MHII 231211
Sister Maria's Story
Sr
Maria Lu Keong of the Incarnation
I was born in Malaysia, I came to this
country when I was 19 to be a student. I received my calling to be a religious
soon after I was confirmed at 17. I had no courage at that time to acknowledge
this since none of my family has a religious vocation and I did not want to
cause an uprising in my family, especially a large extended one.
Although I did not want to believe this calling which I knew would cost me a
tremendous pain of not having my own family and being looked upon as 'strange'
within my close knit family, I felt an overwhelming joy of being alive like I
never did in my life. I experienced God's deep love in my prayer each night and
His Power at work in all things. I started to improve my English and attended
daily Mass secretly if possible.
I came to England hoping my English would become fluent. It was during the
course of my degree that I became very unhappy, I no
longer could experience God. After all that blissful relationship with God for
about a year, I experienced a total emptiness of the presence of God. I began
to doubt if God ever existed and felt terribly guilty for my feeling, I had to
go to daily Mass just in case God still cared about me. It was only the Mass
that I had a desire for, not prayer, nor did I know if
I believed in the God I was brought up to believe in.
I stopped attending lectures after the Easter break in my second year, and
decided to search for religious life even in the stage of 'unbelief'. I just
had to find out if this desire for God is still true, or could I totally give
up my faith. I went to an apostolic religious congregation only to be told to
go back to university. Then finally I was directed by two other religious to
come to Arundel. I did that as my last resort and after the first night in the
guest house, I knew God existed.
Not I, rather, God embraced me with the strength to leave my
family and my country. Despite years of struggles in everyway
daily, happy to be here, it is a school of all schools, a place to learn
through failings and mistakes, the art of love and to bear the fruits of the
Holy Spirit.
23
Dec 2011
FFC. Youth . MASS . BIBLE . Catechism . Sacrament . >>DIVINE
MERCY
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