Divine Mercy in my Soul PDF File

Notebook I          1-50 †  51-100  †  101-150  †  151-200  †  201-250  †  251-300 † 301-350  †  351-400  †  401-450  †  451-500  †  501-521 †  

Notebook II         522-600 †  601-650  †  651-700  †  701-750  †  751-800  †  801-850 †  851-900  †  901-950  †  951-1000  †  

Notebook III      1001-1050 †  1051-1100  †  1101-1150  †  1151-1200  †  1201-1230  †  

Notebook IV       1231-1321 †  

Notebook V        1322-1400 †  1401-1450  †  1451-1500  †  1501-1550  †  1551-1589  †  

Notebook VI      1590-1650 †  1651-1700  †  1701-1750  †  1751-1803  †  

Preparation for Holy Communion                1804-1828 †  



Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( III:  1051 – 1100 )

Notebook 3


I have felt great sufferings in my body, but I feel the Lord is upholding me, for otherwise I would not be able to bear it.


O my Jesus, I beg You on behalf of the whole Church: Grant it love and the light of Your Spirit, and give power to the words of priests so that hardened hearts might be brought to repentance and return to You, O Lord. Lord, give us holy priests; You yourself maintain them in holiness. O Divine and Great High Priest, may the power of Your mercy accompany them everywhere and protect them from the devil's traps and snares which are continually being set for the souls of priests. May the power of Your mercy, O Lord, shatter and bring to naught all that might tarnish the sanctity of priests, for You can do all things.


March 25, 1937. Holy Thursday. During Holy Mass, I saw the Lord, who said to me, Lean your head on My breast and rest. The Lord pressed me to His Heart and said, I shall give you a small portion of My Passion, but do not be afraid, be brave; do not seek relief, but accept everything with submission to My will.


When Jesus was taking leave of me, such great pain filled my soul that it is impossible to express it. Physical strength left me; I left the chapel quickly and went to bed. I was oblivious of what was going on around me. My soul was filled with longing for the Lord, and all the bitterness of His Divine Heart was imparted to me. This lasted for about three hours. I asked the Lord to protect me from the eyes of those around me. Although I wanted to, I could not take any food all day, until evening.

I earnestly desired to spend the whole night with Jesus in the dark prison cell. [184] I prayed until eleven o'clock. At eleven, the Lord said to me, Lie down and take your rest. I have let you experience in three hours what I suffered during the whole night. And immediately I went to bed.

I had no physical strength left; the suffering had deprived me of it completely. Throughout all this time, I had been in a sort of swoon. Every beat of Jesus' Heart was reflected in my heart and pierced my soul. If these tortures had concerned me only, I would have suffered less; but as I looked at the One whom my heart has loved with all its might and saw that He was suffering, and that I could not bring Him any relief, my heart dissolved in love and bitterness. I was dying with Him, and yet I could not die. But I would not have exchanged that martyrdom for all the pleasures in the whole world. In the course of this suffering, my love grew immeasurably. I know that the Lord was supporting me with His omnipotence, for otherwise I would not have been able to endure it for even a moment. Together with Him, I underwent, in a special way, all the various tortures. The world still has no idea of all that Jesus suffered. I accompanied Him to the Garden of Gethsemane; I stayed with Him in the prison; I went with Him before the judges; I underwent with Him each of the tortures. Not a single one of His movements or looks escaped my notice. I came to know all the omnipotence of His love and of His mercy toward souls.


March 26, 1937. Friday. In the morning, I at once felt the torture of His five wounds in my body. This suffering continued until three o'clock. Although there is no outward sign of it, the torture is no less painful. I am glad that Jesus is protecting me from people's eyes.


At eleven o'clock Jesus said to me, My host, you are refreshment for My tormented Heart. I thought, after these words, that my heart would burn up. And He brought me into such close intimacy with Himself that my heart was espoused to His Heart in a loving union, and I could feel the faintest stir of His Heart and He, of mine. The fire of my created love was joined to the ardor of His eternal love. This one grace surpasses all others in its immensity. His Trinitarian Being enveloped me entirely, and I am totally immersed in Him. My littleness is, as it were, wrestling with this Immortal Mighty One. I am immersed in incomprehensible love and incomprehensible torture because of His Passion. All that concerns His Being is imparted to me also.


Up to now, Jesus has been bringing me to know about, and to have a presentiment of, this grace, but today He granted it to me. I would not even dare to dream about it. My heart is in ceaseless ecstasy, as it were, although outwardly nothing disturbs my contacts with my neighbor or my attending to various matters. Nothing is capable of interrupting my ecstasy, nor can anyone suspect it, because I have asked God to protect me from detection by people. And, together with this grace, there entered my soul a whole ocean of light, enabling me to understand God and myself. Amazement overwhelms me entirely and leads me as if into a new ecstasy [aroused by the fact] that God has deigned to descend to me, who am so little.


+ At three o'clock, I prayed prostrate, in the form of a cross, for the whole world. Jesus' mortal life was coming to an end. I heard His seven words; then He looked at me and said, Beloved daughter of My Heart, you are My solace amidst terrible torments.


Jesus is commanding me to make a novena before the Feast of Mercy, and today I am to begin it for the conversion of the whole world and for the recognition of The Divine Mercy... so that every soul will praise My goodness. I desire trust from My creatures. Encourage souls to place great trust in My fathomless mercy. Let the weak, sinful soul have no fear to approach Me, for even if it had more sins than there are grains of sand in the world, all would be drowned in the unmeasurable depths of My mercy.


When Jesus had given up His last breath, my soul dissolved from the pain, and for a long time I could not come to myself. I found some relief in tears. The One whom my heart had come to love has died. Will anyone understand my grief?


In the evening, over the radio, I heard hymns; that is, psalms, sung by priests. [185] I burst into tears, and all of the pain was renewed in my soul, and I wept sorrowfully, unable to find appeasement in this pain. Then I heard a voice in my soul: Do not cry; I am not suffering any more. And for the faithfulness with which you accompanied Me in My sufferings and death, your own death will be a solemn one, and I will accompany you in that last hour. Beloved pearl of My Heart, I see your love so pure, purer than that of the angels, and all the more so because you keep fighting. For your sake I bless the world. I see your efforts to please Me, and they delight My Heart.

After these words, I wept no more, but thanked the heavenly Father for having sent us His Son and for the work of the Redemption of mankind.


+ I made an hour of adoration in thanksgiving for the graces which had been granted me and for my illness. Illness also is a great grace. I have been ill for four months, but I do not recall having wasted so much as a minute of it. All has been for God and souls; I want to be faithful to Him everywhere.

During this adoration, I realized the utter care and goodness that Jesus has been lavishing upon me and the protection He has given me against all evil. I thank You especially, Jesus, for visiting me in my solitude, and I thank You also for inspiring my superiors to send me for this treatment. Give them, Jesus, the omnipotence of Your blessing and compensate them for all the losses incurred because of me.


Today, Jesus is bidding me to comfort and reassure a certain soul who has opened herself to me and told me about her difficulties. This soul is pleasing to the Lord, but she is not aware of it. God is keeping her in deep humility. I have carried out the Lord's directives.


+ O my most sweet Master, good Jesus, I give You my heart. You shape and mold it after Your liking. O fathomless love, I open the calyx of my heart to You, like a rosebud to the freshness of dew. To You alone, my Betrothed, is known the fragrance of the flower of my heart. Let the fragrance of my sacrifice be pleasing to You. O Immortal God, my everlasting delight, already here on earth You are my heaven. May every beat of my heart be a new hymn of praise to You, O Holy Trinity! Had I as many hearts as there are drops of water in the ocean or grains of sand in the whole world, I would offer them all to You, O my Love, O Treasure of my heart! Whomever I shall meet in my life, no matter who they may be, I want to draw them all to love You, O my Jesus, my Beauty, my Repose, my sole Master, Judge, Savior and Spouse, all in one; I know that one title will modify the other-I have entrusted everything to Your mercy.


+ My Jesus, support me when difficult and stormy days come, days of testing, days of ordeal, when suffering and fatigue begin to oppress my body and my soul. Sustain me, Jesus, and give me strength to bear suffering. Set a guard upon my lips that they may address no word of complaint to creatures. Your most merciful Heart is all my hope. I have nothing for my defense but only Your mercy; in it lies all my trust.


March 27, 1937. Today, I returned from Pradnik, after nearly four months of treatment. For everything, I give great thanks to God. I have made use of every moment to glorify God. When I went into the chapel for a moment, I realized how much I would have to suffer and struggle, with regard to this whole matter. O Jesus, my strength, You alone can help me; grant me fortitude.


March 28. Resurrection. During the Mass of Resurrection, I saw the Lord in beauty and splendor, and He said to me, My daughter, peace be with you. He blessed me and disappeared, and my soul was filled with gladness and joy beyond words. My heart was fortified for struggle and sufferings.


Today, I had a conversation with Father [Andrasz] and he recommended great caution in the matter of these sudden appearances of the Lord Jesus. When he was speaking about divine mercy, some sort of strength and power entered my heart. My God, I want so much to express everything and am so very unable to do so. Father tells me that the Lord Jesus is very generous in communicating himself to souls and, on the other hand, He is, so to speak, stingy. "Although God's generosity is very great," said Father, "be careful anyway, because these sudden appearances arouse suspicion; although, personally, I do not see anything wrong here, or anything contrary to faith. Be a little more careful, and when Mother Superior comes, you can talk to her about these things."


March 29, 1937. During meditation today, I saw the Lord in great beauty, and He said to me, Peace be to you, My daughter. My whole soul trembled with love for Him and I said, "O Lord, although I love You with all my heart, please do not appear to me, because my spiritual director has told me that these sudden appearances of Yours arouse the suspicion that You could be an illusion. And although I love You more than my own life, and I know that You are my Lord and God, who are communing with me, I must above all be obedient to my confessor."

Jesus listened to my words with gravity and kindness and spoke these words to me: Tell your confessor that I commune with your soul in such an intimate manner because you do not steal My gifts, and this is why I pour all these graces upon your soul, because I know that you will not hoard them for yourself. But as a sign that his prudence is agreeable to Me, you shall not see Me, and I will not appear to you in this way until you have given him an account of what I have just said.


+ April 2, 1937. In the morning, during Mass, I heard these words: Tell the superior that I want adoration to take place here for the intention of imploring mercy for the world.


O my Jesus, You alone know what my heart is going through. O my Strength, You can do all things, and though I expose myself to great sufferings, I shall always remain faithful to You because I am sustained by Your singular grace.


+ April 3, 1937. Today, the Lord said to me, Tell the Reverend Professor [probably Father Theodore [186] ] that I desire that on the Feast of My Mercy he deliver a sermon about My fathomless mercy. I fulfilled God's wish, but the priest did not want to acknowledge the Lord's message. When I left the confessional, I heard these words: Do as I tell you and be at peace; this matter is between him and Me. You will not be held responsible for this.


April 4, 1937. Low Sunday; that is, the Feast of Mercy. In the morning, after Holy Communion, my soul was immersed in the Godhead. I was united to the Three Divine Persons in such a way that when I was united to Jesus, I was simultaneously united to the Father and to the Holy Spirit. My soul was flooded with joy beyond understanding, and the Lord gave me to experience the whole ocean and abyss of His fathomless mercy. Oh, if only souls would want to understand how much God loves them! All comparisons, even if they were the most tender and the most vehement, are but a mere shadow when set against the reality.

When I was united to the Lord, I came to know how many souls are glorifying God's mercy.


When I went for adoration, I heard these words: My beloved daughter, write down these words, that today My Heart has rested in this convent [the Cracow house]. Tell the world about My mercy and My love.

The flames of mercy are burning me. I desire to pour them out upon human souls. Oh, what pain they cause Me when they do not want to accept them!

My daughter, do whatever is within your power to spread devotion to My mercy. I will make up for what you lack. Tell aching mankind to snuggle close to My merciful Heart, and I will fill it -with peace.

Tell [all people], My daughter, that I am Love and Mercy itself. When a soul approaches Me with trust, I fill it with such an abundance of graces that it cannot contain them within itself, but radiates them to other souls.


Souls who spread the honor of My mercy I shield through their entire lives as a tender mother her infant, and at the hour of death I will not be a Judge for them, but the Merciful Savior. At that last hour, a soul has nothing with which to defend itself except My mercy. Happy is the soul that during its lifetime immersed itself in the Fountain of Mercy, because justice will have no hold on it.


Write this: Everything that exists is enclosed in the bowels of My mercy, more deeply than an infant in its mother's womb. How painfully distrust of My goodness wounds Me! Sins of distrust wound Me most painfully.


During Holy Mass, the Directress of Novices [Sister Callista [187] ] played a beautiful hymn about the mercy of God. I then asked the Lord to give her a deeper knowledge of the abyss of this inconceivable mercy.


+ When I was saying good night to the Lord before retiring, I heard the words, Host, dear to My Heart, for your sake I bless the earth.


April 7, 1937. Today, when a certain person entered the chapel, I felt a terrible pain in my hands, my feet and my side, just as Jesus did during His Passion. This lasted only for a brief moment. But in this way I recognized a soul who was not in God's grace.


On one occasion I saw the Holy Father reflecting about this matter [presumably the establishment of the Feast of The Divine Mercy].


April 10, 1937. Today, Mother Superior gave me an article about The Divine Mercy to read, and with it there was also a reproduction of the image that had been painted. The article appeared in the Vilnius Weekly [188] and was sent to us in Cracow by Father Michael Sopocko, that zealous apostle of The Divine Mercy. In this article are included words that the Lord Jesus has spoken to me, some of them quoted verbatim.


When I took the issue of the Weekly into my hands, an arrow of love pierced my soul. - For the sake of your ardent desires, I am hastening the Feast of Mercy. My spirit burst into such a powerful flame of love that it seemed to me that I was totally dissolved in God.


+ That beautiful soul who is spreading this work of divine mercy throughout the world is, by his deep humility, very pleasing to God.


Before every major grace, my soul undergoes a test of patience, for I feel the grace, but do not yet possess it. My spirit burns with impatience, but the hour has not yet come. These moments are so very extraordinary that it is difficult to describe them.


April 13, 1937. Today I must stay in bed all day. I had a violent fit of coughing, which left me so weak that I have no strength to walk. My spirit is eager to do God's work, but physical strength has left me. I cannot penetrate Your actions at this moment, O Lord; therefore, I keep repeating with a loving act of the will: do with me as You please.


Although the temptations are strong, a whole wave of doubts beats against my soul, and discouragement stands by, ready to enter into the act, the Lord, however, strengthens my will, against which all the attempts of the enemy are shattered as if against a rock. I see how many actual graces God grants me; these support me ceaselessly. I am very weak, and I attribute everything solely to the grace of God.


+ When one day I resolved to practice a certain virtue, I lapsed into the vice opposed to that virtue ten times more frequently than on other days. In the evening, I was reflecting on why, today, I had lapsed so extraordinarily, and I heard the words: You were counting too much on yourself and too little on Me. And I understood the cause of my lapses.


Sudden return of health.

After I had written a letter to Father Sopocko on Sunday, April 11, I suddenly became so very ill that I did not send that letter, but waited for a clear sign of God's will. However, my health got so bad that I had to go to bed. The coughing racked me so much that it seemed to me that, if this repeats a few more times, it will surely be the end of me.


On April 14, I felt so bad that I barely managed to get up to assist at Holy Mass. I felt much worse than I did at the time they sent me for treatment. There was wheezing, and there were rattling noises in my lungs and strange pains. When I received Holy Communion, I don't know why, but it was as if something were urging me to this prayer, and I began to pray in this manner: "Jesus, may Your pure and healthy blood circulate in my ailing organism, and may Your pure and healthy body transform my weak body, and may a healthy and vigorous life throb within me, if it is truly Your holy will that I should set about the work in question; and this will be a clear sign of Your holy will for me."

As I was praying in this way, I suddenly felt as if something were jolting my whole organism and, in an instant, I felt completely well. My breath is clear, as if there had never been anything the matter with my lungs, and I feel no pain, and this is a sign for me that I should set about the work.


And this happened on the last day of my novena to the Holy Spirit. After this return to health, I found myself united with the Lord Jesus in a purely spiritual way. Jesus gave me strong assurances; that is, He confirmed me in respect to His demands. I remained close to the Lord Jesus all that day and talked with Him about the details concerning that congregation.

Jesus infused my soul with power and courage to act. Now I understand that if the Lord demands something of a soul, He gives it the means to carry it out, and through grace He makes it capable of doing this. So, even if the soul be utterly miserable, at the Lord's command it can undertake things beyond its expectation, because this is the sign by which it can be known that the Lord is with that soul: if God's power and strength, which make the soul courageous and valiant, is manifest within it. As for myself, I am always at first a bit frightened at the Lord's greatness, but afterwards my soul is filled with profound peace which nothing can disturb, as well as an inner strength to do what the Lord is demanding at that particular moment....


Then I heard these words: Go tell the superior that you are in good health.

I neither know, nor ask how long I will remain in good health. I only know that I am enjoying good health at present. The future does not belong to me. I asked for this health as evidence of God's will and not in order to seek relief from my suffering.


April 16, 1937. Today, as God's Majesty swept over me, my soul understood that the Lord, so very great though He is, delights in humble souls. The more a soul humbles itself, the greater the kindness with which the Lord approaches it. Uniting himself closely with it, He raises it to His very throne. Happy is the soul whom the Lord himself defends. I have come to know that only love is of any value; love is greatness; nothing, no works, can compare with a single act of pure love of God.


+ O Jesus, shield me with Your mercy and also judge me leniently, or else Your justice may rightly damn me.


April 17. Today, during a catechetical lecture [by Father Theodore [189] ], I was given a confirmation of what I had understood interiorly and lived by for quite some time; namely, that if a soul loves God sincerely and is intimately united with Him, then, even though such it soul may be living in the midst of difficult external circumstances, nothing can disturb its interior life; and in the midst of corruption, it can remain pure and unsullied; because the great love of God gives it strength for battle, and God also protects in a special way, even in a miraculous way, a soul that loves Him sincerely.


When, one day, God gave me the inner knowledge that I had never lost my innocence, and that despite all dangers in which I had found myself, He himself had been guarding me so that the virginity of my soul and heart would remain intact, I spent the day in fervent interior thanksgiving. I thanked God that He had bee pleased to protect me from evil, and also for this: that I had found favor in His eyes, that He himself had given me assurance of this.


And a few years later, He deigned to confirm me in this grace, and since that time I have not experienced the rebellion of the senses against the soul. I have written this down in greater detail elsewhere in my diary [cf. paragraph no. 40]. As often as I recall this inconceivable grace, a fresh flame of love and gratitude to God bursts forth from my heart; and this same love leads me to complete forgetfulness of self.


Since that time, I have been living under the virginal ', cloak of the Mother of God. She has been guarding me and instructing me. I am quite at peace, close to Her Immaculate Heart. Because I am so weak and inexperienced, I nestle like a little child close to Her heart.


Although God has confirmed me in this virtue, I am, however, constantly on the watch and fear even my own shadow, but this only because I have come to love God intensely.


This grace from God was given to me precisely because I was the weakest of all people; this is why the Almighty has surrounded me with His special mercy.


April 24. I can sense every major grace in advance; a strange longing and desire for God comes over me, and then I wait for the grace. And the greater the grace, the more distinct is the presentiment, and the fiercer is my struggle with the adversary of my salvation.

My soul is sometimes in such a condition that I can only describe it by means of a comparison: there are two great friends, and one of them is giving a great feast and has invited the other; both of them are looking forward to it; but the hour of the feast has been set. Well, the moments just before receiving the grace are so violent that it is difficult to describe them. They are marked by painful longing and the fire of love. I can feel the Lord is there, but I cannot be completely absorbed in Him, because the hour has been designated. Often, before such a moment of grace, I am utterly destitute in mind, will and heart. I am left all alone, and I wait for the One God. He himself effects this in me before His coming. April 23, 1937. I have begun a three-day retreat today. [190]



Notebook I          1-50 †  51-100  †  101-150  †  151-200  †  201-250  †  251-300 † 301-350  †  351-400  †  401-450  †  451-500  †  501-521 †  

Notebook II         522-600 †  601-650  †  651-700  †  701-750  †  751-800  †  801-850 †  851-900  †  901-950  †  951-1000  †  

Notebook III      1001-1050 †  1051-1100  †  1101-1150  †  1151-1200  †  1201-1230  †  

Notebook IV       1231-1321 †  

Notebook V        1322-1400 †  1401-1450  †  1451-1500  †  1501-1550  †  1551-1589  †  

Notebook VI      1590-1650 †  1651-1700  †  1701-1750  †  1751-1803  †  

Preparation for Holy Communion                1804-1828 †  


Diary, St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.

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