will be united to my God forever?

1574

O my Jesus, may the last days of my exile be spent totally according to Your most holy will. I unite my sufferings, my bitterness and my last agony itself to Your Sacred Passion; and I offer myself for the whole world to implore an abundance of God's mercy for souls, and in particular for the souls who are in our homes. I firmly trust and commit myself entirely to Your holy will, which is mercy itself. Your mercy will be everything for me at the last hour, as You yourself have promised me...

1575

+ Hail to You, Eternal Love, my Sweet Jesus, who have condescended to dwell in my heart! I salute You, O glorious Godhead who have deigned to stoop to me, and out of love for me have so emptied Yourself as to assume the insignificant form of bread. I salute You, Jesus, never-fading flower of humanity. You are all there is for my soul. Your love is purer than a lily, and Your presence is more pleasing to me than the fragrance of a hyacinth. Your friendship is more tender and subtle than the scent of a rose, and yet it is stronger than death. O Jesus, incomprehensible beauty, it is with pure souls that You communicate best, because they alone are capable of heroism and sacrifice. O sweet, rose-red blood of Jesus, ennoble my blood and change it into Your own blood, and let this be done to me according to Your good pleasure.

1576

Know, My daughter, that between Me and you there is a bottomless abyss, an abyss which separates the Creator from the creature. But this abyss is filled with My mercy. I raise you up to Myself, not that I have need of you, but it is solely out of mercy that I grant you the grace of union with Myself.

1577

Tell souls not to place within their own hearts obstacles to My mercy, which so greatly wants to act within them. My mercy works in all those hearts which open their doors to it. Both the sinner and the righteous person have need of My mercy. Conversion, as well as perseverance, is a grace of My mercy.

1578

Let souls who are striving for perfection particularly adore My mercy, because the abundance of graces which I grant them flows from My mercy. I desire that these souls distinguish themselves by boundless trust in My mercy. I myself will attend to the sanctification of such souls. I will provide them with everything they will need to attain sanctity. The graces of My mercy are drawn by means of one vessel only, and that is-trust. The more a soul trusts, the more it will receive. Souls that trust boundlessly are a great comfort to Me, because I pour all the treasures of My graces into them. I rejoice that they ask for much, because it is My desire to give much, very much. On the other hand, I am sad when souls ask for little, when they narrow their hearts.

1579

+ It is when I meet with hypocrisy that I suffer most. Now I understand You, my Savior, for rebuking the pharisees so severly for their hypocrisy. You associated more graciously with hardened sinners when they approached You contritely.

1580

My Jesus, I now see that I have gone through all the stages of my life following You: childhood, youth, vocation, apostolic work, Tabor, Gethsemane, and now I am already with You on Calvary. I have willingly allowed myself to be crucified, and I am indeed already crucified; although I can still walk a little, I am stretched out on the cross, and I feel distinctly that strength is flowing to me from Your Cross, that You and You alone are my perseverance. Although I often hear the voice of temptation calling to me, "Come down from the cross!" the power of God strengthens me. Although loneliness and darkness and sufferings of all kinds beat against my heart, the mysterious power of God supports and strengthens me. I want to drink the cup to the last drop. I trust firmly that Your grace, which has sustained me in the Garden of Olives, will sustain me also now that I am on Calvary.

1581

O my Jesus, my Master, I unite my desires to the desires that You had on the cross: I desire to fulfill Your holy will; I desire the conversion of souls; I desire that Your mercy be adored; I desire that the triumph of the Church be hastened; I desire the Feast of Mercy to be celebrated all over the world; I desire sanctity for priests; I desire that there be a saint in our Congregation; I desire that our whole Congregation have a great spirit of zeal for the glory of God and for the salvation of souls; I desire that souls who live in our homes do not offend God, but persevere in good; I desire that the blessing of God descend upon my parents and my whole family; I desire that God give special light to my spiritual directors, and in particular to Father An. and Father So.; I desire a special blessing for Superiors 234 under whose direction I have been, and in particular for Mother , General [Michael], for Mother Irene and for the Directress of Novices, Mother [Mary] Joseph.

1582

O my Jesus, I now embrace the whole world and ask You for mercy for it. When You tell me, O God, that it is enough, that Your holy will has been completely accomplished, then, my Savior, in union with You, I will commit my soul into the hands of the Heavenly Father, full of trust in Your unfathomable mercy. And when I stand at the foot of Your throne, the first hymn that I will sing will be one to Your mercy. Poor earth, I will not forget you. Although I feel that I will be immediately drowned in God as in an ocean of happiness, that will not be an obstacle to my returning to earth to encourage souls and incite them to trust in God's mercy. Indeed, this immersion in God will give me the possibility of boundless action.

1583

As I write this, I hear Satan grinding his teeth. He cannot stand God's mercy, and keeps banging things in my cell. But I feel so much of God's power within me that it does not even bother me that the enemy of our salvation gets angry, and I quietly keep on writing.

1584

O inconceivable goodness of God, which shields us at every step, may Your mercy be praised without cease. That You became a brother to humans, not to angels, is a miracle of the unfathomable mystery of Your mercy. All our trust is in You, our first-born Brother, Jesus Christ, true God and true Man. My heart flutters with joy to see how good God is to us wretched and ungrateful people. And as a proof of His love, He gives us the incomprehensible gift of Himself in the person of His Son. Throughout all eternity we shall never exhaust that mystery of love. O mankind, why do you think so little about God being truly among us? O Lamb of God, I do not know what to admire in You first: Your gentleness, Your hidden life, the emptying of Yourself for the sake of man, or the constant miracle of Your mercy, which transforms souls and raises them up to eternal life. Although You are hidden in this way, Your omnipotence is more manifest here than in the creation of man. Though the omnipotence of Your mercy is at work in the justification of the sinner, yet Your action is gentle and hidden.

1585

A vision of the Mother of God. In the midst of a great brilliance, I saw the Mother of God clothed in a white gown, girt about with a golden cincture; and there were tiny stars, also of gold, over the whole garment, and chevron-shaped sleeves lined with gold. Her cloak was sky-blue, lightly thrown over the shoulders. A transparent veil was delicately drawn over her head, while her flowing hair was set off beautifully by a golden crown which terminated in little crosses. On Her left arm She held the Child Jesus. A Blessed Mother of this type I had not yet seen. Then She looked at me kindly and said: I am the Mother of God of Priests. 235 At that, She lowered Jesus from Her arm to the ground, raised Her right hand heavenward and said: O God, bless Poland, bless priests. Then She addressed me once again: Tell the priests what you have seen. I resolved that at the first opportunity [I would have] of seeing Father [Andrasz] I would tell; but I myself can make nothing of this vision.

1586

O my Jesus, You see how very grateful I am to Father Sopocko, who has advanced Your work so much. That soul, so humble, has had to endure all the storms. He has not allowed himself to become discouraged by adversities, but has faithfully responded to the call of God.

1587

+ One of the sisters was appointed to look after the sick, but she was so negligent that one had to practice real mortification. One day, I made up my mind to tell the superior about it, but then I heard a voice in my soul: Bear it patiently; someone else will tell her. But the service was like that for a whole month. When I was finally able to come down to the refectory and to recreation, I heard these words in my soul: Now other sisters are going to tell about that sister's negligent service, but you are to keep silent and not speak about the matter. And at that point there broke out sharp criticism of the sister, but she could find nothing [to say] in her own defense, and all the sisters said in chorus, "Sister, you had better improve in your care of the sick." I have found that sometimes the Lord does not want us to say something on our own; He has His ways and knows when to speak out.

1588

Today I heard the words: In the Old Covenant I sent prophets wielding thunderbolts to My people. Today I am sending you with My mercy to the people of the whole world. I do not want to punish aching mankind, but I desire to heal it, pressing it to My Merciful Heart. I use punishment when they themselves force Me to do so; My hand is reluctant to take hold of the sword of justice. Before the Day of Justice I am sending the Day of Mercy. I replied, "O my Jesus, speak to souls Yourself, because my words are insignificant."

+ J.M.J.

The Soul's Expectation of the Coming of the Lord.

1589

I do not know, O Lord, at what hour You will come.
And so I keep constant watch and listen
As Your chosen bride,
Knowing that You like to come unexpected.
Yet, a pure heart will sense You from afar, O Lord.

I wait for You, Lord, in calm and silence,
With great longing in my heart
And with invincible desire.
I feel that my love for You is changing into fire,
And that it will rise up to heaven like a flame at life's end,
And then all my wishes will be fulfilled.

Come then, at last, my most sweet Lord
And take my thirsting heart
There, to Your home in the lofty regions of heaven,
Where Your eternal life perdures.

Life on this earth is but an agony,
As my heart feels it is created for the heights.
For it the lowlands of this life hold no interest,
For my homeland is in heaven-this I firmly believe.

[End of Notebook Five]

 

Notebook I          1-50 †  51-100  †  101-150  †  151-200  †  201-250  †  251-300 † 301-350  †  351-400  †  401-450  †  451-500  †  501-521 †  

Notebook II         522-600 †  601-650  †  651-700  †  701-750  †  751-800  †  801-850 †  851-900  †  901-950  †  951-1000  †  

Notebook III      1001-1050 †  1051-1100  †  1101-1150  †  1151-1200  †  1201-1230  †  

Notebook IV       1231-1321 †  

Notebook V        1322-1400 †  1401-1450  †  1451-1500  †  1501-1550  †  1551-1589  †  

Notebook VI      1590-1650 †  1651-1700  †  1701-1750  †  1751-1803  †  

Preparation for Holy Communion                1804-1828 †  

 

Diary, St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.

To purchase the dairy, visit the Marians of the Immaculate Conception website

 

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