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Divine Mercy in my Soul PDF File     A. Diary       BM. Diary (part)

Notebook I          1-50 †  51-100  †  101-150  †  151-200  †  201-250  †  251-300 † 301-350  †  351-400  †  401-450  †  451-500  †  501-521 †  

Notebook II         522-600 †  601-650  †  651-700  †  701-750  †  751-800  †  801-850 †  851-900  †  901-950  †  951-1000  †  

Notebook III      1001-1050 †  1051-1100  †  1101-1150  †  1151-1200  †  1201-1230  †  

Notebook IV       1231-1321 †  

Notebook V        1322-1400 †  1401-1450  †  1451-1500  †  1501-1550  †  1551-1589  †  

Notebook VI      1590-1650 †  1651-1700  †  1701-1750  †  1751-1803  †  

Preparation for Holy Communion                1804-1828 †  



Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul (Notebook II:  522 – 1000)

Notebook 2


+The mercy of the Lord I will sing forever,
Before all the people will I sing it,
For it is God's greatest attribute
And for us an unending miracle.

You gush forth from the Divine Trinity,
But from one single womb filled with love.
The mercy of the Lord will be revealed in the soul
In all its fullness, when the veil falls.

From the fountain of Your mercy, O Lord,
Flows all happiness and life,
And thus, all creatures and the whole of creation
Sing out in ecstasy a song of mercy.

The bowels of God's mercy are opened for us
Through the life of Jesus, stretched on the Cross.
O sinner, you must not doubt or despair,
But trust in mercy, for you also can become holy.

Two streams in the form of rays
Have gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus,
Not for Angels, nor Cherubim, nor Seraphim,
But for the salvation of sinful man.


O will of God, be my love. My Jesus, You know that of myself I would not have written a single letter, and if I do write, it is only because of a clear command of holy obedience.

God and Souls

S. M. Faustina
of the Blessed Sacrament [105]


+ O Jesus, hidden God,
My heart perceives You
Though veils hide You;
You know that I love you.

+ Vilnius, November 24, 1935.
J.M.J. + Notebook
Two Blessed Be God!


O Holy Trinity, in whom is contained the inner life of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, eternal joy, inconceivable depth of love, poured out upon all creatures and constituting their happiness, honor and glory be to Your holy name forever and ever. Amen.

When I consider Your greatness and beauty, O my God, I rejoice exceedingly that the Lord I serve is so great. With love and joy I carry out His will, and the more I come to know Him, the more I desire to love Him. I burn with the desire to love Him ever more and more.


+ The 14th. This Thursday, when we were having nocturnal adoration, at first I could not pray; a sort of dryness engulfed me. I could not meditate on Jesus' sorrowful Passion. So I lay prostrate and offered the most sorrowful Passion of the Lord Jesus to the heavenly Father in reparation for the sins of all the world. When I got to my feet after this prayer and walked to my kneeler, I suddenly saw Jesus next to it. The Lord Jesus appeared as He was during the scourging. In His hands He was holding a white garment with which He clothed me and a cord with which He girded me, and He covered me with a red cloak like the one He was clothed with during His Passion and a veil of the same color, and He said to me, This is how you and your companions are going to be clothed. My life from birth to death on the Cross will be the rule for you. Fix your eyes upon Me and live according to what you see. I desire that you penetrate into My spirit more deeply and understand that I am meek and humble of heart.


On one occasion, I felt an urge to set to work and fulfill whatever God is demanding of me. I entered the chapel for a moment and heard a voice in my soul saying, Why are you afraid? Do you think that I will not have enough omnipotence to support you? At that moment, my soul felt extraordinary strength, and all the adversities that could befall me in carrying out God's will seemed as nothing to me.


On Friday during Mass when my soul was flooded with God's happiness, I heard these words in my soul: My mercy has passed into souls through the divine-human Heart of Jesus as a ray from the sun passes through crystal. I felt in my heart and understood that every approach to God is brought about by Jesus, in Him and through Him.


On the evening of the last day [November 15] of the novena at Ostra Brama, after the singing of the litany, one of the priests exposed the Blessed Sacrament in the monstrance. When he placed it on the altar, I immediately saw the Infant Jesus, stretching out His little arms, first of all toward His Mother, who at that time had taken on a living appearance. When the Mother of God was speaking to me, Jesus stretched out His tiny hands toward the congregation. The Blessed Mother was telling me to accept all that God asked of me like a little child, without questioning; otherwise it would not be pleasing to God. At that moment, the Infant Jesus vanished, and the Mother of God was again lifeless, and Her picture was the same as it had been before. But my soul was filled with great joy and gladness, and I said to the Lord, "Do with me as You please; I am ready for everything, but You, O Lord, must not abandon me even for a moment."

+ J. M. J.


To the Glory of the Holy Trinity.

I asked Mother Superior [Borgia] to permit me to make a forty-day fast, taking once a day a piece of bread and a glass of water. However, following the advice of my confessor [Father Sopocko], Mother Superior did not agree to forty days, but to seven. "I cannot take you away from your duties completely, Sister, because of the other sisters who might notice something. I give you my permission to devote yourself to prayer and to note down some of these things, but it will be very difficult for me to protect you as regards the fasting. Really, I can think of no solution to this," and she said, "Go now, Sister, and perhaps some light will come to me." On Sunday morning, I understood that when Mother Superior assigned me as portress during mealtime, she was doing so with the thought of giving me the opportunity to fast. In the morning, I did not go to breakfast, but, a little while later, I went to Mother Superior and asked her whether I had been assigned as portress in view of making it possible for me to fast unnoticed. Mother replied, "When I assigned you, [106] Sister, it was with this in mind." I then saw that this was the same thought that I had had interiorly.


November 24, 1935. Sunday, first day. I went at once before the Blessed Sacrament and offered myself with Jesus, present in the Most Holy Sacrament, to the Everlasting Father. Then I heard these words in my soul: Your purpose and that of your companions is to unite yourselves with Me as closely as possible; through love You will reconcile earth with heaven, you will soften the just anger of God, and you will plead for mercy for the world. I place in your care two pearls very precious to My Heart: these are the souls of priests and religious. You will pray particularly for them; their power will come from your diminishment. You will join prayers, fasts, mortifications, labors and all sufferings to My prayer, fasting, mortification, labors and sufferings and then they will have power before My Father.


After Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus, who said these words to me: Today, penetrate into the spirit of My poverty and arrange everything in such a way that the most destitute will have no reason to envy you. I find pleasure, not in large buildings and magnificent structures, but in a pure and humble heart.


When I was by myself, I began to reflect on the spirit of poverty. I clearly saw that Jesus, although He is Lord of all things, possessed nothing. From a borrowed manger He went through life doing good to all, but himself having no place to lay His head. And on the Cross, I see the summit of His poverty, for He does not even have a garment on himself. O Jesus, through a solemn vow of poverty I desire to become like You; poverty will be my mother. As exteriorly we should possess nothing and have nothing to dispose of as our own; so interiorly we should desire nothing. And in the Most Blessed Sacrament, how great is Your poverty! Has there ever been a soul as abandoned as You were on the Cross, Jesus?


Chastity. There is no need to explain that this vow forbids all those things prohibited by the sixth and ninth commandments: deeds, thoughts, words, feelings... I understand that a solemn vow differs from a simple vow; I understand this in all its implications. While reflecting upon this, I heard these words in my soul:You are My spouse forever; your chastity should be greater than that of the Angels, for I call no angel to such intimacy as I do you. The smallest act of My spouse is of infinite value. A pure soul has inconceivable power before God.


Obedience. I have come to do My Father's will. I obeyed My parents, I obeyed My tormentors and now I obey the priests. I understand, O Jesus, the spirit of obedience and in what it consists. It includes not only external performance, but also the reason, the will and judgment. Obeying our superiors, we obey God. It makes no difference whether it is an angel or a man who, acting in God's stead, gives me orders; I must always obey. I am not going to write much about the vows; they are clear and specific. I will rather put down a few general thoughts about this congregation.

+ General Summary.


There will never be any splendid houses, but only a small church with a small community consisting of a few souls, not more than ten, plus two externs to look after the external affairs of the community and the church. These two sisters will not wear the habit, but secular dress; they will take simple vows, and they will depend strictly on the superior who will be cloistered. They will share in all the spiritual benefits of the congregation. There must never be more than two and, preferably, only one. Each house will be independent of the others, although they will be closely united by the rule, the vows and the spirit. In exceptional cases, however, a sister from one community may be tranferred to another and also, if there is question of founding a new house, some sisters may be transferred, if need be, from another house. Each house will depend on the local ordinary.


Each sister will have a separate cell, but life will be communal as regards prayer, meals and recreation. Each nun, after her profession, will no longer see the world, even through a grill, as this will be covered with a dark cloth, and even the conversations will be strictly limited. She will be as if dead, not understood by the world and not understanding the world. She is to stand between heaven and earth, begging God constantly for mercy on the world and that priests be empowered so that their words be not empty and that they, in their extraordinary dignity and so exposed to risks, might keep themselves completely stainless. Though these souls will not be numerous, they will be heroic souls. There will be no room for cowardly or effeminate souls.


There will be no distinction between the sisters, no mothers,[107] no reverends, no venerables, but all will be equal, even though there might be great differences in their parentage. We know who Jesus was, and yet how He humbled himself and with whom He associated. Their habit will be like that worn by Jesus during His Passion, and they will not simply wear the robe [He wore]; they must also seal themselves with the marks He bore: suffering and scorn. Each one will strive for the greatest self-denial and have a love of humility, and she who will distinguish herself most in this latter virtue will be the one who is capable of leading the others.


As God has made us sharers in His mercy and even more than that, dispensers of that mercy, we should therefore have great love for each soul, beginning with the elect and ending with the soul that does not yet know God. By prayer and mortification, we will make our way to the most uncivilized countries, paving the way for the missionaries. We will bear in mind that a soldier on the front line cannot hold out long without support from the rear forces that do not actually take part in the fighting but provide for all his needs; and that such is the role of prayer, and that therefore each one of us is to be distinguished by an apostolic spirit.


In the evening when I was writing, I heard a voice in my cell which said, "Do not leave this Congregation; have mercy upon yourself, such great sufferings are in store for you." When I looked in the direction of the voice, I saw nothing, and I continued to write. Suddenly I heard a noise and the words: "When you leave, we will destroy you. Do not torture us." I glanced around and saw many ugly monsters. So I mentally made the sign of the Cross and they disappeared immediately. How terribly ugly Satan is! The poor damned souls that have to keep him company! Just the sight of him is more disgusting than all the torments of hell.


A short time later, I heard this voice in my soul: Do not fear anything; nothing will happen to you against My will. After these words of the Lord, a strange power entered my soul. I rejoiced greatly that God is so good.


Postulancy. [108] Age of admission: any person between the ages of fifteen and thirty. Firstly, the spirit with which the candidate is imbued and her character are to be taken into consideration, whether she has a strong will and the courage to follow in Jesus' footsteps with joy and gladness, as God loves a cheerful giver. She must despise the world and herself. The lack of a dowry will never be an obstacle to admission. All formalities concerning the candidate must be clear; no complicated cases should be admitted.

Melancholy persons, those disposed to sadness, those suffering from contagious diseases, those of an unstable character and those who are inclined to be suspicious of others are not adaptable to the religious life and must not be admitted. Members should be selected with greatest care, as one ill-fitting member is enough to throw the whole convent into confusion.


The duration of the postulancy. The postulancy will last one year. During this time, the candidate should examine whether she is attracted to this type of life and whether it is suitable to her. The directress should also diligently consider whether or not the person in question is suitable for this type of life. After a year, if the postulant shows evidence of a stable will and an earnest desire to serve God, she should be admitted to the novitiate.


The novitiate [109] is to last one year, without any interruption. At this time the novice should be taught about the virtues relating to the vows and about the importance of the vows. The directress should do her utmost to provide a solid formation. Let her train the novices in the practice of humility, because only a humble heart keeps the vows easily and experiences the great joys that God pours out upon the faithful soul. The novices should not be burdened with duties that entail responsibilities, so that they may be free to devote themselves to their own perfection. They are obliged to observe the rules and statutes strictly, as are the postulants.


After a year of novitiate, if the novice proves faithful, she may be admitted to make her profession for one year. This is to be repeated for three years. She may then be given duties of responsibility. However, she will still belong to the novitiate, and once a week she must attend conferences together with the novices, and she will spend the last six months entirely in the novitiate in order to prepare well for her solemn profession. [110]


Meals. We will have no meat. Our meals shall be such that not even the poor will have any reason to envy us. Still, feast days may differ slightly from regular days. The sisters will eat three times a day. Fasts, especially the two great ones, will be observed strictly, according to the original spirit. The food should be the same for all the nuns without exception so that communal life may be kept pure. This refers not only to food but to clothing and the furnishing of cells as well. However, if a sister should fall ill, she should receive every consideration.


Prayers. One hour of meditation, Holy Mass and Holy Communion, prayers, two examinations of conscience, office,[111] rosary, spiritual reading, one hour of prayer during the night. As to the horarium, it is better to draw it up after we have begun to live this type of life.


Suddenly I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, I assure you of a permanent income on which you will live. Your duty will be to trust completely in My goodness, and My duty will be to give you all you need. I am making Myself dependent upon your trust: if your trust is great, then My generosity will be without limit.


Work. As poor persons, the nuns themselves will do all the work in the convent. Each one should be glad when she is given some work which is humbling or which goes against her nature, as that will greatly help her interior formation. The superior will often change the sisters' duties, and in this way help them to detach themselves completely from the little details to which women have a great attachment. Truly, I often find it amusing to see with my own eyes souls who have forsaken really great things only to attach themselves to fiddle faddle; that is, trifles. Each sister, including even the superior, shall work in the kitchen for a month. Every one should take a turn at every chore which is to be done in the convent.


And always and in everything, their intention should be pure, for every sort of mixed motive is displeasing to God. They should accuse themselves of all external transgressions, and ask the superior for a penance. They should do this in a spirit of humility.

They should love one another with a sublime love, with a pure love, seeing God's likeness in every sister. Love should be the special characteristic of this little community, so they must not close up their hearts, but embrace the whole world, rendering mercy to every soul through prayer, according to their calling. If we live in this spirit of mercy, we ourselves will obtain mercy.


How great should each one's love for the Church be! As a good child prays for the mother it loves, so also should every Christian soul pray for the Church, its Mother. What then should be said of us religious who have especially committed ourselves to praying for the Church? How great, then, is our apostolate, hidden though it be. All our little daily nothings will be placed at the feet of the Lord Jesus as a propitiatory offering for the world; but in order that our offering may be pleasing to God, it must be pure. And for it to be pure, the heart must be freed of all natural attachments, and all its affections must be directed towards the Creator, loving all creatures in Him and according to His will; and, acting thus, each with a zealous spirit will bring joy to the Church.


In addition to the vows, I see one rule as most important. Although all the rules are important, I put this one in first place, and it is silence. Truly, if this rule were to be observed strictly, I would not worry about the others. Women are very fond of talking, but the Holy Spirit does not speak to a soul that is distracted and garrulous. He speaks by His quiet inspirations to a soul that is recollected, to a soul that knows how to keep silence. If silence were strictly observed, there would not be any grumbling, bitterness, slandering, or gossip, and charity would not be tarnished. In a word, many wrongs would not be done. Silent lips are pure gold and bear witness to holiness within.


But I want to speak immediately of a second rule; that is, speech. Keeping silent when one ought to speak is an imperfection and sometimes even a sin. And so, let all the sisters take part in recreation, and the superior should not dispense them from this except for a matter of great importance. Recreation is an opportunity for getting to know one another. Let each sister speak her mind in all simplicity for the edification of the others and not in a spirit of superiority nor, God forbid, in a quarrelsome manner, for that would not be in keeping with perfection and the spirit of our vocation, which should be especially characterized by love. Twice a day, there will be a recreation of one half hour. But if a sister breaks silence outside that time, she must accuse herself before the superior at once and ask for a penance, and the superior should punish these offenses with public penances, or else she will answer for this before the Lord.


Enclosure. [112] No one may enter the enclosure without the special permission of the Ordinary and under very special circumstances, such as the administration of the Sacraments to the ill in order to prepare them for death, and for the burial rites. There also may be need of letting in a workman to do some repairs, but for this a specific permission will be required. The door to the enclosure will always be locked and only the superior will have the key.


The use of the parlor. None of the sisters will make use of the parlor without special permission of the superior, and the superior should not permit frequent visits. Those who have died to the world should not be going back to it, not even through conversations. But if the superior thinks it right to permit some sister to go to the parlor, let her observe the following directions. She herself should accompany the sister, and if she cannot do so, she should arrange to be replaced by a sister who will be bound to confidence and must not repeat what she has heard, but who is to inform the superior of everything. Conversations ought to be short, unless there is permission for extra time for the sake of the person who has come for the visit. However, the curtain is not to be drawn aside, except for very special cases, as for example when a mother or father urgently asks that this be done.


Letters. Every sister may write sealed letters to the Ordinary to whom the house is subject. For any other letter, permission is required, and the sister shall hand the letter unsealed to the superior. The superior is to be guided by the spirit of love and prudence, and has the right to send or withhold the letter, in the light of whatever is for the greater glory of God. However, I would like very much that such communications be as rare as possible. Let us help people by prayer and mortification, and not by correspondence.


Confession. Both the regular and the extraordinary confessors for the community will be appointed by the Ordinary [Bishop]. [113] There will be one regular confessor, and he will hear the sisters' confessions once a week. The extraordinary confessor will come once every three months, and each sister is obliged to see him, even if she makes no confession. The two confessors will hold their posts in the convent for three years. Then there will be a secret vote, and the superior will submit the results to the Ordinary. The confessor can be re-appointed for an additional three years and even a third three-year term. The sisters will make their confession through a locked grille. The conferences to the community will also be given through a grille, covered with a dark curtain. The sisters will never talk among themselves about confession or the confessors; rather, let them pray for them that God may give them the light to direct their souls.


Holy Communion. The sisters should never talk about who goes more and who goes less frequently to Holy Communion. They should refrain from passing judgment on this subject which does not concern them. All judgments in this matter belong exclusively to the confessor. The superior may speak to a sister, not to inquire why she is not going to Communion, but simply to make confession available to her. The superiors should never dare to enter into the domain of the sisters' consciences. The superior may sometimes arrange that the community offer Communion for a certain intention. Each sister should strive for the greatest purity of soul, so that she might receive the Divine Visitor every day.


On one occasion, when I entered the chapel, I saw the walls of a building in a state of disrepair [a torn down building]. [114] The windows were without panes, and the doors had only frames with no paneling. Then I heard these words in my soul: This is where the convent will be. I was a little disappointed that these ruins were to be the convent.


Thursday. I felt urged to undertake as soon as possible the task which the Lord was asking of me. While making my confession, I was holding to my own opinion over that of the confessor. At first, I did not realize this, but when I was making my Holy Hour I saw the Lord Jesus as He appears in the Image, and He told me that I must repeat to my confessor and my superiors everything He says to me or asks of me... and do only what you receive permission to do. And He gave me to know how displeased He was with persons who are self-willed, and I recognized that I was one of these. I saw this shadow of self-will in myself, and I threw myself in the dust [115] before His Majesty and, with a broken heart, begged His pardon. But Jesus did not let me remain in this state for long. His divine gaze filled my heart with such joy that I have no words to express it. And Jesus gave me to know that I should ask Him more questions and seek His advice. Truly, how sweet is the look of my Lord; His eyes penetrate my soul to its most secret depths. My spirit communicates with God without any word being spoken. I am aware that He is living in me and I in Him.


All at once, I saw the image in some small chapel and at that moment I saw that the chapel became an enormous and beautiful temple. And in this temple I saw the Mother of God with the Infant in Her arms. And a moment later, the Infant Jesus disappeared from the arms of His Mother, and I saw the living image of Jesus Crucified. The Mother of God told me to do what She had done, that, even when joyful, I should always keep my eyes fixed on the cross, and She told me that the graces God was granting me were not for me alone, but for other souls as well.


When I see the Infant Jesus during Holy Mass, it is not always the same: sometimes He is very joyous, and sometimes He is not even looking at the chapel. At present, He is often very joyful when our confessor [Father Sopocko] offers Holy Mass. I was greatly surprised that the Infant Jesus loves him so much. Sometimes I see Him dressed in a colorful pinafore. [116]


Before I came to Vilnius and met this confessor, I once saw a rather small church and near it, this congregation. [117] The convent had twelve cells: each nun was to live separately. I saw the priest [Father Sopocko] who was helping me to prepare the convent and whom I was to meet some years later, but whom I already knew from the vision. I saw how he was arranging everything in the convent with great care, assisted by another priest [probably Father Wantuchowski [118]] whom I have not yet met. I saw the iron grating, covered with a dark curtain, and the sisters did not go out to the church.


On the feast day of the Immaculate Conception of the Mother of God, during Holy Mass, I heard the rustling of garments and saw the most holy Mother of God in a most beautiful radiance. Her white garment was girdled with a blue sash. She said to me, You give Me great joy when you adore the Holy Trinity for the graces and privileges which were accorded Me. And She immediately disappeared.

Penances and Mortification.


Interior mortifications take the first place, but besides this, we must practice exterior mortifications, strictly determined, so that all can practice them. These are: on three days a week, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, there will be a strict fast; each Friday, all the sisters - each one in her own cell - will take the discipline [119] for the length of the recitation of Psalm 50, and all will do this at the same time; namely, three o'clock; and this will be offered for dying sinners. During the two great fasts, [120] ember days [121] and vigils, [122] the food will consists of a piece of bread and some water, once a day.

Let each sister try to observe these mortifications which are prescribed for all. But if anyone desires to do something more, she should ask the superior for permission. One more general mortification: no sister is allowed to enter the cell of another without special permission from the superior, but the superior should sometimes unexpectedly enter the cells of the sisters, not in order to spy, but in the spirit of love and the responsibility which she has before God. None of the sisters will lock anything; the rule will be the general key for all.


One day, after Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the Infant Jesus standing by my kneeler and holding on to it with His two little hands. Although He was but a little Child, my soul was filled with awe and fear, for I see in Him my Judge, my Lord, and my Creator, before whose holiness the Angels tremble. At the same time, my soul was flooded with such unspeakable love that I thought I would die under its influence. I now see that Jesus first strengthens my soul and makes it capable of abiding with Him, for otherwise I would not be able to bear what I experience at such a moment.

Relationship of Sisters with the Superior.


All the sisters should respect the superior as the Lord Jesus himself, as I mentioned when speaking about the vow of obedience. They should behave toward her with childlike trust, and should never murmur or find fault with her commands, as this is very displeasing to God. Let each be guided by a spirit of faith in her relationship to superiors; let her ask with simplicity for all that she needs. God forbid that it ever happen or be repeated that any of the sisters would be a cause of sorrow or tears to the superior. Let each one know that as the fourth commandment obliges a child to honor its parents, in like manner is the religious bound to respect her superior. Only a bad religious would take the liberty of judging her superior. Let the sisters be sincere with the superior, telling her about everything and about their needs with childlike simplicity.

The sisters will address the superior thus: "With your leave, Sister Superior." They shall never kiss her hand, but whenever they meet her in the corridor or enter her cell, they should say, "Praised be Jesus Christ," bowing their heads slightly.

They shall address each other as "Sister," adding the proper name. Their relationship toward the superior should be marked by a spirit of faith and not by sentimentality or flattery, as these are unworthy of a religious and would degrade her very much. A religious should be as free as a queen, and will be such only when she lives in the spirit of faith. We should obey and respect the superior, not because she is good, holy or prudent, but solely because she represents God, and by obeying her we are obeying God himself.

Relationship of the Superior to the Sisters.


The superior should be distinguished by humility and love toward each sister without exception. She must not let herself be led by likes and dislikes, but by the spirit of Christ alone. Let her be aware that God will demand of her an account for each sister. She should not moralize to the sisters, but rather set them an example of profound humility and self-denial; this will be the most efficacious lesson she can give her subjects. She should be firm, but never harsh. She should be patient when bothered with the same questions. Even if she has to give the same answer a hundred times over, she should do so with equanimity. Let her strive to anticipate the sisters' needs rather than wait till they ask for this or that, for people vary in disposition.

If the superior notices that a sister is sad or is suffering, she should try her very best to help and comfort her. She should pray much and ask for light in order to know how to deal with each sister, for each soul is a world of its own. God has various ways of communicating with souls, ways that are often beyond our comprehension and notice. Therefore the superior should be careful not to hinder God's action in a soul. She should never reprimand a sister when irritated; rather, reprimands should always be seasoned with encouragement. The person is to be helped to recognize and acknowledge her error, but she should not be crushed.

The superior should be outstanding for a love for her sisters which shows itself in actions. She should take upon herself all burdens so as to ease the burdens of the sisters. She should not demand any services from them, but should respect them as brides of Jesus and be always ready to serve them, day and night. Let her ask rather than order. Her heart should be open to the sufferings of the sisters, and she herself should look closely at, and learn from, the open book; namely, Jesus Crucified. Let her pray fervently for light, especially when she has some important dealing with a sister. She should be on her guard lest she interfere with the sisters' consciences, for only a priest has this grace. But it may happen that a sister may feel the necessity to pour out her soul to the superior, in which case the superior may listen to this outpouring, but she is bound to secrecy, as nothing hurts a person so much as to have something she has said in confidence or in secret talked about with others. Women usually have weak heads in this respect; it is rarely that one finds a woman with a man's mind. The superior should strive for deep union with God, and God will govern through her. The most holy Mother will be the superioress [123] of the convent, and we shall be Her faithful daughters.


December 15, 1935. From early morning, today, a strange power has been pushing me to action, not giving me a moment's peace. A strange ardor has been lit in my heart, urging me to action, and I cannot stop it. This is a secret martyrdom known only to God, but let Him do with me as He pleases; my heart is ready for anything. O Jesus, my dearest Master, do not abandon me, not even for a moment. Jesus, You know well how weak I am of myself; that is why I know that it is my weakness that forces You to be with me constantly.


On one occasion, I saw Jesus in a bright garment; this was in the greenhouse. [He said to me,] Write what I say to you. My delight is to be united with you. With great desire, I wait and long for the time when I shall take up My residence sacramentally in your convent. My spirit will rest in that convent and I will bless its neighborhood in a special way. Out of love for you all, I will avert any punishments which are rightly meted out by My Father's justice. My daughter, I have inclined My heart to your requests. Your assignment and duty here on earth is to beg for mercy for the whole world. No soul will be justified until it turns with confidence to My mercy, and this is why the first Sunday after Easter is to be the Feast of Mercy. On that day, priests are to tell everyone about My great and unfathomable mercy. I am making you the administrator of My mercy. Tell the confessor that the Image is to be on view in the church and not within the enclosure in that convent. By means of this Image I shall be granting many graces to souls; so let every soul have access to it.


O my Jesus, Eternal Truth, I fear nothing, neither hardships nor sufferings; I fear only one thing, and that is to offend You. My Jesus, I would rather not exist than make You sad. Jesus, You know that my love knows no one but You. My soul is absorbed in You.


Oh, how great should be the ardor of every soul who will live in that convent, since God desires to come and live with us! Let everyone remember that if we religious do not intercede before God, who will? Each of us should burn like a pure sacrifice before the majesty of God, but to be pleasing to God, each one should unite herself closely to Jesus. It is only with Him, in Him and through Him that we can be pleasing to God.


December 21, 1935. One day my confessor [Father Sopocko] told me to go and look at a certain house to see whether it was the same house I had seen in my vision. When I went with my confessor to see that house, or rather those ruins, at a glance I recognized that they were the same as I had seen in my vision. The moment I touched the boards which had been nailed together in place of the doors, a strength pervaded my soul like a flash, giving me unshakable certitude. I went away quickly from that place, my heart full of joy, for it seemed to me that there was a certain force chaining me to that place.

I am very happy to see that everything agrees perfectly with what I saw in the vision. When the confessor spoke to me about the arrangement of the cells and other things, I recognized everything to be the same as had been told to me by Jesus. I am delighted that God is acting in this way through my confessor, but I am not surprised that God is giving him so much light; since God, who is Light itself, lives in a pure and humble heart, and all sufferings and adversities serve but to reveal the soul's holiness. When I returned home, I went immediately to our chapel to rest a while. Then suddenly I heard these words in my soul:
Do not fear anything. I am with you. These matters are in My hands and I will bring them to fruition according to My mercy, for nothing can oppose My will.

Christmas Eve, 1935.


From early morning, my spirit was immersed in God. His presence pervaded my whole being. In the evening, before supper, I went to the chapel for a minute to share the wafer, at the feet of Jesus, with those who are far away and whom Jesus loves greatly and to whom I owe so much. Just as I was spiritually sharing the wafer with a certain person [probably Father Sopocko], I heard these words within me: His heart is for Me a heaven on earth. When I was leaving the chapel, in an instant, God's omnipotence enveloped me. I understood how greatly God loves us. Oh, if people could at least partly comprehend and understand this!

Christmas Day.


Midnight Mass. During Holy Mass, I again saw the little Infant Jesus, extremely beautiful, joyfully stretching out His little arms to me. After Holy Communion, I heard the words: I am always in your heart; not only when you receive Me in Holy Communion, but always. I spent these holydays in great joy.


O Holy Trinity, Eternal God, my spirit is drowned in Your beauty. The ages are as nothing in Your sight. You are always the same. Oh, how great is Your majesty. Jesus, why do You conceal Your majesty, why have You left Your heavenly throne and dwelt among us? The Lord answered me, My daughter, love has brought Me here, and love keeps Me here. My daughter, if you knew what great merit and reward is earned by one act of pure love for Me, you would die of joy. I am saying this that you may constantly unite yourself with Me through love, for this is the goal of the life of your soul. This act is an act of the will. Know that a pure soul is humble. When you lower and empty yourself before My majesty, I then pursue you with My graces and make use of My omnipotence to exalt you.


Once, when my confessor told me to say "Glory be to the Father" as my penance, it took me a very long time; and I began many times, but did not finish, because my spirit became united with God, and I could not stick to the prayer. Quite frequently, I am unwittingly enveloped by God's omnipotence and become entirely plunged in Him through love, and then I do not know what is going on around me. When I told my confessor that this short prayer often takes very much of my time and that sometimes I cannot even finish it, he told me to say it right away, there, at the confessional. However, my spirit became immersed in God and, in spite of my efforts, I could not think as I wished. And so the confessor said, "Please repeat after me." I repeated every word, but while I was pronouncing each word, my spirit would be steeped in the Person I was naming.


On one occasion, Jesus told me, concerning a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko], that these present years would be the adornment of his priestly life. The days of suffering always seem longer, but they too will pass, though they pass so slowly that it seems they are moving backwards. However, their end is near, and then will come endless and inconceivable joy. Eternity! Who can understand this one word which comes from You, O incomprehensible God, this one word: eternity!


I know that the graces given me by God are often meant exclusively for certain souls. Awareness of this fills me with great joy; I always rejoice at the good of other souls as if it were my own.


On a certain occasion, the Lord said to me, I am more deeply wounded by the small imperfections of chosen souls than by the sins of those living in the world. It made me very sad that chosen souls make Jesus suffer, and Jesus told me, These little imperfections are not all. I will reveal to you a secret of My Heart: what I suffer from chosen souls. Ingratitude in return for so many graces is My Heart's constant food, on the part of [such] a chosen soul. Their love is lukewarm, and My Heart cannot bear it; these souls force Me to reject them. Others distrust My goodness and have no desire to experience that sweet intimacy in their own hearts, but go in search of Me, off in the distance, and do not find Me. This distrust of My goodness hurts Me very much. If My death has not convinced you of My love, what will? Often a soul wounds Me mortally, and then no one can comfort Me. They use My graces to offend Me. There are souls who despise My graces as well as all the proofs of My love. They do not wish to hear My call, but proceed into the abyss of hell. The loss of these souls plunges Me into deadly sorrow. God though I am, I cannot help such a soul because it scorns Me; having a free will, it can spurn Me or love Me. You, who are the dispenser of My mercy, tell all the world about My goodness, and thus you will comfort My Heart.


I will tell you most when you converse with Me in the depths of your heart. Here, no one can disturb My actions. Here, I rest as in a garden enclosed.


The interior of my soul is like a large and magnificent world in which God and I live. Except for God, no one is allowed there. At the beginning of this life with God, I was dazzled and overcome with awe. His radiance blinded me, and I thought He was not in my heart; and yet those were the moments when God was working in my soul. Love was becoming purer and stronger, and the Lord brought my will into the closest union with His own holy Will. No one will understand what I experience in that splendid palace of my soul where I abide constantly with my Beloved. No exterior thing hinders my union with God. Even if I used the most forceful words, they would not express even a shadow of how my soul revels in happiness and inexplicable love, as great and pure as the spring from which it flows; that is, God himself. My spirit is so prevaded with God that I feel it physically, and the body partakes of these joys. Although it happens that God's touches vary in the same soul, they come, however, from the same source.


On one occasion, I saw Jesus thirsting and fainting, and He said to me, I thirst. When I gave Him water, He took it, but did not drink and immediately disappeared. He was clothed as He was during His Passion.


When you reflect upon what I tell you in the depths of your heart, you profit more than if you had read many books. Oh, if souls would only want to listen to My voice when I am speaking in the depths of their hearts, they would reach the peak of holiness in a short time.


January 8, 1936. When I went to see the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski], I told him that Jesus was asking that I pray for God's mercy upon the world and that there be a religious congregation which would entreat the mercy of God for the world. I asked his permission for all the Lord Jesus was demanding of me. The Arch bishop answered me in these words: "As for prayer, I give my permission and even encourage you, Sister, to pray as much as possible for the world and to beg God's mercy, as mercy is what we all need; and I presume that your confessor certainly does not forbid you to pray for this intention. But as regards this congregation, wait a while, Sister, so that all things may arrange themselves more favorably. This thing is good in itself, but there is no need to hurry. If it is God's will, it will be done, whether it be a little sooner or a little later. Why shouldn't it be? There are so many different kinds of congregations; this one too will come to be if God so wills. Be completely at peace. The Lord Jesus can do all things. Strive for a close union with God and do not lose heart." These words filled me with great joy.


When I left the Archbishop's house, I heard the following words in my soul: To confirm your spirit, I speak through My representatives in accordance with what I demand of you, but know that this will not always be so. They will oppose you in many things, and through this My grace will be manifest in you, and it will be evident that this matter is My doing. But as for you, fear nothing; I am always with you. And know this, too, My daughter: all creatures, whether they know it or not, and whether they want to or not, always fulfill My will.


Once, I suddenly saw Jesus in great majesty, and He spoke these words to me: My daughter, if you wish, I will this instant create a new world, more beautiful than this one, and you will live there for the rest of your life. I answered, "I don't want any worlds. I want You, Jesus. I want to love You, with the same love that You have for me. I beg You for only one thing: to make my heart capable of loving you. I am very much surprised at Your offer, my Jesus; what are those worlds to me? Even if You gave me a thousand of them, what are they to me? You know very well, Jesus, that my heart is dying of longing for You. Everything that is not You is nothing to me." -At that moment, I could no longer see anything, but a strange force took over my soul, a strange fire sprang up in my heart, and I entered into a kind of agony for Him. Then I heard these words: With no other soul do I unite myself as closely and in such a way as I do with you, and this because of the deep humility and ardent love which you have for Me.


On one occasion, I heard these words within me: Every movement of your heart is known to me. Know, My daughter, that one glance of yours directed at someone else would wound Me more than many sins committed by another person.


Love casts out fear. Since I came to love God with my whole being and with all the strength of my heart, fear has left me. Even if I were to hear the most terrifying things about God's justice, I would not fear Him at all, because I have come to know Him well. God is love, and His Spirit is peace. I see now that my deeds which have flowed from love are more perfect than those which I have done out of fear. I have placed my trust in God and fear nothing. I have given myself over to His holy will; let Him do with me as He wishes, and I will still love Him.


When I receive Holy Communion, I entreat and beg the Savior to heal my tongue, that I may never fail in love of neighbor.


Jesus, You know how ardently I desire to hide so that no one may know me but Your sweetest Heart. I want to be a tiny violet, hidden in the grass, unknown in a magnificent enclosed garden in which beautiful lilies and roses grow. The beautiful rose and the lovely lily can be seen from afar, but in order to see a little violet, one has to bend low; only its scent gives it away. Oh, how happy I am to be able to hide myself in this way! O my divine Bridegroom, the flower of my heart and the scent of my pure love are for You. My soul has drowned itself in You, Eternal God. From the moment when You yourself drew me to yourself, O my Jesus, the more I have known You, the more ardently I have desired You.


I learned in the Heart of Jesus that in heaven itself there is a heaven to which not all, but only chosen souls, have access. Incomprehensible is the happiness in which the soul will be immersed. O my God, oh, that I could describe this, even in some little degree. Souls are penetrated by His divinity and pass from brightness to brightness, an unchanging light, but never monotonous, always new though never changing. O Holy Trinity, make yourself known to souls!


O my Jesus, nothing is better for the soul than humiliations. In contempt is the secret of happiness, when the soul recognizes that, of itself, it is only wretchedness and nothingness, and that whatever it possesses of good is a gift of God. When the soul sees that everything is given it freely and that the only thing it has of itself is its own misery, this is what sustains it in a continual act of humble prostration before the majesty of God. And God, seeing the soul in such a disposition, pursues it with His graces. As the soul continues to immerse itself more deeply into the abyss of its nothingness and need, God uses His omnipotence to exalt it. If there is a truly happy soul upon earth, it can only be a truly humble soul. At first, one's self-love suffers greatly on this account, but after a soul has struggled courageously, God grants it much light by which it sees how wretched and full of deception everything is. God alone is in its heart. A humble soul does not trust itself, but places all its confidence in God. God defends the humble soul and lets Himself into its secrets, and the soul abides in unsurpassable happiness which no one can comprehend.


One evening, one of the deceased sisters, who had already visited me a few times, appeared to me. The first time I had seen her, she had been in great suffering, and then gradually these sufferings had diminished; this time she was radiant with happiness, and she told me she was already in heaven. She told me that God had tried our house with tribulation because Mother General [Michael] had given in to doubts, not believing what I had said about this soul. And further, as a sign that she only now was in heaven, God would bless our house. Then she came closer to me, embraced me sincerely and said, "I must go now." I understood how closely the three stages of a soul's life are bound together; that is to say, life on earth, in purgatory and in heaven [the Communion of Saints].


I have noticed many times that God tries certain people on account of those things about which He spoke to me, for mistrust displeases Jesus. Once, when I saw that God had tried a certain Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] because he was opposed to the cause and distrustful of it, I felt sorry for him and pleaded with God for him, and God relieved his suffering. God is very displeased with lack of trust in Him, and this is why some souls lose many graces. Distrust hurts His most sweet Heart, which is full of goodness and incomprehensible love for us. A priest should sometimes be distrustful in order to better ascertain the genuineness of gifts bestowed on a given soul; and when he does so in order to direct the soul to deeper union with God, his will be a great and incomprehensible reward indeed. But there is a great difference between this and disrespect and distrust of divine graces in a soul simply because one cannot comprehend and penetrate these things with one's mind, and this latter is displeasing to the Lord. I greatly pity souls who encounter inexperienced priests.


Once, a certain priest [Father Sopocko [124]] asked me to pray for him. I promised to pray, and asked for a mortification. When I received permission for a certain mortification, I felt a great desire to give up all the graces that God's goodness would intend for me that day in favor of that priest, and I asked the Lord Jesus to deign to bestow on me all the sufferings and afflictions, both exterior and spiritual, that the priest would have had to suffer during that day. God partially answered my request and, at once, all sorts of difficulties and adversities sprang up out of nowhere, so much so that one of the sisters remarked out loud that the Lord Jesus must have a hand in this because everyone was trying Sister Faustina. The charges made were so groundless that what some sisters put forward, others denied, while I offered all this in silence on behalf of the priest.

But that was not all; I began to experience interior sufferings. First, I was seized by depression and aversion towards the sisters, then a kind of uncertainty began to trouble me. I could not recollect myself during prayer, and various things would take hold of my mind. When, tired out, I entered the chapel, a strange pain seized my soul, and I began to weep softly. Then I heard in my soul a voice, saying,
My daughter, why are you weeping? After all, you yourself offered to undertake these sufferings. Know that what you have taken upon yourself for that soul is only a small portion. He is suffering much more. And I asked the Lord, "Why are You treating him like that?" The Lord answered me that it was for the triple crown meant for him: that of virginity, the priesthood and martyrdom. At that moment, a great joy flooded my soul at the sight of the great glory that is going to be his in heaven. Right away I said the Te Deum [125] for this special grace of God; namely, of learning how God treats those He intends to have close to himself. Thus, all sufferings are nothing in comparison with what awaits us in heaven.


One day, after our Mass, I suddenly saw my confessor [Father Sopocko] saying Mass in Saint Michael's Church, in front of the picture of the Mother of God. It was at the time of the Offertory, and I saw the Infant Jesus clinging to him as if fleeing from something and seeking refuge in him. But when the time came for Holy Communion, He disappeared as usual. Suddenly, I saw the Blessed Mother, who shielded him with Her cloak and said, Courage, My son, courage. She said something else which I could not hear.


Oh, how ardently I desire that every soul would praise Your mercy. Happy is the soul that calls upon the mercy of the Lord. It will see that the Lord will defend it as His glory, as He said. And who would dare fight against God? All you souls, praise the Lord's mercy by trusting in His mercy all your life and especially at the hour of your death. And fear nothing, dear soul, whoever you are; the greater the sinner, the greater his right to Your mercy, O Lord. O incomprehensible goodness! God is the first to stoop to the sinner. O Jesus, I wish to glorify Your mercy on behalf of thousands of souls. I know very well, O my Jesus, that I am to keep telling souls about Your goodness, about Your incomprehensible mercy.


On one occasion, after a person had asked me for prayer, when I met the Lord I said to Him, "Jesus, I especially love those souls whom You love." And Jesus answered, And as for Me, I bestow special graces on those souls for whom you intercede.


How wondrously Jesus defends me; truly this is a great grace of God which I have experienced for a long time now.






Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II:  601 – 650 )

Notebook 2


Once, when one of our sisters [126] became fatally ill and all the community [127] was gathered together, there was also a priest [128] there who gave the sister absolution. Suddenly, I saw many spirits of darkness. Then, forgetting that I was with the sisters, I seized the holywater sprinkler and sprinkled the spirits, and they disappeared at once. However, when the sisters came to the refectory, Mother Superior [Borgia] remarked that I should not have sprinkled the sick sister in the presence of the priest, as this was his duty. I accepted the admonition in the spirit of penance, but holy water is indeed of great help to the dying.


My Jesus, You see how weak I am of myself. Therefore, You yourself direct my affairs. And know, Jesus, that without You I will not budge for any cause, but with You I will take on the most difficult things.


January 29, 1936. In the evening, when I was in my cell, I suddenly saw a great light and a dark gray cross high up within the light. Suddenly, I found myself caught up close to the cross. I gazed at it intently, but could not understand anything, and so I prayed, asking what it could mean. At that moment I saw the Lord Jesus, and the cross disappeared. The Lord Jesus was sitting in a great light, and His legs, up to the knees, were drowned in the light so that I could not see them. Jesus bent toward me, looked at me kindly and spoke to me about the will of the Heavenly Father. He told me that the most perfect and holy soul is the one that does the will of the Father, but there are not many such, and that He looks with special love upon the soul who lives His will. And Jesus told me that I was doing the will of God perfectly...and for this reason I am uniting Myself with you and communing with you in a special and intimate way.

God embraces with His incomprehensible love the soul who lives by His will. I understood how much God loves us, how simple He is, though incomprehensible, and how easy it is to commune with Him, despite His great majesty. With no one do I feel as free and as much at ease as with Him. Even a mother and her truly loving child do not understand each other so well as God and I do. When I was in that state of communion with God, I saw two particular persons, and their sad interior condition was revealed to me. They were in a sorrowful state, but I trust that they, too, will glorify the mercy of God.


At the same time, I saw a certain person [Father Sopocko] and, in part, the condition of his soul and the ordeals God was sending him. His sufferings were of the mind and in a form so acute that I pitied him and said to the Lord, "Why do you treat him like that?" And the Lord answered, For the sake of his triple crown. And the Lord also gave me to understand what unimaginable glory awaits the person who resembles the suffering Jesus here on earth. That person will resemble Jesus in His glory. The Heavenly Father will recognize and glorify our soul to the extent that He sees in us a resemblance to His Son. I understood that this assimilation into Jesus is granted to us while we are here on earth. I see pure and innocent souls upon whom God has exercised His justice; these souls are the victims who sustain the world and who fill up what is lacking in the Passion of Jesus. They are not many in number. I rejoice greatly that God has allowed me to know such souls.


O Holy Trinity, Eternal God, I thank You for allowing me to know the greatness and the various degrees of glory to which souls attain. Oh, what a great difference of depth in the knowledge of God there is between one degree and another! Oh, if people could only know this! O my God, if I were thereby able to attain one more degree, I would gladly suffer all the torments of the martyrs put together. Truly, all those torments seem as nothing to me compared with the glory that is awaiting us for all eternity. O Lord, immerse my soul in the ocean of Your divinity and grant me the grace of knowing You; for the better I know You, the more I desire You, and the more my love for You grows. I feel in my soul an unfathomable abyss which only God can fill. I lose myself in Him as a drop does in the ocean. The Lord has inclined himself to my misery like a ray of the sun upon a barren and rocky desert. And yet, under the influence of His rays, my soul has become covered with verdure, flowers, and fruit, and has become a beautiful garden for His repose.


My Jesus, despite Your graces, I see and feel all my misery. I begin my day with battle and end it with battle. As soon as I conquer one obstacle, ten more appear to take its place. But I am not worried, because I know that this is the time of struggle, not peace. When the burden of the battle becomes too much for me, I throw myself like a child into the arms of the heavenly Father and trust I will not perish. O my Jesus, how prone I am to evil, and this forces me to be constantly vigilant. But I do not lose heart. I trust God's grace, which abounds in the worst misery.


In the midst of the worst difficulties and adversities, I do not lose inner peace or exterior balance, and this discourages my adversaries. Patience in adversity gives power to the soul.


February 2, [1936]. In the morning, when the bell awoke me, I was so overcome by drowsiness which I could not shake off that I jumped into cold water, and after two minutes the sleepiness left me. When I came to meditation a host of absurd thoughts swarmed into my head, so much so that I had to struggle throughout the whole meditation. It was the same during prayer time, but when Mass began, a strange silence and joy filled my heart. Just then, I saw Our Lady with the Infant Jesus, and the Holy Old Man [St. Joseph] standing behind them. The most holy Mother said to me, Take My Dearest Treasure, and She handed me the Infant Jesus. When I took the Infant Jesus in my arms, the Mother of God and Saint Joseph disappeared. I was left alone with the Infant Jesus.


I said to Him, "I know that You are my Lord and Creator even though You are so tiny." Jesus stretched His little arms out to me and looked at me with a smile. My spirit was filled with incomparable joy. Then suddenly Jesus disappeared, and it was time for Holy Communion. I went with the other sisters to the Holy Table, my soul deeply moved. After Holy Communion, I heard these words in my soul: I am in your heart, I whom you had in your arms. I then pleaded with Jesus for a certain soul [Father Sopocko], asking the Lord to grant him the grace to fight, and to take this trial from him. As you ask, so shall it be, but his merit will not be lessened. Joy reigned in my soul that God is so good and merciful; God grants everything that we ask of Him with trust.


After each conversation with the Lord, my soul is extraordinarily strengthened, and a profound tranquility prevails therein and gives me such courage that I do not fear anything in the world, but fear only lest I make Jesus sad.


O my Jesus, I implore You by the goodness of Your most sweet Heart, let Your anger diminish and show us Your mercy. May Your wounds be our shield against Your Father's justice. I have come to know You, O God, as the source of mercy that vivifies and nourishes every soul. Oh, how great is the mercy of the Lord; it surpasses all His other qualities! Mercy is the greatest attribute of God; everything that surrounds me speaks to me of this. Mercy is the life of souls; His compassion is inexhaustible. O Lord, look on us and deal with us according to Your countless mercies, according to Your great mercy.


One time, I was in doubt as to whether what had happened to me had seriously offended the Lord Jesus or not. As I could not solve this doubt, I made up my mind not to go to Communion before first going to confession, although I immediately made an act of contrition, as it is my habit to ask for forgiveness after the slightest transgression. During those days when I did not receive Holy Communion, I did not feel the presence of God. This caused me unspeakable pain, but I took it as a punishment for sin. However, at the time of Holy Confession I was reproached for not going to Holy Communion, because what had happened to me was not an obstacle to receiving Holy Communion. After confession, I received Holy Communion, and I saw the Lord Jesus who said to me, Know, My daughter, that you caused Me more sorrow by not uniting yourself with Me in Holy Communion than you did by that small transgression.


One day, I saw a small chapel in which six sisters were receiving Holy Communion from our confessor [Father Sopocko], who was wearing a surplice and stole. [l29] There were no decorations and no kneelers in the chapel. After Holy Communion, I saw the Lord Jesus as He is represented in the image. Jesus was walking away, and I called to Him, "How can You pass me by and not say anything to me, Lord? Without You, I shall do nothing; You must stay with me and bless me, and this community and my country as well." Jesus made the sign of the cross and said, Do not fear anything; I am always with you.


On the last two days before Lent we had an hour of propitiatory adoration with the girls. [130] During both hours I saw the Lord Jesus as He was after the scourging. My soul felt such great pain that it seemed to me that I was experiencing all those torments in my own body and in my own soul.


March 1, 1936. Today during Holy Mass I experienced a strange force and urge to start realizing God's wishes. I had such a clear understanding of the things the Lord was asking of me that truly if I were to say that I do not understand what God is demanding from me, I would be lying, because the Lord is making His will known to me so clearly and distinctly that I do not have the least shadow of a doubt about them. I realized that it would be the greatest ingratitude to delay any longer this undertaking which the Lord wishes to bring to fulfillment for His glory and the benefit of a great number of souls. And He is using me as a miserable tool through which to realize His eternal plans of mercy. Truly, how ungrateful my soul would be to resist God's will any longer. Nothing will stop me any longer, be it persecution, sufferings, sneers, threats, entreaties, hunger, cold, flattery, friendships, adversities, friends or enemies; be it things I am experiencing now or things that will come in the future or even the hatred of hellnothing will deter me from doing the will of God.

I am not counting on my own strength, but on His omnipotence for, as he gave me the grace of knowing His holy will, He will also grant me the grace of fulfilling it. I cannot fail to mention how much my own lower nature resists this thing, manifesting its own desires, and there results within my soul a great struggle, like that of Jesus in the Garden of Olives. And so I too cry out to God, the Eternal Father, "If it is possible, take this cup from me, but, nevertheless, not my will, but Yours be done, O Lord; may Your will be done." What I am about to go through is no secret to me, but with full knowledge I accept whatever You send me, O Lord. I trust in You, O merciful God, and I wish to be the first to manifest to You that confidence which You demand of souls. O Eternal Truth, help me and enlighten me along the roadways of life, and grant that Your will be accomplished in me.

My God, I desire nothing but the fulfillment of Your will. It does not matter whether it will be easy or difficult. I feel an extraordinary force driving me to action. One thing alone holds me back, and that is holy obedience. O my Jesus, You urge me on the one hand and hold me back and restrain me on the other. In this, too, O my Jesus, may Your holy will be done.

I continued in this state, without a break, for many days. My physical strength declined, and though I did not speak to anyone about it, nevertheless Mother Superior [Borgia] noticed my pain and remarked that I had changed in appearance and was very pale. She told me to go to bed earlier and to sleep longer, and she had a cup of hot milk brought to me in the evening. She had a motherly heart, full of care, and tried to help me. But in the case of spiritual sufferings, external things have no influence, and they do not bring much relief. It was from the confessional that I drew my strength and the consolation of knowing that it would not be long before I could begin to act.


On Thursday, when I went to my cell, I saw over me the Sacred Host in great brightness. Then I heard a voice that seemed to be coming from above the Host: In the Host is your power; it will defend you. After these words, the vision disappeared, but a strange power entered my soul, and a strange light as to what our love for God consists in; namely, in doing His will.


O Holy Trinity, Eternal God, I want to shine in the crown of Your mercy as a tiny gem whose beauty depends on the ray of Your light and of Your inscrutable mercy. All that is beautiful in my soul is Yours, O God; of myself, I am ever nothing.


At the beginning of Lent, I asked my confessor for some mortification for this time of fast. I was told not to cut down on my food but, while eating, to meditate on how the Lord Jesus, on the Cross, accepted vinegar and gall. This would be my mortification. I did not know that this would be so beneficial to my soul. The benefit is that I am meditating constantly on His sorrowful Passion and so, while I am eating, I am not preoccupied with what I am eating, but am reflecting on my Lord's death.


At the beginning of Lent, I also asked to have the subject of my particular examen changed, and I was told to do everything with the pure intention of reparation for poor sinners. This keeps me in continual union with God, and this intention perfects my actions, because everything I do is done for immortal souls. All hardships and fatigue are as nothing when I think that they reconcile sinful souls with God.


Mary is my Instructress, who is ever teaching me how to live for God. My spirit brightens up in Your gentleness and Your humility, O Mary.


On one occasion, when I dropped by the chapel for a five-minute adoration and was praying for a certain soul, I came to understand that God does not always accept our petitions for the souls we have in mind, but directs these to other souls. Hence, although we do not relieve the souls we intended to relieve in their purgatorial suffering, still our prayer is not lost.


Intimate communion of a soul with God. God approaches a soul in a special way known only to himself and to the soul. No one perceives this mysterious union. Love presides in this union, and everything is achieved by love alone. Jesus gives himself to the soul in a gentle and sweet manner, and in His depths there is peace. He grants the soul many graces and makes it capable of sharing His eternal thoughts. And frequently, He reveals to it His divine plans.


Father Andrasz told me that it would be a good thing to have in God's Church a group of souls who would beg for His mercy, because in fact we are all in need of that mercy. After these words, an extraordinary light filled my soul. Oh, how good is the Lord!


March 18, 1936. Once, I asked the Lord Jesus to take the first step by bringing about some change or some external event, or by letting them expel me, as I found it impossible to leave the Congregation on my own initiative. And I was in an agony over this for more than three hours. I could not pray, but kept submitting my will to the will of God.

The next morning, Mother Superior [Borgia] told me that Mother General [Michael] was transferring me to Warsaw. I answered Mother that perhaps I should not go but leave [the Congregation] directly from here. I regarded this to be the external sign for which I had been asking God. Mother Superior made no reply, but after some time she called me again and said, "You know what, Sister: go anyway and don't worry about wasting a trip, even if you should return immediately." I answered, "All right, I will go," although my heart was seized with pain because I knew that by this trip this matter would be delayed. However, I try always to be obedient, despite everything.


In the evening, when I was praying, the Mother of God told me, Your lives must be like Mine: quiet and hidden, in unceasing union with God, pleading for humanity and preparing the world for the second coming of God.


In the evening, during Benediction, my soul was for some time in communion with God the Father. I felt I was in His hand like a little child, and I heard these words in my soul: Do not fear anything, My daughter; all the adversaries will be shattered at My feet. At these words, a deep peace and a great interior calm entered my soul.


When I complained to the Lord that He was taking my help away and that I would be alone again and would not know what to do, I heard these words: Do not be afraid; I am always with you. After these words, a deep peace once again entered my soul. His presence penetrated me completely in a way that could be sensed. My spirit was flooded with light, and my body participated in this as well.


On the evening of the last day before my departure from Vilnius, an elderly sister [131] revealed the condition of her soul to me. She said that she had already been suffering interiorly for several years, that it seemed to her that all her confessions had been bad, and that she had doubts as to whether the Lord Jesus had forgiven her. I asked her if she had ever told her confessor about this. She answered that she had spoken many times about this to her confessors and... "the confessors are always telling me to be at peace, but still I suffer very much, and nothing brings me relief, and it constantly seems to me that God has not forgiven me." I answered, "You should obey your confessor, Sister, and be fully at peace, because this is certainly a temptation."

But she entreated me with tears in her eyes to ask Jesus if He had forgiven her and whether her confessions had been good or not. I answered forcefully, "Ask Him yourself, Sister, if you don't believe your confessors!" But she clutched my hand and did not want to let me go until I gave her an answer, and she kept asking me to pray for her and to let her know what Jesus would tell me about her. Crying bitterly, she would not let me go and said to me, "I know that the Lord Jesus speaks to you, Sister." Since she was clutching my hand and I could not wrench myself away, I promised her I would pray for her. In the evening, during Benediction, I heard these words in my soul:
Tell her that her disbelief wounds My heart more than the sins she committed. When I told her this, she began to cry like a child, and great joy entered her soul. I understood that God wanted to console this soul through me. Even though it cost me a good deal, I fulfilled God's wish.


When I entered the chapel for a moment that same evening, to thank God for all the graces He had bestowed on me in this house, suddenly God's presence enveloped me. I felt like a child in the hands of the best of fathers, and I heard these words: Do not fear anything. I am always with you. His love penetrated my whole being. I felt I was entering into such close intimacy with Him that I cannot find words to express it.


Then I saw one of the seven spirits near me, radiant as at other times, under a form of light. I constantly saw him beside me when I was riding on the train. I saw an angel standing on every church we passed, but surrounded by a light which was paler than that of the spirit who was accompanying me on the journey, and each of these spirits who were guarding the churches bowed his head to the spirit who was near me.

When I entered the convent gate at Warsaw, the spirit disappeared. I thanked God for His goodness, that He gives us angels for companions. Oh, how little people reflect on the fact that they always have beside them such a guest, and at the same time a witness to everything! Remember, sinners, that you likewise have a witness to all your deeds.


O my Jesus, Your goodness surpasses all understanding, and no one will exhaust Your mercy. Damnation is for the soul who wants to be damned; but for the one who desires salvation, there is the inexhaustible ocean of the Lord's mercy to draw from. How can a small vessel contain the unfathomable ocean?


As I was taking leave of the sisters and was about to depart, one of them [132] apologized much to me for having helped me so little in my duties, and not only for having neglected to help me, but also for having tried to make things more difficult for me. However, in my own heart, I regarded her as a great benefactress, because she had exercised me in patience to such an extent that one of the elder sisters had once said, "Sister Faustina must be either a fool or a saint, for truly, an ordinary person would not tolerate having someone constantly do such things out of spite." However, I had always approached her with good will. That particular sister had tried to make my work more difficult to the point that, despite my efforts, she had sometimes succeeded in spoiling what had been well done, as she herself admitted to me at our parting, and for which she begged my pardon. I had not wanted to probe her intentions, but took it as a trial from God...


I am greatly surprised at how one can be so jealous. When I see someone else's good, I rejoice at it as if it were mine. The joy of others is my joy, and the suffering of others is my suffering, for otherwise I would not dare to commune with the Lord Jesus. The spirit of Jesus is always simple, meek, sincere; all malice, envy, and unkindness disguised under a smile of good will are clever little devils. A severe word flowing from sincere love does not wound the heart.


March 22,[1936]. When I arrived at Warsaw, I went into the small chapel for a moment to thank the Lord for a safe journey, and I asked the Lord to give me the assistance and the grace necessary for everything that was in store for me here. I submitted myself in all things to His holy will. I heard these words: Fear nothing; all difficulties will serve for the fulfillment of My will.


March 25. In the morning, during meditation, God's presence enveloped me in a special way, as I saw the immeasurable greatness of God and, at the same time, His condescension to His creatures. Then I saw the Mother of God, who said to me, Oh, how pleasing to God is the soul that follows faithfully the inspirations of His grace! I gave the Savior to the world; as for you, you have to speak to the world about His great mercy and prepare the world for the Second Coming of Him who will come, not as a merciful Savior, but as a just Judge. Oh, how terrible is that day! Determined is the day of justice, the day of divine wrath. The angels tremble before it. Speak to souls about this great mercy while it is still the time for [granting] mercy. If you keep silent now, you will be answering for a great number of souls on that terrible day. Fear nothing. Be faithful to the end. I sympathize with you.


When I arrived at Walendow, one of the sisters [133] gave me this welcome: "Sister, now that you have come to us here, everything is going to be all right." I said to her, "Why do you say that, Sister?" She answered that she felt this in her soul. This particular person is full of simplicity and very pleasing to the Heart of Jesus. The house really was in dire straits [financially]. ...I shall not mention all of that here.


Confession. As I was preparing for confession, I said to Jesus, hidden in the Blessed Sacrament, "Jesus, I beg You to speak to me through the mouth of this priest. And this will be a sign to me, because he does not know at all that You want me to establish that Congregation of Mercy. Let him say something to me about this mercy."

When I approached the confessional and started my confession, the priest interrupted me and started telling me about the great mercy of God, and he spoke more forcefully about it than I had ever heard anyone speak before. And he asked me, "Do you know that the mercy of the Lord is greater than all His works, that it is the crown of His works?" And I listened attentively to these words which the Lord was speaking through the mouth of the priest. Although I believe that it is always God who speaks through the lips of the priest in the confessional, I experienced it in a special way on that occasion.

Although I did not reveal anything of the divine life which is in my soul and only accused myself of my offenses, the priest himself told me very much of what was in my soul and put me under obligation to be faithful to the inspirations of God. He said to me, "You are going through life with the Mother of God, who faithfully responded to every divine inspiration." O my Jesus, who can ever comprehend Your goodness?


Jesus, drive away from me the thoughts that are not in accord with Your will. I know that nothing now binds me to this earth but this work of mercy.


Thursday. During the evening adoration, I saw Jesus scourged and tortured. He said to me, My daughter, I desire that even in the smallest things, you rely on your confessor. Your greatest sacrifices do not please Me if you practice them without the confessor's permission; on the other hand, the smallest sacrifice finds great value in My eyes, if it is done with his permission. The greatest works are worthless in My eyes if they are done out of self-will, and often they are not in accord with My will and merit punishment rather than reward. And on the other hand, even the smallest of your acts, done with the confessor's permission is pleasing in My eyes and very dear to Me. Hold firmly to this always. Be constantly on the watch, for many souls will turn back from the gates of hell and worship My mercy. But fear nothing, as I am with you. Know that of yourself you can do nothing.


On the First Friday of the month, before Communion, I saw a large ciborium filled with sacred hosts. A hand placed the ciborium in front of me, and I took it in my hands. There were a thousand living hosts inside. Then I heard a voice, These are hosts which have been received by the souls for whom you have obtained the grace of true conversion during this Lent. That was a week before Good Friday. I spent the day in great interior recollection, emptying myself for the sake of souls.


Oh, what joy it is to empty myself for the sake of immortal souls! I know that the grain of wheat must be destroyed and ground between millstones in order to become food. In the same way, I must become destroyed in order to be useful to the Church and souls, even though exteriorly no one will notice my sacrifice. O Jesus, outwardly I want to be hidden, just like this little wafer wherein the eye perceives nothing, and yet I am a host consecrated to You.


Palm Sunday. This Sunday, I experienced in a special way the sentiments of the most sweet Heart of Jesus. My spirit was there where Jesus was. I saw Jesus riding on a donkey's foal, and the disciples and a great multitude with branches in their hands joyfully accompanying the Lord Jesus. Some strewed them before His feet where He was riding, while others raised their branches in the air, leaping and jumping before the Lord and not knowing what to do for joy. And I saw another crowd which came out to meet Jesus, likewise with joyful faces and with branches in their hands, and they were crying out unceasingly with joy. There were little children there also. But Jesus was very grave, and the Lord gave me to know how much He was suffering at the time. And at that moment, I saw nothing but only Jesus, whose Heart was saturated with ingratitude.


Quarterly confession. Father Bukowski. When some inner force urged me again not to put off this matter, I was unable to find peace. I told the confessor, Father Bukowski, that I could not wait any longer. Father answered me, "Sister, this is an illusion. The Lord Jesus cannot be demanding this. You have made your perpetual vows. All this is an illusion. You are inventing some sort of heresy!" And he was shouting at me, almost at the top of his voice. I asked him whether all of this was an illusion, and He said, "Everything." "Then please tell me what course I must take." "Well, Sister, you must not follow any inspiration. You should get your mind off all this. You should pay no attention to what you hear in your soul and try to carry out your exterior duties well. Give no thought to these things and put them completely out of your mind." I answered, "Good, up to now, I have been following my conscience, but now that you direct me, Father, to pay no heed to my interior, I will cease to do so." Then he said, "If the Lord Jesus tells you something again, please let me know, but you must take no action." I answered, "Very well; I will try to be obedient. "I do not know why Father was being so severe.


644 When I left the confessional, a multitude of thoughts oppressed my soul. Why be sincere? What I have told is no sin, so I have no duty to tell it to the confessor. And again, what a relief that I do not have to heed my interior any more as long as things are all right on the outside. I do not have to pay attention to anything or to follow the inner voices that have often cost me so much humiliation. From now on, I will be free. And again, a strange pain seized my soul: can I not, then, commune with the One whom I desire so greatly? The One who is the whole strength of my soul? I began to cry out, "To whom shall I go, O Jesus?" But from the moment of the confessor's prohibition, great darkness fell upon my soul. I feared lest I hear some inner voice, which would occasion the breaking of my confessor's prohibition. And then again, I die of longing for God. My interior is torn asunder, not having any will of its own, since it has been turned over completely to God.

That was on Wednesday of Holy Week. The suffering intensified on Holy Thursday. When I came to make my meditation, I entered into a kind of agony. I did not feel the presence of God, but all the justice of God weighed heavily upon me. I saw myself as if knocked down for the sins of the world. Satan began to mock me, "See, now you will no longer strive to win souls; look how you've been paid! Nobody will believe you that Jesus demands this. See how much you are suffering now, and how much more you are going to suffer! After all, the confessor has now released you from all these things." Now I can live as I like, as long as things are all right outwardly. These dreadful thoughts tormented me throughout the whole hour.

When it was almost time for Holy Mass, my heart was seized with pain; am I, then, to leave the Congregation? And since Father has told me that this is a kind of heresy, am I to fall away from the Church? I cried out to the Lord with a sorrowful interior cry, "Jesus, save me!" Still, not a single ray of light entered my soul, and I felt my strength failing, as if the body were separating itself from the soul. I submitted to the will of God and repeated, "O God, let whatever You have decided upon happen to me. Nothing in me is any longer my own." Then, suddenly, God's presence enveloped me and penetrated me through and through. This was just as I was receiving Holy Communion. A moment after Holy Communion, I lost all awareness of everything around me and of my whereabouts.


Then I saw the Lord Jesus, as He is represented in the image, and He said to me, Tell the confessor that this work is Mine and that I am using you as a lowly instrument. And I said, "Jesus, I can no longer do anything You command me to do, because my confessor has told me that all this is an illusion, and that I am not allowed to obey any of Your commands. I will do nothing that You will tell me to do now. I am sorry, my Lord, but I am not allowed to do anything, and I must obey my confessor. Jesus, I most earnestly ask Your pardon. You know how much I suffer because of this, but it can't be helped, Jesus. The confessor has forbidden me to follow Your orders." Jesus listened to my arguments and complaints with kindness and satisfaction. I thought the Lord Jesus would be grievously offended but, on the contrary, He was pleased and said to me kindly, Always tell your confessor about everything I say to you and command you to do, and do only that for which you obtain permission. Do not be upset, and fear nothing; I am with you. My soul was filled with joy, and all those oppressive thoughts vanished. Certitude and courage entered my soul.


But after a short while, I entered into the sufferings which Jesus underwent in the Garden of Olives. This lasted until Friday morning. On Friday, I experienced the Passion of Jesus but, this time, in a different way. On that day, Father Bukowski came from Derdy. Some strange power pushed me to go to confession and tell him about everything that had happened to me and about what Jesus had said to me. When I told Father, he was quite different and he said to me, "Sister, don't be afraid of anything; you will come to no harm, for the ' Lord Jesus will not allow it. If you are obedient and persevere in this disposition, you need not worry about anything. God will find a way to bring about His work. You should always have this simplicity and sincerity and tell everything to Mother General. What I said to ; you was said as a warning, because illusions may afflict even holy persons, and Satan's insinuations may play a part in this, and sometimes this comes from our own selves, so one has to be careful. And so continue as you have thus far. You can see, Sister, that the Lord is not angered by this. And Sister, you can repeat these things that have happened to you at present to your regular confessor [Father Sopocko]."


From this, I came to understand one thing: that I must pray much for each of my confessors, that he might obtain the light of the Holy Spirit, for when I approach the confessional without first praying, fervently, the confessor does not understand me very well. Father encouraged me to pray fervently for these intentions, that God would give better knowledge and understanding of the things He is asking of me. "Make novena after novena, Sister, and God will not refuse the graces."


Good Friday. At three o'clock, I saw the Lord Jesus, crucified, who looked at me and said, I thirst. Then I saw two rays issue from His side, just as they appear in the image. I then felt in my soul the desire to save souls and to empty myself for the sake of poor sinners. I offered myself, together with the dying Jesus, to the Eternal Father, for the salvation of the whole world. With Jesus, through Jesus and in Jesus is my communion with You, Eternal Father. On Good Friday, Jesus suffered in His soul in a way which was different from [His suffering on] Holy Thursday.


Mass of the Resurrection. [April 12, 1936]. When I entered the chapel, my spirit was immersed in God, its only treasure. His presence flooded me.


O my Jesus, my Master and Director, strengthen and enlighten me in these difficult moments of my life. I expect no help from people; all my hope is in You. I feel alone in the face of Your demands, O Lord. Despite the fears and qualms of my nature, I am fulfilling Your holy will and desire to fulfill it as faithfully as possible throughout my life and in my death. Jesus, with You I can do all things. Do with me as You please; only give me Your merciful Heart and that is enough for me.

O Jesus my Lord, help me. Let what You have planned before all ages happen to me. I am ready at each beckoning of Your holy will. Enlighten my mind that I may know Your will. O God, You who pervade my soul, You know that I desire nothing but Your glory.

O Divine Will, You are the delight of my heart, the food of my soul, the light of my intellect, the omnipotent strength of my will; for when I unite myself with Your will, O Lord, Your power works through me and takes the place of my feeble will. Each day, I seek to carry out God's wishes.


Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II:  651 – 700 )

Notebook 2


O incomprehensible God, how great is Your mercy! It surpasses the combined understanding of all men and angels. All the angels and all humans have emerged from the very depths of Your tender mercy. Mercy is the flower of love. God is love, and mercy is His deed. In love it is conceived; in mercy it is revealed. Everything I look at speaks to me of God's mercy. Even God's very justice speaks to me about His fathomless mercy, because justice flows from love.


There is one word I heed and continually ponder; it alone is everything to me; I live by it and die by it, and it is the holy will of God. It is my daily food. My whole soul listens intently to God's wishes. I do always what God asks of me, although my nature often quakes and I feel that the magnitude of these things is beyond my strength. 1 know well what I am of myself, but I also know what the grace of God is, which supports me.


April 25, 1936. Walendow. On that day, the suffering in my soul was more severe than ever before. From early morning, I felt as if my body and soul had separated. I felt that God's presence had penetrated my whole being; I felt all the justice of God within me; I felt I stood alone before God. I thought: one word from my spiritual director would set me entirely at peace; but what can I do?-he is not here. However, I decided to seek light in holy confession. When I uncovered my soul to the priest, [134] he was afraid to continue hearing my confession, and that caused me even greater suffering. When I see that a priest is fearful, I do not obtain any inner peace. So I have decided that only to my spiritual director will I open my soul in all matters, from the greatest to the least, and that I will follow his directions strictly.


Now I understand that confession is only the confessing of one's sins, and spiritual guidance is a different thing altogether. But this is not what I want to speak about. I want to tell about a strange thing that happened to me for the first time. When the confessor started talking to me, I did not understand a single word. Then I saw Jesus Crucified and He said to me, It is in My Passion that you must seek light and strength. After the confession, I meditated on Jesus' terrible Passion, and I understood that what I was suffering was nothing compared to the Savior's Passion, and that even the smallest imperfection was the cause of this terrible suffering. Then my soul was filled with very great contrition, and only then I sensed that I was in the sea of the unfathomable mercy of God. Oh, how few words I have to express what I am experiencing! I feel I am like a drop of dew engulfed in the depths of the bottomless ocean of divine mercy.


+ May 11, 1936. I came to Cracow. I was happy that at last I shall be able to carry out all that the Lord Jesus was demanding.

Once, when I was speaking with Father A.... [Andrasz] and had told him everything, I received this answer: "Sister, pray till the day of the Feast of the Most Sacred Heart and add some mortification to the prayer, and on the Feast of the Sacred Heart I will give you an answer." But one day, I heard this voice in my soul:
Fear nothing; I am with you. After these words, I felt such an urgency within me that, without waiting for the Feast of the Sacred Heart, I said during confession that I was going to leave the Congregation immediately. Father answered, "Sister, since you have made the decision by yourself, then take the responsibility for yourself. Go." I was happy to be leaving.

The following morning, God's presence suddenly left me. A great darkness came over my soul. I could not pray. Because of this sudden loss of the presence of God, I decided to postpone the matter for a while, until I had talked with Father.

Father A. [Andrasz] answered that such changes in souls were frequent, and that this was not an obstacle to action.


When I talked to Mother General [Michael] about everything that had happened to me, she said, "Sister, I am locking you in the tabernacle with the Lord Jesus; wherever you go from there, that will be the will of God."


June 19. When we went to the Jesuits' place for theprocession of the Sacred Heart, during Vespers I saw the same rays coming forth from the Sacred Host, just as they are painted in the image. My soul was filled with great longing for God.

June, 1936. Conversation with Father A. [Andrasz]


"Know that these are hard and difficult things. Your principal spiritual director is the Holy Spirit. We can only give direction to these inspirations, but your real director is the Holy Spirit. If you yourself have decided to leave, Sister, I neither prohibit nor order you to do so. You take the responsibility for yourself. I say this to you, Sister: you can begin to take action. You are capable of doing so, and therefore you can do so. These things are indeed probable; all you have told me up to now [before perpetual vows in Cracow in 1933] speaks in favor of taking action. Still, you have to be very careful in all this. Pray much and ask that I be given light."


During Holy Mass, offered by Father Andrasz, I saw the little Infant Jesus, who told me that I was to depend on him for everything; no action undertaken on your own, even though you put much effort into it, pleases Me. I understood this [need of] dependence.


O my Jesus, on the day of the last judgment, You will demand from me an account of this work of mercy. O just Judge, but my Spouse as well, help me to do Your holy will. O mercy, O divine virtue!

O most merciful Heart of Jesus, my Betrothed, make my heart like unto Yours.


July 16. I spent this whole night in prayer. I meditated upon the Lord's Passion, and my soul was crushed by the burden of God's justice. The Hand of the Lord touched me.


July 17. O my Jesus, You know how much adversity I encounter in this matter, how much reproach I must put up with, how many ironic smiles I must take with equanimity. Oh, alone I would not be able to survive this, but with You, my Master, I can do all things. Oh, how painfully an ironic smile wounds, especially when one [appears to] speak with great sincerity.


July 22. O my Jesus, I know that a person's greatness is evidenced by his deeds and not by his words or feelings. It is the works that have come from us that will speak about us. My Jesus, do not allow me to daydream, but give me the courage and strength to fulfill Your holy will.

Jesus, if You wish to leave me in uncertainty, even to the end of my life, may Your Holy Name be blessed.



+ O my Jesus, how immensely I rejoice at the assurance You have given me that the Congregation will come into being. I no longer have the least shadow of a doubt about this, and I see how great is the glory which it will give to God. It will be the reflection of God's greatest attribute; that is, His divine mercy. Unceasingly, they will intercede for divine mercy for themselves and for the whole world. And every act of mercy will flow from God's love, that love with which they will be filled to overflowing. They will strive to make their own this great attribute of God, and to live by it and to bring others to know it and to trust in the goodness of the Lord. This Congregation of Divine Mercy will be in God's Church like a beehive in a magnificent garden, hidden and meek. The sisters will work like bees to feed their neighbors' souls with honey, while the wax will flame for the glory of God.

+ June 29, 1936.


Father Andrasz told me to make a novena for the intention of knowing better the will of God. I prayed ardently, adding a certain bodily mortification. Towards the end of the novena, I received an inner light and the assurance that the Congregation will come into being and that it is pleasing to God. Despite the difficulties and adversities, complete peace and strength entered my soul from on high. I understood that nothing could resist or nullify the will of God. I understood that I must carry out this will of God despite obstacles, persecution and sufferings of all kinds, and despite natural repugnance and fear.


I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God's will. Perfect fulfillment of God's will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God's light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God's will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God's will as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God.


July 14. I received a letter at three o'clock [from Father Sopocko [135]]. O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not say anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will comfort me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my nourishment. I am living now on what I will live on in eternity.

I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God's will faithfully.


+ July 15. During Holy Mass, I offered myself completely to the heavenly Father through the sweetest Heart of Jesus; let Him do as He pleases with me. Of myself I am nothing, and in my misery I have nothing of worth; so I abandon myself into the ocean of Your mercy, O Lord.


July 16. I am learning how to be good from Jesus, from Him who is goodness itself, so that I may be called a daughter of the heavenly Father. This morning, when someone hurt my feelings, I tried, in that suffering, to unite my will to the will of God, and I praised God by my silence. In the afternoon, I went for a five-minute adoration, when suddenly I saw the crucifix I have on my breast come alive. Jesus said to me, My daughter, suffering will be a sign to you that I am with you. My soul was greatly moved by these words.


O Jesus, my Master and my Director, it is only with You that I can converse. With no one else is it so easy to talk as with You, O God. <p



In my spiritual life, I will always hold on to the priest's hand. About my soul's life and its needs, I will speak only with my confessor.


+ August 4, 1936. Inner torment for more than two hours. Agony.... Suddenly, God's presence pervades me and I feel as though I am coming under the power of the just God. His justice pervades me to the marrow; outwardly I lose strength and consciousness. With this, I come to know the great holiness of God and my own great misery. A great torment afflicts my soul; the soul perceives its deeds to be not without blemish. Then the strength of trust is awakened in the soul, which longs for God with all its might. Yet it sees how miserable it is and what utter vanity everything that surrounds it. And face to face with such holiness, Oh, poor soul....

August 13.


I was tormented by terrible temptations all day; blasphemies thrust themselves upon my lips, and I felt an aversion for everything that is holy and godlike. Yet I struggled throughout the day. In the evening, my mind became oppressed: what's the use of telling this to the confessor? He will ridicule it. A feeling of aversion and discouragement filled my soul, and it seemed to me that I could by no means receive Holy Communion in that condition. At the thought of not receiving Communion, such a terrible pain seized my soul that I almost cried aloud in the chapel. But I suddenly realized that the sisters were there and decided to go to the garden and hide myself there so as to be able to at least cry out loud. Then suddenly, Jesus stood by me and said, Where are you intending to go?


I gave no answer to Jesus, but poured out all my sorrow before Him, and Satan's attempts ceased. Jesus then said to me, The inner peace that you have is a grace, and suddenly He was gone. I felt happy and unaccountably peaceful. Really, for so much peace to return within a moment-that is a thing only Jesus can do, He, the most high Lord.


+ August 7, 1936. When I received the article] [136] about Divine Mercy with the image [on the cover], God's presence filled me in an extraordinary way. When I steeped myself in a prayer of thanksgiving, I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus in a great brightness, just as He is painted, and at His feet I saw Father Andrasz and Father Sopocko. Both were holding pens in their hands, and flashes of light and fire, like lightning, were coming from the tips of their pens and striking a great crowd of people who were hurrying I know not where. Whoever was touched by the ray of light immediately turned his back on the crowd and held out his hands to Jesus. Some returned with great joy, others with great pain and compunction. Jesus was looking at both priests with great kindness. After a while, I was left alone with Jesus, and I said, "Jesus, take me now, for Your will has already been accomplished." And Jesus answered, My will has not yet been completely accomplished in you; you will still suffer much, but I am with you; do not fear.


I have been talking much with the Lord about Father Andrasz and also about Father Sopocko. I know that whatever I ask of the Lord He will not refuse me, and He will give them that for which I ask. I sensed and I know how greatly Jesus loves them. I am not writing about this in detail, but I know this, and it makes me very happy.

August 15, 1936


During a Mass celebrated by Father Andrasz, a moment before the Elevation, God's presence pervaded my soul, which was drawn to the altar. Then I saw the Mother of God with the Infant Jesus. The Infant Jesus was holding onto the hand of Our Lady. A moment later, the Infant Jesus ran with joy to the center of the altar, and the Mother of God said to me, See with what assurance I entrust Jesus into his hands. In the same way, you are to entrust your soul and be like a child to him.

-After these words, my soul was filled with unusual trust. The Mother of God was clothed in a white dress, strangely white, transparent; on Her shoulders She had a transparent blue; that is, a blue-like mantle; with uncovered head [and] flowing hair, She was exquisite, and inconceivably beautiful. She was looking at Father with great tenderness, but after a moment, He broke up this beautiful Child, and living blood flowed forth. Father bent forward and received the true and living Jesus into himself. Had he eaten Him? I do not know how this took place. Jesus, Jesus, I cannot keep up with You, for in an instant, You become incomprehensible to me.


The essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the will of God faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and circumstances of my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy will of God is the object of my love. In the most secret depths of my soul, I live according to His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings, persecutions and all manner of adversities by divine will than popularity, praise and esteem by my own will.


Good night, my Jesus; the bell is calling me to sleep. My Jesus, You see that I am dying from the desire to save souls. Good night, my Beloved; I rejoice at being one day closer to eternity. And if You let me wake up tomorrow, Jesus, I shall begin a new hymn to Your praise.


+ July 13. During meditation today, I came to understand that I should never speak about my own interior experiences, [but] that I should conceal nothing from my spiritual director; and I will especially ask God to enlighten my spiritual director. I attach greater importance to the words of my confessor than to all the lights taken together that I receive interiorly.


+ Amid the greatest torments, I fix the gaze of my soul upon Jesus Crucified; I do not expect help from people, but place my trust in God. In His unfathomable mercy lies all my hope.


+ The more I feel that God is transforming me, the more I desire to immerse myself in silence. The love of God is doing its work in the depths of my soul. I see that the mission which the Lord has entrusted to me is beginning.


+ Once, when I was praying fervently to the Jesuit Saints, I suddenly saw my Guardian Angel, who led me before the throne of God. I passed through great hosts of saints, and I recognized many of them, whom I knew from their pictures. I saw many Jesuits, who asked me from what congregation I was. When I answered they asked, "Who is your spiritual director?" I answered that it was Father A.... When they wanted to say more, my Guardian Angel beckoned me to be silent, and I came before the throne of God. I saw a great and inaccessible light, and I saw a place destined for me, close to God. But what it was like I do not know, because a cloud covered it. However, my Guardian Angel said to me, "Here is your throne, for your faithfulness in fulfilling the will of God."


+ Holy Hour. -Thursday. During this hour of prayer, Jesus allowed me to enter the Cenacle, and I was a witness to what happened there. However, I was most deeply moved when, before the Consecration, Jesus raised His eyes to heaven and entered into a mysterious conversation with His Father. It is only in eternity that we shall really understand that moment. His eyes were like two flames; His face was radiant, white as snow; His whole personage full of majesty, His soul full of longing. At the moment of Consecration, love rested satiated-the sacrifice fully consummated. Now only the external ceremony of death will be carried out-external destruction; the essence [of it] is in the Cenacle. Never in my whole life had I understood this mystery so profoundly as during that hour of adoration. Oh, how ardently I desire that the whole world would come to know this unfathomable mystery!


After the Holy Hour, when I went to my cell, I suddenly learned how greatly God was offended by a certain person, who was close to my heart. At the sight of this, my soul was pierced with pain, and I cast myself in the dust before the Lord, begging His mercy. For two hours, in tears, prayer and flagellation I prevented the sin, and I learned that God's mercy had embraced that poor soul. Oh, the price of one single sin!


+ September. First Friday. In the evening, I saw the Mother of God, with Her breast bared and pierced with a sword. She was shedding bitter tears and shielding us against God's terrible punishment. God wants to inflict terrible punishment on us, but He cannot because the Mother of God is shielding us. Horrible fear seized my soul. I kept praying incessantly for Poland, for my dear Poland, which is so lacking in gratitude for the Mother of God. If it were not for the Mother of God, all our efforts would be of little use. I intensified my prayers and sacrifices for our dear native land, but I see that I am a drop before the wave of evil. How can a drop stop a wave? O yes! A drop is nothing of itself, but with You, Jesus, I shall stand up bravely to the whole wave of evil and even to the whole of hell. Your omnipotence can do all things.


Once, as I was going down the hall to the kitchen, I heard these words in my soul: Say unceasingly the chaplet that I have taught you. Whoever will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of death. Priests will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even if there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from My infinite mercy. I desire that the whole world know My infinite mercy. I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those souls who trust in My mercy.


Jesus, Life and Truth, my Master, guide every step of my life, that I may act according to Your holy will.


+ On one occasion, I saw the throne of the Lamb of God and before the throne three Saints: Stanislaus Kostka, Andrew Bobola and Prince Casimir, who were interceding for Poland. All at once I saw a large book which stands before the throne, and it was given to me to read. The book was written in blood. Still, I could not read anything but the name, Jesus. Then I heard a voice which said to me, Your hour has not yet come. Then the book was taken away from me, and I heard these words: You will bear witness to My infinite mercy. In this book are written the names of the souls that have glorified My mercy. I was overwhelmed with joy at the sight of such great goodness of God.


+ On one occasion, I came to know of the condition of two religious sisters who were grumbling interiorly about an order the superior had given them, and for this reason God had withheld many special graces from them. My heart ached at this sight. How sad it is, O Jesus, when we ourselves are the cause of the loss of graces. Whoever understands this is always faithful.


+ Thursday. Although I was very tired today, I nevertheless resolved to make a Holy Hour. I could not pray, nor could I remain kneeling, but I remained in prayer for a whole hour and united myself in spirit with those souls who are already worshiping God in the perfect way. But towards the end of the hour, I suddenly saw Jesus, who looked at me penetratingly and said with ineffable sweetness, Your prayer is extremely pleasing to Me. After these words, an unusual power and spiritual joy entered my soul. God's presence continued to pervade my soul. Oh, what happens to a soul that meets the Lord face to face, no pen has ever expressed or ever will express!


+ O Jesus, I understand that Your mercy is beyond all imagining, and therefore I ask You to make my heart so big that there will be room in it for the needs of all the souls living on the face of the earth. O Jesus, my love extends beyond the world, to the souls suffering in purgatory, and I want to exercise mercy toward them by means of indulgenced prayers. God's mercy is unfathomable and inexhaustible, just as God himself is unfathomable. Even if I were to use the strongest words there are to express this mercy of God, all this would be nothing in comparison with what it is in reality. O Jesus, make my heart sensitive to all the sufferings of my neighbor, whether of body or of soul. O my Jesus, I know that You act toward us as we act toward our neighbor.

My Jesus, make my heart like unto Your merciful Heart. Jesus, help me to go through life doing good to everyone.


September 14, [1936]. The Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] of Vilnius visited us. Although he stayed with us for a very short time, I still had a chance to talk with this worthy priest about the work of mercy. He showed himself very favorably disposed to this cause of mercy: "Sister, be completely at peace; if this is within the plans of divine providence, it will come about. In the meantime, Sister, pray for a clearer outward sign. Let the Lord Jesus give you a clearer knowledge of this. I beg you to wait a little while longer. The Lord Jesus will arrange the circumstances in such a way that everything will turn out all right."


> September 19, 1936. When we left the doctor's [137] [office] and stepped into the sanatorium chapel for a moment, I heard these words in my soul:My child, just a few more drops in your chalice; it won't be long now. Joy filled my soul; this was the first call from my beloved Spouse and Master. My heart melted, and there was a moment when my soul was immersed in the whole sea of God's mercy. I felt that my mission was beginning in all its fullness. Death destroys nothing that is good. I pray most of all for souls that are experiencing inner sufferings.


Once, I received light concerning two sisters. I understood that it is not possible for a person to act in the same manner towards everyone. There are some people who have a strange way of making friends with others. And then, as friends and under the pretext of that friendship, they manage to draw the person out, word by word. Then, when the right moment comes, they use those very same words to hurt that person. My Jesus, how strange is human frailty! Your love, Jesus, gives the soul this great prudence in its dealings with others.


+ September 24, 1936.

Mother Superior [Irene] ordered me to say one decade of the rosary in place of all the other exercises, and to go to bed at once. As soon as I lay down I fell asleep, for I was very tired. But a while later, I was awakened by suffering. It was such a great suffering that it prevented me from making even the slightest movement; I could not even swallow my saliva. This lasted for about three hours. I thought of waking up the novice sister [138] who shared my room, but then I thought, "She cannot give me any help, so let her sleep. It would be a pity to wake her. "I resigned myself completely to the will of God and thought that the day of my death, so much desired, had come. It was an occasion for me to unite myself with Jesus, suffering on the Cross. Beyond that, I was unable to pray. When the suffering ceased, I began to perspire. But I still could not move, as the pain would return at each attempt. In the morning, I felt very tired, though I felt no further physical pain. Still, I could not get up to attend Mass. I thought to myself, if after such suffering death does not come, then how great the sufferings of death must be!


Jesus, You know that I love suffering and want to drain the cup of suffering to the last drop; and yet, my nature experienced a slight shudder and fear. Quickly, however, my trust in the infinite mercy of God was awakened in all its force, and everything else had to give way before it, like a shadow retreating before the sun's rays. O Jesus, how great is Your goodness! Your infinite goodness, so well known to me, enables me to bravely look death itself in the eye. I know that nothing will happen to me without God's permission. I desire to glorify Your infinite mercy during my life, at the hour of death, in the resurrection and throughout eternity.

+ My Jesus, my strength, my peace, my repose; my soul bathes daily in the rays of Your mercy. There is nota moment in my life when I do not experience Your mercy, O God. I count on nothing in my whole life, but only on Your infinite mercy. It is the guiding thread of my life, O Lord. My soul is filled with God's mercy.


+ Oh, how sorely Jesus is hurt by the ingratitude of a chosen soul! What a martyrdom it is for His unspeakable love! God loves us with the entire infinite Being that He is; and imagine, a miserable particle of dust scorns that love! My heart bursts with pain when I see this ingratitude.


On one occasion, I heard these words: My daughter, tell the whole world about My inconceivable mercy. I desire that the Feast of Mercy [139] be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which grace flow are opened. Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that exists has come forth from the very depths of My most tender mercy. Every soul in its relation to Me will contemplate My love and mercy throughout eternity. The Feast of Mercy emerged from My very depths of tenderness. It is My desire that it be solemnly celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter. Mankind will not have peace until it turns to the Fount of My Mercy.


+ Once, when I was very tired and in much pain, I told Mother Superior [Irene] about it and received the answer that I should get used to suffering. I listened to everything that Mother told me, and then I went out. Our Mother Superior has great love of neighbor and especially great love for the sick sisters, as everyone knows. And yet, as regards me, it is extraordinary that the Lord Jesus has permitted that she not understand me and that she test me much in this respect.



Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II:  701 – 750 )

Notebook 2


On this particular day, when I was feeling so bad and still went to work, every now and then I would feel sick. It was so very hot that, even without working, a person felt terrible, not to mention what it was like when one had to work while suffering. So, before noon, I straightened up from my work, looked up to the sky with great trust and said to the Lord, "Jesus, cover the sun, for I cannot stand this heat any longer." And, O wonder, at that very moment a white cloud covered the sun and, from then on, the heat became less intense. When a little while later I began to reproach myself that I did not bear the heat, but begged for relief, Jesus himself put me at ease.


August 13, 1936. Tonight God's presence is pervading me, and in an instant I come to know the great holiness of God. Oh, how the greatness of God overwhelms me! I then come to know the whole depth of my nothingness. This is a great torment, for this knowledge is followed by love. The soul bounds forward vehemently toward God, and the two loves come face to face: the Creator and the creature; one little drop seeks to measure itself with the ocean. At first, the little drop wants to enclose the infinite ocean within itself; but at the same moment, it knows itself to be just one small drop, and thus it is vanquished, and it passes completely into God like a drop into the ocean. At first, this moment is a torment, but so sweet that, on experiencing it, the soul is happy.


At present, the topic of my particular examen is my union with the Merciful Christ. This practice gives me unusual strength; my heart is always united with the One it desires, and its actions are regulated by mercy, which flows from love.


I spend every free moment at the feet of the hidden God. He is my Master; I ask Him about everything; I speak to Him about everything. Here I obtain strength and light; here I learn everything; here I am given light on how to act toward my neighbor. From the time I left the novitiate, I have enclosed myself in the tabernacle together with Jesus, my Master. He himself drew me into the fire of living love on which everything converges.


September 25. I suffer great pain in my hands, feet and side, the places where Jesus' body was pierced. I experience these pains particularly when I meet with a soul who is not in the state of grace. Then I pray fervently that the mercy of God will embrace that soul.


[September] 29. On the Feast of Saint Michael the Archangel, I saw by my side that great Leader, who spoke these words to me: "The Lord has ordered me to take special care of you. Know that you are hated by evil; but do not fear-'Who is like God!"' And he disappeared. But I feel his presence and assistance. <p



October 2, 1936. The First Friday of the month. After Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus, who spoke these words to me: Now I know that it is not for the graces or gifts that you love me, but because My will is dearer to you than life. That is why I am uniting myself with you so intimately as with no other creature.


At that moment, Jesus disappeared. My soul was filled with the presence of God. I know that the gaze of the Mighty One rests upon me. I plunged myself completely in the joy that flows from God. I continued throughout the whole day without interruption, thus immersed in God. In the evening, I fell as if into a faint and a strange sort of agony. My love wants to equal the love of the Mighty One. It is drawn to Him so vehemently that it is impossible, without some special grace from God, to bear the vastness of such a grace in this life. But I see clearly that Jesus himself is sustaining me and strengthening me and making me capable of communing with Him. In all this, the soul is particularly active.


October 3, 1936. During the rosary today, I suddenly saw a ciborium with the Blessed Sacrament. The ciborium was uncovered and quite filled with hosts. From the ciborium came a voice: These hosts have been received by souls converted through your prayer and suffering. At this point, I felt God's presence as a child would; I felt strangely like a child.


When one day I felt I would be unable to carry on till nine and asked S.N. [140] for something to eat, because I was going to bed earlier as I was not feeling well, S.N. answered, "But you are not ill, Sister; they only wanted you to have some rest, so they made up the illness." O my Jesus, my illness is so far advanced [141] that the doctor has separated me from the sisters to prevent them from becoming infected, and yet one is judged in this way. But that's good; all this is for You, my Jesus. I do not want to write much about external matters, for they are not the reason for my writing; I want in particular to note the graces granted me by the Lord, because these are not only for me, but for many other souls as well.


October 5, [1936]. Today I received a letter from Father Sopocko. I learned that he intends to publish a holy card of the Merciful Christ. He asked me to send him a certain prayer [142] which he wants to put on the back, if he receives the Archbishop's approbation. Oh, what great joy fills my heart that God has let me see this work of His mercy! How great is this work of the Most High God! I am but His instrument. Oh, how ardently I desire to see this Feast of the Divine Mercy which God is demanding through me. But if it is the will of God that it be celebrated solemnly only after my death, even so I rejoice in it already, and I celebrate it interiorly with my confessor's permission.


+ I saw Father Andrasz today, kneeling and engulfed in prayer, and suddenly Jesus stood by him and, holding out both hands over his head, He said to me:- He will lead you through; do not fear.


October 11. This evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and its great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and fury. He seized the screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little frightened at first, but I immediately made the sign of the cross with my little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I did not see this hideous figure but only his anger. Satan's anger is terrible, and yet the screen was not shattered or broken, and I went on writing quietly. I know well that the wretch will not touch me without God's willing it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to attack me openly and with such great fury and hate, but he does not disturb my peace for a moment, and this composure of mine makes him furious.


+ The Lord said to me today: Go to the Superior and tell her that I want all the sisters and wards to say the chaplet which I have taught you. They are to say it for nine days in the chapel in order to appease My Father and to entreat God's mercy for Poland. I answered the Lord that I would tell her, but that I must first speak about this with Father Andrasz, and I resolved that as soon as Father comes I will speak to him at once about this matter. When Father arrived, the circumstances were such that they prevented me from seeing him, but I should not have paid any attention to the circumstances and should have gone and settled the matter. I thought to myself, "Well, I'll do it when he comes again."


Oh, how much that displeased God! In one moment, the presence of God left me, that great presence of God which is continuously within me in a distinctly felt way. At that moment, however, it completely left me. Darkness dominated my soul to such an extent that I did not know whether I was in the state of grace or not. Therefore, I did not receive Holy Communion for four days, after which I saw Father Andrasz and told him everything. He comforted me, saying, "You have not lost the grace of God, but all the same, be true to Him." The moment I left the confessional, God's presence enveloped me as before. I understood that God's grace must be received just as God sends it, in the way He wants, and one must receive it in that form under which God sends it to us. .


O my Jesus, I am making at this very moment a firm and eternal resolution by virtue of Your grace and mercy, fidelity to the tiniest grace of Yours.


All night long, I was preparing to receive Holy Communion, since I could not sleep because of physical suffering. My soul was flooded with love and repentance.


After Holy Communion, I heard these words:- You see what you are of yourself, but do not be frightened at this. If I were to reveal to you the whole misery that you are, you would die of terror. However, be aware of what you are. Because you are such great misery, I have revealed to you the whole ocean of My mercy. I seek and desire souls like yours, but they are few. Your great trust in Me forces Me to continuously grant you graces. You have great and incomprehensible rights over My Heart, for you are a daughter of complete trust. You would not have been able to bear the magnitude of the love which I have for you if I had revealed it to you fully here on earth. I often give you a glimpse of it, but know that this is only an exceptional grace from Me. My love and mercy knows no bounds.


Today, I heard these words: Know, my child, that for your sake I grant blessings to this whole vicinity. But you ought to thank Me on their behalf, as they do not thank Me for the kindnesses I extend to them. For the sake of your gratitude, I will continue to bless them.


O my Jesus, You know how difficult community life is, how many misunderstandings and misconceptions, despite at times the most sincere good will on both sides. But that is Your mystery, O Lord. We shall know it in eternity; however, our judgments should always be mild.


It is a great, an immeasurably great grace of God to have a spiritual director. I feel now that, without him, I would not be able to journey alone in my spiritual life. Great is the power of a priest. I thank God unceasingly for giving me a spiritual director.


+ Today, I heard these words: You see how weak you are, so when shall I be able to count on you? I answered, "Jesus, be always with me, for I am Your little child. Jesus, You know what little children do."


+ Today, I heard these words: The graces I grant you are not for you alone, but for a great number of other souls as well... And your heart is My constant dwelling place, despite the misery that you are. I unite Myself with you, take away your misery and give you My mercy. I perform works of mercy in every soul. The greater the sinner, the greater the right he has to My mercy. My mercy is confirmed in every work of My hands. He who trusts in My mercy will not perish, for all his affairs are Mine, and his enemies will be shattered at the base of My footstool.


On the eve of the retreat, I started to pray that the Lord Jesus might give me just a little health so that I could take part in the retreat, because I was feeling so ill that I thought perhaps it might be my last. However, as soon as I had started praying I felt a strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the prayer of supplication and began to thank the Lord for everything He sends me, submitting myself completely to His holy will. Then I felt profound peace of soul. + Faithful submission to the will of God, always and everywhere, in all events and circumstances of life, gives great glory to God. Such submission to the will of God carries more weight with Him than long fasts, mortifications and the most severe penances. Oh, how great is the reward for one act of loving submission to the will of God! As I write, my soul is enraptured at the thought of how much God loves it and of the peace that my soul already enjoys, here on earth.

+ J.M.J. Cracow, 1936
O Divine Will, be my love!


+ Eight-day Retreat, October 20, 1936.

My Jesus, I am going into the wilderness today to speak only with You, my Master and my Lord. Let the earth be silent, and You alone speak to me, Jesus. You know that I understand no other voice but Yours, O Good Shepherd. In the dwelling of my heart is that wilderness to which no creature has access. There, You alone are King.


+When I entered the chapel for a five-minute adoration, I asked the Lord Jesus how I should conduct myself during this retreat. Then I heard this voice in my soul: I desire that you be entirely transformed into love and that you burn ardently as a pure victim of love...


Eternal Truth, give me a ray of Your light that I may come to know You, O Lord, and worthily glorify Your infinite mercy. And at the same time, grant me to know myself, the whole abyss of misery that I am


+ I have chosen Saint Claude de la Colombiere and Saint Gertrude as my patron saints for this retreat, that they may intercede for me before the Mother of God and the merciful Savior.


During the meditation on creation... at a certain point, my soul became closely united to its Lord and Creator. In this union, I recognized the purpose and destiny of my life. My purpose is to become closely united to God through love, and my destiny is to praise and glorify God's mercy.

The Lord has allowed me to know and experience this in a distinct and even physical way. I become lost in admiration when I recognize and experience this incomprehensible love of God with which God loves me. Who is God-and what am I? I cannot meditate on this any further. Only love can understand this meeting of two spirits, namely, God-who-is-Spirit and the soul-who-is-creature. The more I know Him, the more completely with all the strength of my being I drown in Him.


+ In this retreat, I shall keep you continually close to My Heart, that you may better know My mercy, that mercy which I have for people and especially for poor sinners.


On the initial day of the retreat, I was visited by one of the sisters [143] who had come to make her perpetual vows. She confided to me that she had no trust in God and became discouraged at every little thing. I answered her, "It is well that you have told me this, Sister; I will pray for you." And I spoke a few words to her about how much distrust hurts the Lord Jesus, especially distrust on the part of a chosen soul. She told me that, beginning with her perpetual vows, she would practice trust. Now I know that even [some] souls that are chosen and welladvanced in the religious life or the spiritual life do not have the courage to entrust themselves completely to God. And this is so because few souls know the unfathomable mercy of God and His great goodness.


+ The great majesty of God which pervaded me today and still pervades me awoke in me a great fear, but a fear filled with respect, and not the fear of a slave, which is quite different from the fear of respect. This fear animated by respect arose in my heart today because of love and the knowledge of the greatness of God, and that is a great joy to the soul. The soul trembles before the smallest offense against God; but that does not trouble or darken its happiness. There, where love is in charge, all is well.


It sometimes happens, while I am listening to the meditation, that one word puts me in very close union with the Lord, and I no longer know what Father [144] is saying. I know that I am close to the most merciful Heart of Jesus; my whole spirit is entirely plunged in Him, and in one moment I learn more than during long hours of intellectual inquiry and meditation. These are sudden lights which permit me to know things as God sees them, regarding matters of both the interior and the exterior world.


I see that Jesus himself is acting in my soul during this retreat. And as for me, I try only to be faithful to His grace. I have submitted my soul completely to the influence of God. This Mighty Ruler of Heaven has taken entire possession of my soul. I feel that I am being lifted up above earth and heaven into the inner life of God, where I come to know the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, but always in the unity of majesty.


+ I will enclose myself in the chalice of Jesus so that I may comfort Him continually. I will do everything within my power to save souls, and I will do it through prayer and suffering.

+I try always to be a Bethany for Jesus, so that He may rest here after all His labors. In Holy Communion, my union with Jesus is so intimate and incomprehensible that even if I wanted to describe it in writing I could not do so, because I lack the words.


This evening, I saw the Lord Jesus just as He was during His Passion. His eyes were raised up to His Father, and He was praying for us. I %-I


+ Although I was ill, I made up my mind to make a Holy Hour today as usual. During that hour, I saw the Lord Jesus being scourged at the pillar. In the midst of this frightful torture, Jesus was praying. After a while, He said to me, There are few souls who contemplate My Passion with true feeling; I give great graces to souls who meditate devoutly on My Passion.


+ Without special help from Me, you are not even capable of accepting My graces. You know who you are.


After Holy Communion today, I spoke at length to the Lord Jesus about people who are special to me. Then I heard these words: My daughter, don't be exerting yourself so much with words. Those whom you love in a special way, I too love in a special way, and for your sake, I shower My graces upon them. I am pleased when you tell Me about them, but don't be doing so with such excessive effort.


+ O Savior of the world. I unite myself with Your mercy. My Jesus, I join all my sufferings to Yours and deposit them in the treasury of the Church for the benefit of souls.


Today, I was led by an Angel to the chasms of hell. It is a place of great torture; how awesomely large and extensive it is! The kinds of tortures I saw: the first torture that constitutes hell is the loss of God; the second is perpetual remorse of conscience; the third is that one's condition will never change; the fourth is the fire that will penetrate the soul without destroying it-a terrible suffering, since it is a purely spiritual fire, lit by God's anger; the fifth torture is continual darkness and a terrible suffocating smell, and, despite the darkness, the devils and the souls of the damned see each other and all the evil, both of others and their own; the sixth torture is the constant company of Satan; the seventh torture is horrible despair, hatred of God, vile words, curses and blasphemies. These are the tortures suffered by all the damned together, but that is not the end of the sufferings. There are special tortures destined for particular souls. These are the torments of the senses. Each soul undergoes terrible and indescribable sufferings, related to the manner in which it has sinned. There are caverns and pits of torture where one form of agony differs from another. I would have died at the very sight of these tortures if the omnipotence of God had not supported me. Let the sinner know that he will be tortured throughout all eternity, in those senses which he made use of to sin. I am writing this at the command of God, so that no soul may find an excuse by saying there is no hell, or that nobody has ever been there, and so no one can say what it is like.

I, Sister Faustina, by the order of God, have visited the abysses of hell so that I might tell souls about it and testify to its existence. I cannot speak about it now; but I have received a command from God to leave it in writing. The devils were full of hatred for me, but they had to obey me at the command of God. What I have written is but a pale shadow of the things I saw. But I noticed one thing: that most of the souls there are those who disbelieved that there is a hell. When I came to, I could hardly recover from the fright. How terribly souls suffer there! Consequently, I pray even more fervently for the conversion of sinners. I incessantly plead God's mercy upon them. O my Jesus, I would rather be in agony until the end of the world, amidst the greatest sufferings, than offend You by the least sin.

+ J.M.J.


My daughter, if I demand through you that people revere My mercy, you should be the first to distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it.

I am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the first-by deed, the second-by word, the third-by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes, the first Sunday after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be acts of mercy, and I demand the worship of My mercy through the solemn celebration of the Feast and through the veneration of the image which is painted. By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminder of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest faith is of no avail without works. O my Jesus, You yourself must help me in everything, because You see how very little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God.

+ Particular Examen
Union with the merciful Christ. With my heart I encompass the whole world, especially countries which are uncivilized or where there is persecution. I am praying for mercy upon them.


Two general resolutions:

First: To strive after inner silence and to observe the rule of silence strictly.

Second: Faithfulness to interior inspirations; to bring them into my life and actions according to the advice of my spiritual director.

In this present illness, I desire to glorify the will of God. I will try, as far as I am able, to take part in all the community exercises. I will give the Lord God fervent thanks for every sorrow and suffering.


+ I often feel that, apart from Jesus, I get no help from anyone, although sometimes I am very much in need of clarifications concerning the demands of the Lord.

This evening, I suddenly received light from God regarding a certain matter. For twelve years, I have been reflecting on a certain matter and could not understand it. Today, Jesus gave me to know how much that had pleased Him.

The Feast of Christ the King. [October 25, 1936]


During Holy Mass, I was so enveloped in the great interior fire of God's love and the desire to save souls that I do not know how to express it. I feel I am all aflame. I shall fight all evil with the weapon of mercy. I am being burned up by the desire to save souls. I traverse the world's length and breadth and venture as far as its ultimate limits and its wildest lands to save souls. I do this through prayer and sacrifice. I want every soul to glorify the mercy of God, for each one experiences the effects of that mercy on himself. The Saints in heaven worship the mercy of the Lord. I want to worship it even now, here on earth, and to spread devotion to it in the way that God demands of me.


I have understood that at certain and most difficult moments I shall be alone, deserted by everyone, and that I must face all the storms and fight with all the strength of my soul, even with those from whom I expected to get help.

But I am not alone, because Jesus is with me, and with Him I fear nothing. I am well aware of everything, and I know what God is demanding of me. Suffering, contempt, ridicule, persecution and humiliation will be my constant lot. I know no other way. For sincere love-ingratitude; this is my path, marked out by the footprints of Jesus.

My Jesus, my strength and my only hope, in You alone is all my hope. My trust will not be frustrated.


The day of renewal of vows [Friday, October 30, 1936]. God's presence pervades my soul, not only in a spiritual way, but I feel it in a physical way also.


November 2, [1936]. In the evening after Vespers, I went to the cemetery [in the sisters' park]. I had been praying for a while when I saw one of our sisters, who said to me, "We are in the chapel." I understood that I was to go to the chapel and there pray and gain the indulgences. The next day, during Holy Mass, I saw three white doves soaring from the altar toward heaven. I understood that not only the three souls that I saw had gone to heaven, but also many others who had died beyond the confines of our institute. Oh, how good and merciful is the Lord!


Conversation with Father Andrasz, at the end of the retreat. I was greatly surprised by one thing that I noticed during each conversation in the course of which I had asked advice and direction of Father Andrasz, and it is this: I noticed that Father Andrasz answered all my questions about things which the Lord has asked of me so clearly and with such assurance that it was as though he were experiencing it all himself. O my Jesus, if only there were more spiritual directors of this kind, souls under such guidance would very quickly reach the summits of sanctity and would not waste such great graces! I give unceasing thanks to God for so great a grace; namely, that in His great goodness He has deigned to place these pillars of light along the path of my spiritual life. They light my way so that I do not go astray or become delayed in my journey toward close union with the Lord. I have a great love for the Church, which educates souls and leads them to God.


October 31, 1936. Conversation with Mother General [Michael].

When I was talking to Mother General about the question of my leaving the Order, I received this answer: "If Jesus demands of you that you leave this Congregation, let Him give me some sign that this is His will. Sister, pray for such a sign, because I am worried lest you should fall prey to some illusion. On the other hand, I would not want to hinder or oppose the will of God, for I too want to do the will of God." And so, we agreed that I will still remain just as I am, until such time as the Lord will let Mother General know that He demands that I leave this Congregation. And so the matter was put off for a while.


Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II:  751 – 800 )

Notebook 2


And so You see, Jesus, that everything is now up to You. I am perfectly at peace, despite these great urgings. For my part, I have done everything, and it is now Your turn, my Jesus, and in this way Your cause will be made apparent. I am totally in accord with Your will; do with me as You please, O Lord, but only grant me the grace of loving You more and more ardently. This is what is most precious to me. I desire nothing but You, O Love Eternal! It matters not along what paths You will lead me, paths of pain or paths of joy. I want to love You at every moment of my life. If You tell me to leave, O Jesus, in order to carry out Your will, I will leave. If You tell me to stay, I will stay. It matters not what I will suffer, in the one instance or the other. O my Jesus, if I leave, I know what I shall have to suffer and endure. I agreed to this with full awareness, and I have already accepted it by an act of the will. It does not matter what the chalice holds for me. It is enough for me to know that it has been given to me by the loving hand of God. If you tell me to turn back and stay, I will stay in spite of all the interior urgings. If You still keep them in my soul and leave me in this inner agony even to the end of my life, I accept this in the full consciousness of my will and in loving submission to You, O my God. If I stay, I shall hide myself in Your mercy, my God, so deeply that no human eye will see me. Throughout my life, I want to be a thurible filled with hidden fire, and may the smoke rising up to You, 0 Living Host, be pleasing to You. I'll feel in my own heart that every little sacrifice arouses the fire of my love for You, but in such a silent and secret way that no one will detect it.


When I told Mother General that the Lord wanted the Congregation to say the chaplet in order to propitiate God's anger, Mother told me that at present she could not introduce new prayers that had not yet been approved... "But give me the chaplet, Sister, [she said;] perhaps it can be said during an adoration. We shall see. It would be good if Father Sopocko could publish a pamphlet with the chaplet; then it would be better and easier to recite it in the Congregation, for it is a bit difficult to do so now."


The mercy of the Lord is praised by the holy souls in heaven who have themselves experienced that infinite mercy. What these souls do in heaven, I already will begin to do here on earth. I will praise God for His infinite goodness, and I will strive to bring other souls to know and glorify the inexpressible and incomprehensible mercy of God.


+The Lord's Promise: The souls that say this chaplet will be embraced by My mercy during their lifetime and especially at the hour of their death.


O my Jesus, teach me to open the bosom of mercy and love to everyone who asks for it. Jesus, my Commander, teach me so that all my prayers and deeds may bear the seal of Your mercy.


November 18, 1936. Today, I tried to make all my exercises before Benediction, because I was feeling more ill than usual. So I went to bed directly after Benediction. But when I entered the bedroom, I suddenly knew interiorly that I should go to the cell of S.N., [145] because she was in need of help. I entered her cell at once, and S.N. said to me, "Oh, how good it is that God has brought you here, Sister!" And her voice was so faint that I could hardly hear her. She said to me, "Sister, please bring me some tea with lemon, because I am terribly thirsty, and I cannot move because I am in such pain." And truly, she was suffering very much and had a high fever. I made her more comfortable, and she was able to quench her thirst with the little bit of tea that I brought her. When I entered my own cell, my soul was engulfed by the great love of God, and I understood that we should take great heed of our interior inspirations and follow them faithfully, and that faithfulness to one grace draws down others.


November 19, [1936]. During Mass today, I saw the Lord Jesus, who said to me, Be at peace, My daughter; I see your efforts, which are very pleasing to Me. And the Lord disappeared, and it was time for Holy Communion. After I received Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the Cenacle and in it Jesus and the Apostles. I saw the institution of the Most Blessed Sacrament. Jesus allowed me to penetrate His interior, and I came to know the greatness of His majesty and, at the same time, His great humbling of Himself. The extraordinary light that allowed me to see His majesty revealed to me, at the same time, what was in my own soul.


Jesus gave me to know the depth of His meekness and humility and to understand that He clearly demanded the same of me. I felt the gaze of God in my soul. This filled me with unspeakable love, but I understood that the Lord was looking with love on my virtues and my heroic efforts, and I knew that this was what was drawing God into my heart. It is from this that I have come to understand that it is not enough for me to strive only for the ordinary virtues, but that I must try to exercise the heroic virtues. Although exteriorly a thing may be quite ordinary, it is the different manner [in which it is carried out] that only the eye of God catches. O my Jesus, what I have written is just a pale shadow of what I understand in my soul; these are purely spiritual things, but in order to write something of what the Lord gives me to know, I must use words with which I am totally dissatisfied, because they do not express the reality.


When I experienced these sufferings for the first time, it was like this: after the annual vows, [146] on a certain day, during prayer, I saw a great brilliance and, issuing from the brilliance, rays which completely enveloped me. Then suddenly, I felt a terrible pain in my hands, my feet and my side and the thorns of the crown of thorns. I experienced these sufferings during Holy Mass on Friday, but this was only for a brief moment. This was repeated for several Fridays, and later on I did not experience any sufferings up to the present time; that is, up to the end of September of this year. In the course of the present illness, during Holy Mass one Friday, I felt myself pierced by the same sufferings, and this has been repeated on every Friday and sometimes when I meet a soul that is not in the state of grace. Although this is infrequent, and the suffering lasts a very short time, still it is terrible, and I would not be able to bear it without a special grace from God. There is no outward indication of these sufferings. What will come later, I do not know. All this, for the sake of souls...


November 21, [1936]. Jesus, You see that I am neither gravely ill nor in good health. You fill my soul with enthusiasm for action, and I have no strength. The fire of Your love burns in me, and for what I cannot accomplish by physical strength, love will compensate.


Jesus, my spirit yearns for You, and I desire very much to be united with You, but Your works hold me back. The number of souls that I am to bring to You is not yet complete. I desire toil and suffering; let everything You have planned before the ages be fulfilled in me, O my Creator and Lord! It is only Your word that I understand; it alone gives me strength. Your Spirit, O Lord, is the Spirit of Peace; and nothing troubles my depths because You dwell there, O Lord.

I know that I am under Your special gaze, O Lord. I do not examine with fear Your plans regarding me; my task is to accept everything from Your hand. I do not fear anything, although the storm is raging, and frightful bolts strike all around me, and I then feel quite alone. Yet, my heart senses You, and my trust grows, and I see all Your omnipotence which upholds me. With You, Jesus, I go through life, amid storms and rainbows, with a cry of joy, singing the song of Your mercy. I will not stop singing my song of love until the choir of Angels picks it up. There is no power that can stop me in my flight toward God. I see that even the superiors do not always understand the road along which God is leading me, and I am not surprised at this.


Once, I saw Father Sopocko praying as he was reflecting on these matters. Then I saw how a ring of light appeared suddenly above his head. Although distance separates us, I often see him, especially as he works at his desk, despite his fatigue.


November 22, [1936]. Today during confession, the Lord Jesus spoke to me through the lips of a certain priest. This priest did not know my soul, and I only accused myself of my sins; yet he spoke these words to me: "Accomplish faithfully everything that Jesus asks of you, despite the difficulties. Know that, although people may be angry with you, Jesus is not angry and never will be angry with you. Pay no attention to human opinion." This instruction surprised me at first; but I understood that the Lord was speaking through him without his realizing it. O holy mystery, what great treasures are contained in you! O holy faith, you are my guidepost!


November 24. Today, I received a letter from Father Sopocko. [147] I learned from it that God himself is conducting this whole affair. And as the Lord has begun it, so will He continue to carry it along. And the greater the difficulties which I see, the more am I at peace. Oh, if in this whole matter the glory of God and the profit to souls were not greatly served, Satan would not be opposing it so much. But he senses what he is going to lose because of it. I have now learned that Satan hates mercy more than anything else. It is his greatest torment. Still, the word of God will not pass away; God's utterance is living; difficulties will not suppress the works of God, but show that they are God's...


On one occasion, I saw the convent of the new congregation. [148] As I walked about, inspecting everything, I suddenly saw a crowd of children who seemed to be no older than five to eleven years of age. When they saw me they surrounded me and began to cry out, "Defend us from evil," and they led me into the chapel which was in this convent. When I entered the chapel, I saw the distressful Lord Jesus. Jesus looked at me graciously and said that He was gravely offended by children: You are to defend them from evil. From that moment, I have been praying for children, but I feel that prayer alone is not enough.


O my Jesus, you know what efforts are needed to live sincerely and unaffectedly with those from whom our nature flees, or with those who, deliberately or not, have made us suffer. Humanly speaking, this is impossible. At such times more than at others, I try to discover the Lord Jesus in such a person and for this same Jesus, I do everything for such people. In such acts, love is pure, and such practice of love gives the soul endurance and strength. I do not expect anything from creatures, and therefore I am not disappointed. I know that a creature is poor of itself, so what can one expect from it? God is everything for me; I want to evaluate everything according to God's ways.


+ My communion with the Lord is now purely spiritual. My soul is touched by God and wholly absorbs itself in Him, even to the complete forgetfulness of self. Permeated by God to its very depths, it drowns in His beauty; it completely dissolves in Him-I am at a loss to describe this, because in writing I am making use of the senses; but there, in that union, the senses are not active; there is a merging of God and the soul; and the life of God to which the soul is admitted is so great that the human tongue cannot express it.

When the soul returns to its habitual form of life, it then sees that this life is all darkness and mist and dreamlike confusion, an infant's swaddling clothes. In such moments the soul only receives from God, for of itself it does nothing; it does not make even the slightest effort; all in her is wrought by God. But when the soul returns to its ordinary state, it sees that it is not within its power to continue in this union.

These moments are short, but their effects are lasting. The soul cannot remain long in this state; or else it would be forcibly freed of the bonds of the body forever. Even as it is, it is sustained by a miracle of God. God allows the soul to know in a clear way how much He loves it, as though it were the only object of His delight. The soul recognizes this clearly and without a veil, so to speak. It reaches out for God with all its might, but it feels like a baby; it knows that this is not within its power. Therefore, God descends to the soul and unites it to himself in a way that... here, I must be silent, for I cannot describe what the soul experiences.


It is a strange thing that although the soul which experiences this union with God cannot find words and expressions to describe it, nevertheless, when it meets a similar soul, the two understand each other extraordinarily well in regard to these matters, even though they speak but little with each other. A soul united with God in this way easily recognizes a similar soul, even if the latter has not revealed its interior [life] to it, but merely speaks in an ordinary way. It is a kind of spiritual kinship. Souls united with God in this way are few, fewer than we think.


I have noticed that the Lord grants this grace to souls for two purposes. The first is when the soul is to do some great work which is, humanly speaking, absolutely beyond its power. In the second case, I have noticed that the Lord grants it in order that kindred souls might be guided and set at peace, although the Lord can grant this grace as He pleases and to whomever He pleases. However, I have noticed this grace in three priests, one of whom is a secular priest [probably Father Sopocko] and the other two, religious priests [probably Father Elter and Father Andrasz], and also in two religious sisters [probably Mother Michael and Sister Mary Joseph], but not in the same degree.


As for myself, I received this grace for the first time, and that for only a brief moment, in the eighteenth [149] year of my life, within the octave of Corpus Christi [June 18-25, 1925], during Vespers, when I made to the Lord Jesus the vow of perpetual chastity. I was still living in the world, but I entered the convent soon afterwards. The grace lasted for a very brief moment, but its power was great. After this grace, there was a long interval. It is true that I received many graces from the Lord during this interval, but they were of a different order. It was a time of trials and purification. The trials were so painful that my soul felt as though it was being totally abandoned by God and it was steeped in profound darkness. I became aware and understood that no one would be able to bring me out of those torments or even understand me.

There were two occasions when my soul was plunged into despair, once for half an hour, and the second time for three quarters of an hour. Just as I cannot describe the greatness of the graces, so too with these ordeals sent by the Lord; whatever words I might use, they are only a pale shadow [of the reality]. However, just as the Lord plunged me into these torments, so too He brought me out of them. Only this lasted for a few years, after which I again received this extraordinary grace of union which has continued to this day. Still, during this second period of union, there also have been short interruptions. But for some time now, I have not experienced any interruption at all; on the contrary, I am more and more deeply steeped in God. The great light which illumines the mind gives me a knowledge of the greatness of God; but it is not as if I were getting to know the individual attributes, as before-no, it is different now: in one moment, I come to know the entire essence of God.


In that same moment, the soul drowns entirely in Him and experiences a happiness as great as that of the chosen ones in heaven. Although the chosen ones in heaven see God face to face and are completely and absolutely happy, still their knowledge of God is not the same. God has given me to understand this. This deeper knowledge begins here on earth, depending on the grace [given], but to a great extent it also depends on our faithfulness to that grace.

However, the soul receiving this unprecedented grace of union with God cannot say that it sees God face to face, because even here there is a very thin veil of faith, but so very thin that the soul can say that it sees God and talks with Him. It is "divinized." God allows the soul to know how much He loves it, and the soul sees that better and holier souls than itself have not received this grace. Therefore, it is filled with holy amazement, which maintains it in deep humility, and it steeps itself in its own nothingness and holy astonishment; and the more it humbles itself, the more closely God unites himself with it and descends to it.

The soul, at this moment is, as it were, hidden; its senses are inactive; in one moment, it knows God and drowns in Him. It knows the whole depth of the Unfathomable One, and the deeper this knowledge, the more ardently the soul desires Him.


Great is the mutual exchange between the soul and God. When the soul leaves its concealment, the senses get a taste of what the soul has delighted in. Although this also is a great grace from God, it is not a purely spiritual one, for in the first moments the senses do not take part. Every grace gives the soul power and strength to act, and courage to suffer. The soul knows very well what God is asking of it, and it carries out His holy will despite adversities.


Yet, the soul cannot proceed on its own in these matters. It must follow the advice of an enlightened confessor, for otherwise it could go astray or gain no profit.


+ O my Jesus, I understand well that, just as illness is measured with a thermometer, and a high fever tells us of the seriousness of the illness, so also, in the spiritual life, suffering is the thermometer which measures the love of God in a soul.


+ My goal is God... and my happiness is in accomplishing His will, and nothing in the world can disturb this happiness for me: no power, no force of any kind.


The Lord visited my cell today and said to me, My daughter, I will not leave you in this community for much longer. I am telling you this so that you will be more diligent in taking advantage of the graces which I grant you.


November 27, [1936]. Today I was in heaven, in spirit, and I saw its inconceivable beauties and the happiness that awaits us after death. I saw how all creatures give ceaseless praise and glory to God. I saw how great is happiness in God, which spreads to all creatures, making them happy; and then all the glory and praise which springs from this happiness returns to its source; and they enter into the depths of God, contemplating the inner life of God, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, whom they will never comprehend or fathom.

This source of happiness is unchanging in its essence, but it is always new, gushing forth happiness for all creatures. Now I understand Saint Paul, who said, "Eye has not seen, nor has ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man what God has prepared for those who love Him."


And God has given me to understand that there is but one thing that is of infinite value in His eyes, and that is love of God; love, love and once again, love; and nothing can compare with a single act of pure love of God. Oh, with what inconceivable favors God gifts a soul that loves Him sincerely! Oh, how happy is the soul who already here on earth enjoys His special favors! And of such are the little and humble souls.


The sight of this great majesty of God, which I came to understand more profoundly and which is worshiped by the heavenly spirits according to their degree of grace and the hierarchies into which they are divided, did not cause my soul to be stricken with terror or fear; no, no, not at all! My soul was filled with peace and love, and the more I come to know the greatness of God, the more joyful I become that He is as He is. And I rejoice immensely in His greatness and am delighted that I am so little because, since I am little, He carries me in His arms and holds me close to His Heart.


O my God, how I pity those people who do not believe in eternal life; how I pray for them that a ray of mercy would envelop them too, and that God would clasp them to His fatherly bosom.


O Love, O queen! Love knows no fear. It passes through all the choirs of angels that stand on guard before His throne. It will fear no one. It reaches God and is immersed in Him as in its sole treasure. The Cherubim who guards paradise with flaming sword, has no power over it. O pure love of God, how great and unequalled you are! Oh, if souls only knew your power!


+ I am very weak today. I cannot even make my meditation in the chapel, but must lie down. O my Jesus, I love You, and I want to worship You with my very weakness, submitting myself entirely to Your holy will.


+ I must be on my guard, especially today, because I am becoming over-sensitive to everything. Things I would not pay any attention to when I am healthy bother me today. O my Jesus, my shield and my strength, grant me Your grace that I may emerge victorious from these combats. O my Jesus, transform me into Yourself by the power of Your love, that I may be a worthy tool in proclaiming Your mercy.


+ I thank God for this illness and these physical discomforts, because I have time to converse with the Lord Jesus. It is my delight to spend long hours at the feet of the hidden God, and the hours pass like minutes as I lose track of time. I feel that a fire is burning within me, and I understand no other life but that of sacrifice, which flows from pure love.


November 29,[1936]. The Mother of God has taught me how to prepare for the Feast of Christmas. I saw Her today, without the Infant Jesus. She said to me: My daughter, strive after silence and humility, so that Jesus, who dwells in your heart continuously, may be able to rest. Adore Him in your heart; do not go out from your inmost being. My daughter, I shall obtain for you the grace of an interior life which will be such that, without ever leaving that interior life, you will be able to carry out all your external duties with even greater care. Dwell with Him continuously in your own heart. He will be your strength. Communicate with creatures only in so far as is necessary and is required by your duties. You are a dwelling place pleasing to the living God, in you He dwells continuously with love and delight. And the living presence of God, which you experience in a more vivid and distinct way, will confirm you, my daughter, in the things I have told you. Try to act in this way until Christmas Day, and then He himself will make known to you in what way you will be communing and uniting yourself with Him.


November 30, [1936]. During Vespers today, an unusual pain pierced my soul. I see that, in every respect, this work is beyond my strength. I am a little child before the immensity of the task, and it is only at the Lord's clear command that I am setting about to carry it out. On the other hand, even these great graces are a burden for me, and I am barely able to carry them. I see my superiors' disbelief and doubts of all kinds and, for this reason, their apprehensive behavior towards me. My Jesus, I see that even such great graces can be [a source of] suffering. And yet, it is so; not only may they be a cause of suffering, but they must be such, as a sign of God's action. I understand well that if God himself did not strengthen the soul in these various ordeals, the soul would not be able to master the situation. Thus God himself is its shield.

As I continued Vespers, meditating on this mixture of suffering and grace, I heard the voice of Our Lady: Know, My daughter, that although I was raised to the dignity of Mother of God, seven swords of pain pierced My heart. Don't do anything to defend yourself, bear everything with humility; God himself will defend you.

December 1, [1936]. One-day retreat.


Today, during the morning meditation, the Lord gave me to see and understand clearly that His demands are unchangeable. I see clearly that no one can release me from the duty of doing the known will of God. A great lack of health and physical strength is not a sufficient reason and does not release me from this work that the Lord himself is carrying out through me. I am to be just a tool in His hands. And so, O Lord, here I am to carry out Your will. Command me according to Your eternal plans and desires. Only give me the grace that I may always be faithful to You.


As I was conversing with the hidden God, He gave me to see and understand that I should not be reflecting so much and building up fear of the difficulties which I might encounter. Know that I am with you; I bring about the difficulties, and I overcome them; in one instant, I can change a hostile disposition to one which is favorable to this cause. The Lord explained many things to me in today's dialogue, although I am not putting everything in writing.


Always and in all circumstances, yield the first place to others; especially during recreation listen quietly, without interrupting, even if someone tells me the same thing ten times. I will never ask questions about something that interests me very much.


Resolution: still the same; namely, to unite myself with the Merciful Christ.

General resolution: interior calm, silence.


Hide me, Jesus, in the depths of Your mercy, and then let my neighbor judge me as he pleases.


I must never speak of my own experiences. In suffering, I must seek relief in prayer. In doubts, even the smallest, I must seek only the advice of my confessor. I must always have a heart which is open to receive the sufferings of others, and drown my own sufferings in the Divine Heart so that they would not be noticed on the outside, in so far as possible.

I must always strive for equanimity, no matter how stormy the circumstances might be. I must not allow anything to disturb my interior calm and silence. Nothing can compare with peace of soul. When I am wrongfully accused of something, I will not explain myself; if the superior wants to know the truth, whether I was in the right or not, let her find out from others rather than from me. My concern is to accept everything with a humble inner disposition.

I will spend this Advent in accordance with the directions of the Mother of God: in meekness and humility.


I am reliving these moments with Our Lady. With great longing, I am waiting for the Lord's coming. Great are my desires. I desire that all humankind come to know the Lord. I would like to prepare all nations for the coming of the Word Incarnate. O Jesus, make the fount of Your mercy gush forth more abundantly, for humankind is seriously ill and thus has more need than ever of Your compassion. You are a bottomless sea of mercy for us sinners; and the greater the misery, the more right we have to Your mercy. You are a fount which makes all creatures happy by Your infinite mercy.


Today [December 9, 1936], I am leaving for Pradnik, just outside Cracow, to undergo treatment. I am to stay there for three months. I am being sent there through the great solicitude of my superiors, especially that of our dear Mother General [Michael], who is so solicitous for the sisters who are ill.


I have accepted the favor of this treatment, but I am fully resigned to the will of God. Let God do with me as He pleases. I desire nothing but the fulfillment of His holy will. I am uniting myself with the Mother of God, and I am leaving Nazareth and going to Bethlehem. I will spend Christmas there among strangers, but with Jesus, Mary and Joseph, because such is the will of God. I am striving to do the will of God in all things. I do not desire a return to health more than death. I entrust myself completely to His infinite mercy and, as a little child, I am living in the greatest peace. I am trying only to make my love for Him deeper and purer, to be a delight to His divine glance...


The Lord told me to say this chaplet for nine days before the Feast of Mercy. It is to begin on Good Friday. By this novena, I will grant every possible grace to souls.


When I was somewhat overcome by the fear that I was to be outside the community for so long a time alone, Jesus said to me, You will not be alone, because I am with you always and everywhere. Near to My Heart, fear nothing. I myself am the cause of your departure. Know that My eyes follow every move of your heart with great attention. I am bringing you into seclusion so that I myself may form your heart according to My future plans. What are you afraid of? If you are with Me, who will dare touch you? Nevertheless, I am very pleased that you confide your fears to Me, My daughter: Speak to Me about everything in a completely simple and human way; by this you will give Me great joy. I understand you because I am God-Man. This simple language of your heart is more pleasing to Me than the hymns composed in My honor. Know, My daughter, that the simpler your speech is, the more you attract Me to yourself. And now, be at peace close to My Heart. Lay your pen aside and get ready to leave.


December 9, 1936. This morning, I left for Pradnik. Sister Chrysostom drove me here. I have a private room to myself; I am very much like a Carmelite. When Sister Chrysostom had left and I was alone, I steeped myself in prayer, entrusting myself to the special protection of the Mother of God. She alone is always with me. She, like a good Mother, watches over all my trials and efforts.


Suddenly, I saw the Lord Jesus, who said to me, Be at peace, My child. See, you are not alone. My Heart watches over you. Jesus filled me with strength concerning a certain person. I feel strength within my soul. A moral principle.


If one does not know what is better, one must reflect, consider and seek advice, because one must not act with an uncertain conscience. When uncertain, say to . yourself: "Whatever I do will be good. I have the intention of doing good." The Lord God accepts what we consider good, and the Lord God also accepts and considers it as good. One should not worry if, after some time, one sees that these things are not good. God looks at the intention with which we begin, and will reward us accordingly. This is a principle which we ought to follow.


Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II:  801 – 850 )

Notebook 2


Today, I still managed to pay a short visit to the Lord [in the Eucharist] before going to bed. My spirit was immersed in Him as in its only treasure. My heart rested a while near the Heart of my Spouse. I received light as to how I should behave toward those around me, and then I returned to my solitude. The doctor is taking good care of me; all those around me are very kind to me.


December 10, [1936]. I got up earlier today and made my meditation before Holy Mass. Holy Mass is at six o'clock here. After Holy Communion my spirit was drowned in the Lord as in the sole object of its love. I felt absorbed by His omnipotence. When I came back to my private room, I felt sick and had to lie down at once. The sister [150] brought me some medication, but I felt bad all day. In the evening, I tried to make a Holy Hour, but I could not do so; all I could do was unite myself with the suffering Jesus.


My room is next to the men's ward. I didn't know that men were such chatterboxes. From morning till late at night, there is talk about various subjects. The women's ward is much quieter. It is women who are always blamed for this; but I have had occasion to be convinced that the opposite is true. It is very difficult for me to concentrate on my prayer in the midst of these jokes and this laughter. They do not disturb me when the grace of God takes complete possession of me, because then I do not know what is going on around me.


My Jesus, how little these people talk about You. They talk about everything but You, Jesus. And if they talk so little [about You], it is quite probable that they do not think about You at all. The whole world interests them; but about You, their Creator, there is silence. Jesus, I am sad to see this great indifference and ingratitude of creatures. O my Jesus, I want to love You for them and to make atonement to You, by my love.

Immaculate Conception of the Mother of God.


From early morning, I felt the nearness of the Blessed Mother. During Holy Mass, I saw Her, so lovely and so beautiful that I have no words to express even a small part of this beauty. She was all [in] white, with a blue sash around Her waist. Her cloak was also blue, and there was a crown on Her head. Marvelous light streamed forth from Her whole figure. I am the Queen of heaven and earth, but especially the Mother of your [Congregation]. She pressed me to Her heart and said, I feel constant compassion for you. I felt the force of Her Immaculate Heart which was communicated to my soul. Now I understand why I have been preparing for this feast for two months and have been looking forward to it with such yearning. From today onwards, I am going to strive for the greatest purity of soul, that the rays of God's grace may be reflected in all their brilliance. I long to be a crystal in order to find favor in His eyes.


+ That same day, I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko or Father Andrasz] who was surrounded by the light which flowed from Her; evidently, this soul loves the Immaculate One.


An extraordinary yearning fills my soul. I am surprised that it does not separate the soul from the body. I desire God; I want to become immersed in Him. I understand that I am in a terrible exile; my soul aspires for God with all its might. O you inhabitants of my fatherland, be mindful of this exile! When will the veils be lifted for me as well? Although I see and feel to a certain extent how very thin is the veil separating me from the Lord, I long to see Him face to face; but let everything be done according to Your will.


December 11. I could not assist at the whole Mass today; I assisted at only the most important parts, and after receiving Holy Communion I immediately returned to my solitude. The presence of God suddenly enveloped me, and at the same moment I felt the Passion of the Lord, for a very short while. During that moment, I attained a more profound knowledge of the work of mercy.


During the night, I was suddenly awakened and knew that some soul was asking me for prayer, and that it was in much need of prayer. Briefly, but with all my soul, I asked the Lord for grace for her.


The following afternoon, when I entered the ward, I saw someone dying, and learned that the agony had started during the night. When I verified it-it had been at the time when I had been asked for prayer. And just then, I heard a voice in my soul: Say the chaplet which I taught you. I ran to fetch my rosary and knelt down by the dying person and, with all the ardor of my soul, I began to say the chaplet. Suddenly the dying person opened her eyes and looked at me; I had not managed to finish the entire chaplet when she died, with extraordinary peace. I fervently asked the Lord to fulfill the promise He had given me for the recitation of the chaplet. The Lord gave me to know that the soul had been granted the grace He had promised me. That was the first soul to receive the benefit of the Lord's promise. I could feel the power of mercy envelop that soul.


When I entered my solitude, I heard these words: At the hour of their death, I defend as My own glory every soul that will say this chaplet; or when others say it for a dying person, the indulgence is the same. When this chaplet is said by the bedside of a dying person, God's anger is placated, unfathomable mercy envelops the soul, and the very depths of My tender mercy are moved for the sake of the sorrowful Passion of My Son.

Oh, if only everyone realized how great the Lord's mercy is and how much we all need that mercy, especially at that crucial hour!


+ Today I have fought a battle with the spirits of darkness over one soul. How terribly Satan hates God's mercy! I see how he opposes this whole work.


+ O merciful Jesus, stretched on the cross, be mindful of the hour of our death. O most merciful Heart of Jesus, opened with a lance, shelter me at the last moment of my life. O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of unfathomable mercy for me at the hour of my death, O dying Jesus, Hostage of mercy, avert the Divine wrath at the hour of my death.


+ December 12, [1936]. Today, I only received Holy Communion and stayed for a few moments of the Mass. All my strength is in You, O Living Bread. It would be difficult for me to live through the day if I did not receive Holy Communion. It is my shield; without You, Jesus, I know not how to live.


Jesus, my Love, today gave me to understand how much He loves me, although there is such an enormous gap between us, the Creator and the creature; and yet, in a way, there is something like equality: love fills up the gap. He himself descends to me and makes me capable of communing with Him. I immerse myself in Him, losing myself as it were; and yet, under His loving gaze, my soul gains strength and power and an awareness that it loves and is especially loved. It knows that the Mighty One protects it. Such prayer, though short, benefits the soul greatly, and whole hours of ordinary prayer do not give the soul that light which is given by a brief moment of this higher form of prayer.


+ This afternoon, I had my first open-air rest [on the sunny veranda at the sanatorium]. Sister Felicia [151] visited me today and brought a few necessary things and some lovely apples and words of greeting from our beloved Mother Superior and dear sisters.

December 13, [1936]. Confession before Jesus.


When I reflected that I had not been to confession for more than three weeks, I wept seeing the sinfulness of my soul and certain difficulties. I had not gone to confession because the circumstances made it impossible. On the day of confessions, I had been confined to bed. The following week, confessions were in the afternoon, and I had left for the hospital that morning. This afternoon, Father Andrasz came into my room and sat down to hear my confession. Beforehand, we did not exchange a single word. I was delighted because I was extremely anxious to go to confession. As usual, I unveiled my whole soul. Father gave a reply to each little detail. I felt unusually happy to be able to say everything as I did. For penance, he gave me the Litany of the Holy Name of Jesus. When I wanted to tell him of the difficulty I have in saying this litany, he rose and began to give me absolution. Suddenly his figure became diffused with a great light, and I saw that it was not Father A., but Jesus. His garments were bright as snow, and He disappeared immediately. At first, I was a little uneasy, but after a while a kind of peace entered my soul; and I took note of the fact that Jesus heard the confession in the same way that confessors do; and yet something was wondrously transpiring in my heart during this confession; I couldn't at first understand what it signified.


December 16, [1936]. I have offered this day for Russia. I have offered all my sufferings and prayers for that poor country. After Holy Communion, Jesus said to me, I cannot suffer that country any longer. Do not tie my hands, My daughter. I understood that if it had not been for the prayers of souls that are pleasing to God, that whole nation would have already been reduced to nothingness. Oh, how I suffer for that nation which has banished God from its borders!


+ O inexhaustible spring of Divine Mercy, pour yourself out upon us! Your Goodness knows no limits. Confirm, O Lord, the power of Your mercy over the abyss of my misery, for You have no limit to Your mercies. Wonderful and matchless is Your mercy, astonishing the human and angelic mind.


My Guardian Angel told me to pray for a certain soul, and in the morning I learned that it was a man whose agony had begun that very moment. The Lord Jesus makes it known to me in a special way when someone is in need of my prayer. I especially know when my prayer is needed by a dying soul. This happens more often now than it did in the past.


The Lord Jesus gave me to know how very pleasing to Him is a soul who lives in accordance with the will of God. It thereby gives very great glory to God...


I have come to understand today that even if I did not accomplish any of the things the Lord is demanding of me, I know that I shall be rewarded as if I had fulfilled everything, because He sees the intention with which I begin, and even if He called me to himself today, the work would not suffer at all by that, because He himself is the Lord of both the work and the worker. My part is to love Him to folly; all works are nothing more than a tiny drop before Him. It is love that has meaning and power and merit. He has opened up great horizons in my soul-love compensates for the chasms.


December 17, [1936]. I have offered this day for priests. I have suffered more today than ever before, both interiorly and exteriorly. I did not know it was possible to suffer so much in one day. I tried to make a Holy Hour, in the course of which my spirit had a taste of the bitterness of the Garden of Gethsemane. I am fighting alone, supported by His arm, against all the difficulties that face me like unassailable walls. But I trust in the power of His name and I fear nothing.


In this seclusion, Jesus himself is my Master. He himself educates and instructs me. I feel that I am the object of His special action. For His inscrutable purposes and unfathomable decrees, He unites me to Himself in a special way and allows me to penetrate His incomprehensible mysteries. There is one mystery which unites me with the Lord, of which no one-not even angels-may know. And even if I wanted to tell of it, I would not know how to express it. And yet, I live by it and will live by it for ever. This mystery distinguishes me from every other soul here on earth or in eternity.


+ O bright and clear day on which all my dreams will be fulfilled; O day so eagerly desired, the last day of my life! I look forward with joy to the last stroke the Divine Artist will trace on my soul, which will give my soul a unique beauty that will distinguish me from the beauty of other souls. O great day, on which divine love will be confirmed in me. On that day, for the first time, I shall sing before heaven and earth the song of the Lord's fathomless mercy. This is my work and the mission which the Lord has destined for me from the beginning of the world. That the song of my soul may be pleasing to the Holy Trinity, do You, O Spirit of God, direct and form my soul yourself. I arm myself with patience and await Your coming, O merciful God, and as to the terrible pains and fear of death, at this moment more than at any other time, I trust in the abyss of Your mercy and am reminding You, O merciful Jesus, sweet Savior, of all the promises You have made to me.


This morning I had an adventure. My watch had stopped, and I did not know when to get up, and I thought of what a misfortune it would be to miss Holy Communion. It was still dark, so I had no way of knowing whether it was time to get up. I dressed, made my meditation and went to the chapel, but everything was still locked, and silence reigned everywhere. I steeped myself in prayer, especially for the sick. I now see how much the sick have need of prayer. Finally, the chapel was opened. I found it difficult to pray because I was already feeling very exhausted, and immediately after Holy Communion I returned to my room. Then I saw the Lord, who said to me, Know, My daughter, that the ardor of your heart is pleasing to Me. And just as you desire ardently to become united with Me in Holy Communion, so too do I desire to give Myself wholly to you; and as a reward for your zeal, rest on My Heart. At that moment, my spirit was immersed in His Being, like a drop in a bottomless ocean. I drowned myself in Him as in my sole treasure. Thus I came to recognize that the Lord allows certain difficulties for His greater glory.


December 18, [1936]. Today I felt bad that a week had gone by and no one had come to visit me. [152] When I complained to the Lord, He answered, Isn't it enough for you that I visit you every day? I apologized to the Lord and the hurt vanished. O God, my strength, You are sufficient for me.


This evening, I learned that a certain soul was in need of my prayer. I prayed fervently, but felt that this was still not enough, so I continued to pray for a longer time. On the following day, I learned that the agony of a certain soul had started at just that time and had continued until morning. I recognized what struggles it had gone through. In a strange way, the Lord Jesus makes known to me that a dying soul has need of my prayer. I feel vividly and clearly that spirit who is asking me for prayer. I was not aware that souls are so closely united, and often it is my Guardian Angel who tells me.


During Holy Mass, the little Infant Jesus brings joy to my soul. Often, distance does not exist - I see a certain priest who brings Him down. I am awaiting Christmas with great yearning; I am living in expectation together with the Most Holy Mother.


O Light Eternal, who come to this earth, enlighten my mind and strengthen my will that I may not give up in times of great affliction. May Your light dissipate all the shadows of doubt. May Your omnipotence act through me. I trust in You, O uncreated Light! You, O Infant Jesus, are a model for me in accomplishing Your Father's will, You, who said, "Behold, I come to do Your will." Grant that I also may do God's will faithfully in all things. O Divine Infant, grant me this grace!


O my Jesus, my soul was yearning for the days of trial, but do not leave me alone in the darkness of my soul. Rather, do You hold me firmly, close to Yourself. Set a guard over my lips, so that the fragrance of my sufferings may be known and pleasing to You alone.


O merciful Jesus, how longingly You hurried to the Upper Room to consecrate the Host that I am to receive in my life. Jesus, You desired to dwell in my heart. Your living Blood unites with mine. Who can understand this close union? My heart encloses within itself the Almighty, the Infinite One. 0 Jesus, continue to grant me Your divine life. Let Your pure and noble Blood throb with all its might in my heart. I give You my whole being. Transform me into Yourself and make me capable of doing Your holy will in all things and of returning Your love. O my sweet Spouse, You know that my heart knows no one but You. You have opened up in my heart an insatiable depth of love for You. From the very first moment it knew You, my heart has loved You and has lost itself in You as its one and only object. May Your pure and omnipotent love be the driving force of all my actions. Who will ever conceive and understand the depth of mercy that has gushed forth from Your Heart?


I have experienced how much envy there is, even in religious life. I see that there are few truly great souls, ready to trample on everything that is not God. O soul, you will find no beauty outside of God. Oh, how fragile is the foundation of those who elevate themselves at the expense of others! What a loss!


December 19,[1936]. This evening, I felt in my soul , that a certain person had need of my prayer. Immediately, I began to pray. Suddenly, I realize interiorly and am aware of who the spirit is who is asking this of me; I pray until I feel at peace. There is great help for the dying in this chaplet. I often pray for an intention that I have learned of interiorly. I always pray until I experience in my soul that the prayer has had its effect.


Especially now, while I am in this hospital, I experience an inner communion with the dying who ask me for prayer when their agony begins. God has given me a wondrous contact with the dying! Since this has been happening more frequently, I have been able to verify it, even to the exact hour.

Today I was awakened suddenly at eleven o'clock at night and clearly felt the presence near me of some spirit who was asking me for prayer. Some force simply compelled me to pray. My vision is purely spiritual, by means of a sudden light that God grants me at that moment. I keep on praying until I feel peace in my soul, and not always for an equally long time; because sometimes it happens that with one "Hail Mary" I am already at peace, and then I say the De Profundis and pray no longer. And sometimes it happens that I pray the entire chaplet and only then feel at peace. I have also discovered that if I feel constrained to pray for a longer time; that is to say, I experience interior unrest, the soul is undergoing a greater struggle and is going through a longer final agony.

This is how I have verified the exact time: I have a watch, and I look to see what time it is. On the following day, when they tell me about that person's death, I ask them about the time, and it exactly corresponds, as does the length of the person's last agony. They say to me, "Such and such a person died today, but she passed away quickly and peacefully." It sometimes happens that the dying person is in the second or third building away, yet for the spirit, space does not exist. It sometimes happens that I know about a death occurring several hundred kilometers away. This has happened several times with regard to my family and relatives and also sisters in religion, and even souls whom I have not known during their lifetime.

O God of fathomless mercy, who allow me to give relief and help to the dying by my unworthy prayer, be blessed as many thousand times as there are stars in the sky and drops of water in all the oceans! Let Your mercy resound throughout the orb of the earth, and let it rise to the foot of Your throne, giving praise to the greatest of Your attributes; that is, Your incomprehensible mercy. O God, this unfathomable mercy enthralls anew all the holy souls and all the spirits of heaven. These pure spirits are immersed in holy amazement as they glorify this inconceivable mercy of God, which in turn arouses even greater admiration in them, and their praise is carried out in a perfect manner. O eternal God, how ardently I desire to glorify this greatest of Your attributes; namely, Your unfathomable mercy. I see all my littleness, and cannot compare myself to the heavenly beings who praise the Lord's mercy with holy admiration. But I, too, have found a way to give perfect glory to the incomprehensible mercy of God.


O most sweet Jesus, who have deigned to allow miserable me to gain a knowledge of Your unfathomable mercy; O most sweet Jesus, who have graciously demanded that I tell the whole world of Your incomprehensible mercy, this day I take into my hands the two rays that spring from Your merciful Heart; that is, the Blood and the Water; and I scatter them all over the globe so that each soul may receive Your mercy and, having received it, may glorify it for endless ages. O most sweet Jesus who, in Your incomprehensible kindness, have deigned to unite my wretched heart to Your most merciful Heart, it is with Your own Heart that I glorify God, our Father, as no soul has ever glorified Him before.


December 21, [1936]. The radio is always playing in the afternoon, so I feel the loss of silence. All morning long, there is ceaseless talk and noise. My God, I was looking forward to being in silence, happy that I should be talking only with the Lord, and here it is just the opposite. Yet, nothing disturbs me now, neither the talking nor the radio. In a word-nothing. By the grace of God, when I am praying I do not even know where I am; I know only that my soul is united with the Lord. And thus I pass my days in this hospital.


+ I marvel at how many humiliations and sufferings that priest accepts in this whole matter. [153] I see this at particular times, and I support him with my unworthy prayers. Only God can give one such courage; otherwise one would give up. But I see with joy that all these adversities contribute to God's greater glory. The Lord has few such souls. O infinite eternity, you will make manifest the efforts of heroic souls, because the earth rewards their efforts with hatred and ingratitude. Such souls do not have friends; they are solitary. And in this solitude, they gain strength; they draw their strength from God alone. With humility, but also with courage, they stand firmly in the face of all the storms that beat upon them. Like high-towering oaks, they are unmoved. And in this there is just this one secret: that it's from God that they draw this strength, and everything whatsoever they have need of, they have for themselves and for others. They not only carry their own burden, but also know how to take on, and are capable of taking on, the burdens of others. They are pillars of light along God's ways; they live in light themselves and shed light upon others. They themselves live on the heights, and know how to show the way to lesser ones and help them attain those heights.


+ My Jesus, You see that I do not know how to write well and, on top of that, I don't even have a good pen. And often it scratches so badly that I must put sentences together, letter by letter. And that is not all. I also have the difficulty of keeping secret from the sisters the things I write down, and so I often have to shut my notebook every few minutes and listen patiently to someone's story, and then the time set aside for writing is gone. And when I shut the notebook suddenly, the ink smears. I write with the permission of my superiors and at the command of my confessor. It is a strange thing: sometimes the writing goes quite well, but at other times, I can hardly read it myself.


December 23, [1936]. I am spending this time with the Mother of God and preparing myself for the solemn moment of the coming of the Lord Jesus. The Mother of God is instructing me in the interior life of the soul with Jesus, especially in Holy Communion. It is only in eternity that we shall know the great mystery effected in us by Holy Communion. O most precious moments of my life!


O my Creator, I long for You! You understand me, O Lord of mine! All that is on earth seems to me like a pale shadow. It is You I long for and desire. Although You do so inconceivably much for me, for You yourself visit me in a special way, yet those visits do not soothe the wound of the heart, but make me long all the more for You, O Lord. Oh, take me to Yourself, Lord, if such is Your will! You know that I am dying, and I am dying of longing for You; and yet, I cannot die. Death, where are you? You draw me into the abyss of Your divinity, and You veil yourself with darkness. My whole being is immersed in You, yet I desire to see You face to face. When will this come about for me?


Sister Chrysostom [154] came to visit me today. She brought some lemons and apples and a tiny Christmas tree. I was delighted with them. Through Sister Chrysostom, Mother Superior asked the doctor [Adam Silberg] to let me come home for Christmas, and he readily agreed. I was very happy and burst into tears like a little child. Sister Chrysostom was surprised that I looked so bad and had changed so much, and she told me, "You know, Little Faustina, probably you will die. You must be suffering a great deal, Sister." I answered that I was suffering more that day than on other days, but that it was nothing and that, for the salvation of souls, it was not too much. O merciful Jesus, give me the souls of sinners!


December 24, [1936]. During Holy Mass today, I was united in a particular way with God and His Immaculate Mother. The humility and love of the Immaculate Virgin penetrated my soul. The more I imitate the Mother of God, the more deeply I get to know God. Oh, what infinite longing envelops my soul! Jesus, how can You still leave me in this exile? I am dying of longing for You. Every touch of my soul by You wounds me immensely. Love and suffering go together; yet I would not exchange this pain caused by You for any treasure, because it is the pain of incomprehensible delights, and these wounds of the soul are inflicted by a loving hand.


Sister C. [155] came in the afternoon and took me home for the holydays. I was happy to be reunited with the community. As we were riding through the city [Cracow], I imagined it was the town of Bethlehem. As I watched all those people hurrying about, I thought: who is meditating today, in recollection and silence, on this inconceivable mystery? O pure Virgin, You are traveling today, and so am I. I feel that today's journey has its symbolism. O radiant Virgin, pure as crystal, all immersed in God, I offer You my spiritual life; arrange everything that it may be pleasing to Your Son. O my Mother, how ardently I desire that You give me the Infant Jesus during the Midnight Mass. And I felt such a living presence of God in the depths of my soul, that it was only by sheer will-power that I restrained my joy in order not to show outwardly what was going on in my soul.


Before the vigil supper, I entered the chapel for a moment to break the wafer spiritually with those dear to my heart. I presented them all, by name, to Jesus and begged for graces on their behalf. But that wasn't all. I commended to the Lord all those who are being persecuted, those who are suffering, those who do not know His Name, and especially poor sinners. O little Jesus, I fervently ask You, enclose them all in the ocean of Your incomprehensible mercy. O sweet little Jesus, here is my heart; let it be a little cozy dwelling place for Yourself. O Infinite Majesty, with what sweetness You drew close to us. Here, there is no dread of the thunderbolts of the great Jehovah; here, there is the sweet little Jesus. Here, no soul is afraid, although Your majesty has not lessened, but only concealed itself. After supper, I felt very tired and was in pain. I had to lie down. But I kept vigil with the Most Holy Mother, awaiting the arrival of the little Child.


December 25, [1936]. Midnight Mass. During Mass, God's presence pierced me through and through. A moment before the Elevation I saw the Mother of God and the Infant Jesus and the good Old Man [St. Joseph]. The Most Holy Mother spoke these words to me: My daughter, Faustina, take this most precious Treasure, and she gave me the Infant Jesus. When I took Jesus in my arms, my soul felt such unspeakable joy that I am unable to describe it. But, strange thing, after a short while Jesus became awful, horrible-looking, grown up and suffering; and then the vision vanished, and soon it was time to go to Holy Communion. When I received the Lord Jesus in Holy Communion, my soul trembled under the influence of God's presence. The next day, I saw the Divine Infant for a brief moment during the Elevation.


On the second day of the Feast, Father Andrasz came to celebrate Mass for us, and during Mass I again saw the little Jesus. In the afternoon, I went to confession. Father did not give an answer to some of my questions that concerned this work. He said, "When you recover, we shall talk about it in concrete terms; and now, try to recover completely. As for the rest, you know what guidance to follow and what direction to take in these matters." As penance, Father told me to say the chaplet that Jesus had taught me.


While I was saying the chaplet, I heard a voice which said, Oh, what great graces I will grant to souls who say this chaplet; the very depths of My tender mercy are stirred for the sake of those who say the chaplet. Write down these words, My daughter. Speak to the world about My mercy; let all mankind recognize My unfathomable mercy. It is a sign for the end times; after it will come the day of justice. While there is still time, let them have recourse to the fount of My mercy; let them profit from the Blood and Water which gushed forth for them.

O human souls, where are you going to hide on the day of God's anger? Take refuge now in the fount of God's mercy. O what a great multitude of souls I see! They worshiped the Divine Mercy and will be singing the hymn of praise for all eternity.


December 27. Today, I returned to my place of solitude [her private room at the sanatorium]. I had a pleasant trip as I travelled with a certain person[156] who was taking her baby to be baptized. We gave her a lift as far as the Church in Podgorze. [157] In order to get out, she put the baby in my arms. When I took it, I offered it, with an ardent prayer, to God so that some day it might give Him special glory. I felt in my soul that the Lord was looking in a special way on that little soul. When we arrived on Pradnik, Sister N. [158] helped me to carry my bundle. When we entered my room, we saw a beautiful paper angel with the inscription, "Gloria in...... I think it is from the sick sister to whom I sent the Christmas tree. [159]


And so, the holydays are over. Nothing can still the yearning of my soul. I long for You, O my Creator and eternal God! Neither celebrations nor beautiful hymns soothe my soul; rather, they make me yearn all the more. At the very mention of Your Name, my spirit springs toward You, O Lord.



Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II:  851 – 900 )

Notebook 2


December 28, [1936]. Today I have started a novena to The Divine Mercy. That is, I place myself in spirit before the image and recite the chaplet which the Lord has taught me. On the second day of the novena, I saw the image, as it were, come alive, adorned with numberless votive lamps, and I saw great crowds of people coming there, and many of them were filled with happiness. O Jesus, with what great joy did my heart beat! I am making the novena for the intention of two people; namely, the Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] and Father Sopocko. I am earnestly asking the Lord to inspire the Archbishop to approve the chaplet, which is so pleasing to God, and also the image, and that he may not put off or delay this work....


Today the Lord's gaze shot through me suddenly, like lightning. At once, I came to know the tiniest specks in my soul, and knowing the depths of my misery, I fell to my knees and begged the Lord's pardon, and with great trust I immersed myself in His infinite mercy. Such knowledge does not depress me nor keep me away from the Lord, but rather it arouses in my soul greater love and boundless trust. The repentance of my heart is linked to love. These extraordinary flashes from the Lord educate my soul. O sweet rays of God, enlighten me to the most secret depth, for I want to arrive at the greatest possible purity of heart and soul.


In the evening, a great longing took possession of my soul. I took the pamphlet with the Image of the Merciful Jesus on it and pressed it to my heart, and the following words burst forth from my soul: "Jesus, Eternal Love, I live for You, I die for You, and I want to become united with You." Suddenly I saw the Lord in His inexpressible beauty. He looked at me graciously and said, My daughter, I too came down from heaven out of love for you; I lived for you, I died for you, and I created the heavens for you. And Jesus pressed me to His Heart and said to me, Very soon now; be at peace, My daughter.When I was alone, my soul was set afire with the desire to suffer until the moment when the Lord would say, "Enough." And even if I were to live for thousands of years, I see in the light of God that that is but one moment. Souls ...[unfinished thought].


December 29, [1936]. Today after Holy Communion, I heard a voice in my soul: My daughter, stand ready, for I will come unexpectedly. Jesus, You do not want to tell me the hour I am looking forward to with such longing? My daughter, it is for your own good. You will learn it, but not now; keep watch. O Jesus, do with me as You please. I know You are the merciful Savior and You will not change towards me at the hour of my death. If at this time you are showing me so much special love, and are condescending to unite Yourself with me is such an intimate way and with such great kindness, I expect even more at the hour of my death. You, my Lord-God, cannot change. You are always the same. Heaven can change, as well as everything that is created; but You, Lord, are ever the same and will endure forever. So come as You like and when You like. Father of infinite mercy, I, Your child, wait longingly for Your coming. O Jesus, You said in the Holy Gospel, "Out of your mouth do I judge you." Well, Jesus, I am always speaking of Your inconceivable mercy, so I trust that You will judge me according to Your unfathomable mercy.


December 30, 1936. The year is coming to an end. I took today as the day of the monthly retreat. My spirit engrossed itself in the benefits that God has lavished on me throughout this whole year. My soul trembled at the sight of this immensity of God's graces. From my soul there burst forth a hymn of thanksgiving to the Lord. For a whole hour, I remained steeped in adoration and thanksgiving, contemplating, one by one, the benefits I had received from God and also my own minor shortcomings. All that this year contained has gone into the abyss of eternity. Nothing is lost. I am glad that nothing gets lost.

December 30, [1936]. One-day retreat.


During the morning meditation, I felt an aversion and a repugnance for all created things. Everything pales before my eyes; my spirit is detached from all things. I desire only God himself, and yet I must live. This is a martyrdom beyond description. God imparts himself to the soul in a loving way and draws it into the infinite depths of His divinity, but at the same time He leaves it here on earth for the sole purpose that it might suffer and die of longing for Him. And this strong love is so pure that God himself finds pleasure in it; and self-love has no access to its deeds, for here everything is totally saturated with bitterness, and thus is totally pure. Life is a continuous dying, painful and terrible, and at the same time it is the depth of true life and of inconceivable happiness and the strength of the soul; and because of this, [the soul] is capable of great deeds for the sake of God.


+ In the evening, I prayed for a few hours, first for my parents and relatives, for Mother General and for the whole Congregation, for our students, and for three priests [probably Archbishop Jalbrzykowski, Father Sopocko, and Father Andrasz] to whom I owe very much. I ran the length and breadth of the whole world and thanked the unfathomable mercy of God for all the graces granted to people, and I begged pardon for everything by which they have offended Him.


During Vespers, I saw the Lord Jesus, who looked sweetly and profoundly into my soul. My daughter, have patience; it won't be long now. That profound look and those words filled my soul with strength and power, courage and extraordinary trust that I would carry out everything He was demanding of me, despite such tremendous difficulties, and [filled me with] a special conviction that the Lord is with me and that with Him I can do all things. All the powers on earth and in hell are as nothing to me. Everything must fall before the power of His Name. I entrust everything into Your hands, O my Lord and God. Sole Commander of my soul, direct me according to Your eternal desires.



J.M.J. Cracow, Pradnik, January 1, 1937.

Jesus, I trust in You.

+ Today, at midnight, I bid good-bye to the old year 1936, and welcomed the year 1937. It was with fear and trembling that, in this first hour of the year, I faced this new period of time. Merciful Jesus, with You I go boldly and courageously into conflicts and battles. In Your Name, I will accomplish everything and overcome everything. My God, Infinite Goodness, I beg of You, let Your infinite mercy accompany me always and in all things.

As I enter this year, fear of life overwhelms me, but Jesus brings me out of this fear and lets me know what great glory this work of mercy will bring Him.


There are times in life when the soul finds comfort only in profound prayer. Would that souls knew how to persevere in prayer at such times. This is very important.

+ J.M.J. Jesus, I trust in You.

+ Resolutions for the year 1937, day 1, month 1.


Particular examen: remains the same; namely, to unite myself with the Merciful Christ (that is; what would Christ do in such and such a case?) and, in spirit, to embrace the whole world, especially Russia and Spain.

General resolutions.


Strict observance of silence - interior silence.


To see the image of God in every sister; all love of neighbor must flow from this motive.


To do the will of God faithfully at every moment of my life and to live by this.


To give a faithful account of everything to the spiritual director and not to undertake anything of importance without a clear understanding with him. I shall try to clearly lay bare to him the most secret depths of my soul, bearing in mind that I am dealing with God himself, and that His representative is just a human being, and so I must pray daily that he be given light.


During the evening examination of conscience, I am to ask myself the question: What if He were to call me today?


Not to look for God far away, but within my own being to abide with Him alone.


In sufferings and torments, to take refuge in the tabernacle and to be silent.


To join all sufferings, prayers, works and mortifications to the merits of Jesus in order to obtain mercy for the world.


To use free moments, however short, for prayers for the dying.


There must not be a day in my life when I do not recommend to the Lord the works of our Congregation. Never have regard for what others think of you [for human respect].


Have no familiar relationships with anyone. Gentle firmness toward the girls, boundless patience; punish them severely but with such punishments as these: prayer and self-sacrifice. The strength that is in the emptying of myself for their sake is for them a [source of] constant remorse and the softening of their obdurate hearts.


The presence of God is the basis of all my thoughts, words and deeds.


To take advantage of all spiritual help. To always put self-love in its proper place; namely, the last. To perform my spiritual exercises as though I were doing them for the last time in my life, and in like manner to carry out all my duties.


January 2, [1937]. The Name of Jesus. Oh, how great is Your Name, O Lord! It is the strength of my soul. When my strength fails, and darkness invades my soul, Your Name is the sun whose rays give light and also warmth, and under their influence the soul becomes more beautiful and radiant, taking its splendor from Your Name. When I hear the sweetest name of Jesus, my heartbeat grows stronger, and there are times when, hearing the Name of Jesus, I fall into a swoon. My spirit eagerly strains toward Him.


This is a particularly important day for me. On this day I made my first visit connected with the painting of the Image. [160] On this day the Divine Mercy received special external honor for the first time, although it has been known for a long time, but here it was in the form that the Lord had requested. This day of the sweet Name of Jesus reminds me of many special graces.


January 3. The Mother Superior of the Congregation that serves this hospital visited me today, together with one of her sisters. [161] For a long while, we talked about spiritual matters. I recognized in her a great ascetic, and so our conversation was pleasing to God.

Today a girl came to see me. I saw that she was suffering, but not so much in body as in soul. I comforted her as much as I could, but my words of consolation were not enough. She was a poor orphan with a soul plunged in bitterness and pain. She opened her soul to me and told me everything. I understood that, in this case, simple words of consolation would not be enough. I fervently interceded with the Lord for that soul and offered Him my joy so that He would give it to her and take all feeling of joy away from me. And the Lord heard my prayer: I was left only with the consolation that she had been consoled.


Adoration. First Sunday of the month. During adoration, I felt so strongly urged to act that I burst into tears and said to the Lord, "Jesus, do not urge me, but give this inspiration to those who You know are delaying the work." And I heard these words: My daughter, be at peace; it will not be long now.


During Vespers, I heard these words: My daughter, I want to repose in your heart, because many souls have thrown Me out of their hearts today. I have experienced sorrow unto death. I tried to comfort the Lord, by offering Him my love a thousand times over. I felt, within my soul, a great disgust for sin.


+ My heart is steeped in continual bitterness, because I want to go to You, Lord, into the fullness of life. O Jesus, what a dreadful wilderness this life seems to me! There is on this earth no nourishment for either my heart or my soul. I suffer because of my longing for You, O Lord. You have left me the Sacred Host, O Lord, but it enkindles in my soul an even greater longing for You, O my Creator and Eternal God! Jesus, I yearn to become united with You. Deign to hear the sighs of Your dearly beloved. Oh, how I suffer because I am still unable to be united with You. But let it be done according to Your wishes.


January 5, 1937. This evening, I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko] who was in need of prayer for a certain matter. I prayed fervently because the matter is very close to my heart as well. Thank You, Jesus, for this kindness.


O Jesus, have mercy! Embrace the whole world and press me to Your Heart.... O Lord, let my soul repose in the sea of Your unfathomable mercy.


January 6, 1937. Today during Holy Mass, I was unwittingly absorbed in the infinite majesty of God. The whole immensity of God's love flooded my soul. At that particular moment, I became aware of how much God abases himself for my sake. He, the Lord of Lords-and what am I, miserable being that I am, that You would commune thus with me? The wonder that took hold of me after this special grace continued very vividly throughout the entire day. Taking advantage of the intimacy to which the Lord was admitting me, I interceded before Him for the whole world. At such moments I have the feeling that the whole world is depending on me.


+ My Master, cause my heart never to expect help from anyone, but I will always strive to bring assistance, consolation and all manner of relief to others. My heart is always open to the sufferings of others; and I will not close my heart to the sufferings of others, even though because of this I have been scornfully nicknamed "dump"; that is, [because] everyone dumps his pain into my heart. [To this] I answered that everyone has a place in my heart and I, in return, have a place in the Heart of Jesus. Taunts regarding the law of love will not narrow my heart. My soul is always sensitive on this point, and Jesus alone is the motive for my love of neighbor.


January 7. During the Holy Hour, the Lord allowed me to taste His Passion. I shared in the bitterness of the suffering that filled His soul to overflowing. Jesus gave me to understand how a soul should be faithful to prayer despite torments, dryness and temptations; because oftentimes the realization of God's great plans depends mainly on such prayer. If we do not persevere in such prayer, we frustrate what the Lord wanted to do through us or within us. Let every soul remember these words: "And being in anguish, He prayed longer." I always prolong such prayer as much as is in my power and in conformity with my duty.


January 8. On Friday morning, as I was going to the chapel to attend Holy Mass, I suddenly saw a huge juniper tree on the pavement and in it a horrible cat who, looking angrily at me, blocked my way to the chapel. One whisper of the name of Jesus dissipated all that. I offered the whole day for dying sinners. During Holy Mass, I felt the closeness of the Lord in a special way. After Holy Communion, I turned my gaze with trust toward the Lord and told him, "Jesus, I so much desire to tell You something." And the Lord looked at me with love and said, And what is it that you desire to tell Me?

"Jesus, I beg You, by the inconceivable power of Your mercy, that all the souls who will die today escape the fire of hell, even if they have been the greatest sinners. Today is Friday, the memorial of Your bitter agony on the Cross; because Your mercy is inconceivable, the Angels will not be surprised at this." Jesus pressed me to His Heart and said,
My beloved daughter, you have come to know well the depths of My mercy. I will do what you ask, but unite yourself continually with My agonizing Heart and make reparation to My justice. Know that you have asked Me for a great thing, but I see that this was dictated by your pure love for Me; that is why I am complying with your requests.


Mary, Immaculate Virgin, take me under Your special protection and guard the purity of my soul, heart and body. You are the model and star of my life.


Today, I experienced a great suffering during the visit of our sisters. I learned of something that hurt me terribly, but I controlled myself so that the sisters didn't notice anything. For some time, the pain was tearing my heart apart, but all that is for the sake of poor sinners.... O Jesus, for poor sinners.... Jesus, my strength, stay close to me, help me....


January 10, 1937. I asked the Lord today to give me strength in the morning so that I could go to receive Holy Communion. My Master, I ask You with all my thirsting heart to give me, if this is according to Your holy will, any suffering and weakness that You like-I want to suffer all day and all night-but please, I fervently beg You, strengthen me for the one moment when I am to receive Holy Communion. You see very well, Jesus, that here they do not bring Holy Communion to the sick; so, if You do not strengthen me for that moment so that I can go down to the chapel, how can I receive You in the Mystery of Love? And You know how much my heart longs for You. O my sweet Spouse, what's the good of all these reasonings? You know how ardently I desire You, and if You so choose You can do this for me.

On the following morning, I felt as if I were perfectly well; the faintings and the weaknesses ceased. But as soon as I returned from the chapel, all the sufferings and weaknesses immediately returned, as if they had been waiting for me. But I had no fear of them at all, because I had been nourished by the Bread of the Strong. I boldly look at everything; even death itself I look straight in the eye.


+ O Jesus concealed in the Host, my sweet Master and faithful Friend, how happy my soul is to have such a Friend who always keeps me company. I do not feel lonely even though I am in isolation. Jesus-Host, we know each other-that is enough for me.


January 12, 1937. Today, when the doctor [Adam Silberg] making his rounds came to see me, he somehow didn't like the way I looked. Naturally, I was suffering more, and so my temperature had gone up considerably. Consequently, he decided I must not go down for Holy Communion until my temperature dropped to normal. I said, "All right," although pain seized my heart; but I said I would go only if I had no fever. So he agreed to that. When the doctor left, I said to the Lord, "Jesus, now it is up to You whether I shall go or not," and I didn't think about it anymore, although the thought kept coming to my mind: I am not to have Jesusno, that's impossible-and not just once but for several days, until my temperature drops. But in the evening, I said to the Lord, "Jesus, if my Communions are pleasing to You, I beg You humbly, grant that I have not one degree of fever tomorrow morning."

In the morning, as I was taking my temperature, I thought to myself, "If there is even one degree, I will not get up because that would be contrary to obedience." But when I looked at the thermometer, there wasn't even one degree of fever. I jumped to my feet at once and went to Holy Communion. When the doctor came and I told him that I had had not even one degree of fever, and so had gone to Holy Communion, he was surprised. I begged him not to make it difficult for me to go to Holy Communion, for it would have an adverse effect on the treatment. The doctor answered, "For peace of conscience and at the same time to avoid difficulties for yourself, Sister, let us make the following agreement: when the weather is fine, and it isn't raining, and you feel all right, then, Sister, please go; but you must weigh these matters in your conscience." It made me very happy that the doctor was being so considerate for my sake. You see, Jesus, that I have already done whatever was up to me; now I am counting on You and am quite at peace.


I saw Father Andrasz as he was saying Holy Mass today. Before the Elevation, I saw the Infant Jesus with His hands spread out, and He was very joyous; then, after a moment, I saw nothing more. I was in my room and I continued making my thanksgiving. But later on, I thought to myself, "Why was the Infant Jesus so merry? After all, He is not always so merry when I see Him." Then I heard these words interiorly: Because I am very much at home in his heart. And I was not at all surprised at this, because I know he loves Jesus very much.


My union with the dying is still as close as ever. Oh, how incomprehensible is God's mercy that the Lord allows me, by my unworthy prayer, to come to the aid of the dying. I try to be at the side of every dying person whenever I can. Have confidence in God, for He is good and inconceivable. His mercy surpasses our understanding.


January 14, 1937. Today, Jesus entered my room wearing a bright robe and girded with a golden belt, His whole figure resplendent with great majesty. He said, My daughter, why are you giving in to thoughts of fear? I answered, "O Lord, You know why." And He said, Why? "This work frightens me. You know that I am incapable of carrying it out." And He said, Why? "You see very well that I am not in good health, that I have no education, that I have no money, that I am an abyss of misery, that I fear contacts with people. Jesus, I desire only You. You can release me from this." And the Lord said to me, My daughter, what you have said is true. You are very miserable, and it pleased Me to carry out this work of mercy precisely through you who are nothing but misery itself. Do not fear; I will not leave you alone. Do whatever you can in this matter; I will accomplish everything that is lacking in you. You know what is within your power to do; do that. The Lord looked into the depth of my being with great kindness; I thought I would die for joy under that gaze. The Lord disappeared, and joy, strength and power to act remained in my soul. But I was surprised that the Lord did not want to release me and that He is not changing anything He has once said. And despite all these joys, there is always a shadow of sorrow. I see that love and sorrow go hand in hand.


I rarely have such visions. But I more often commune with the Lord in a more profound manner. My senses sleep and, although not in a visible way, all things become more real and clearer to me than if I saw them with my eyes. My intellect learns more in one moment than during long years of thinking and meditation, both as regards the essence of God and as regards revealed truths, and also as regards the knowledge of my own misery.


Nothing disturbs my union with the Lord, neither conversation with others nor any duties; even if I am to go about settling very important matters, this does not disturb me. My spirit is with God, and my interior being is filled with God, so I do not look for Him outside myself. He, the Lord, penetrates my soul just as a ray from the sun penetrates clear glass. When I was enclosed in my mother's womb, I was not so closely united with her as I am with my God. There, it was an unawareness; but here, it is the fullness of reality and the consciousness of union. My visions are purely interior, but the more I understand them, the less I am able to express them in words.


Oh, how beautiful is the world of the spirit! And so real that, by comparison, the exterior life is just a vain illusion and powerlessness.


Jesus, give me the strength and wisdom to get through this terrible wilderness, that my heart may bear patiently this longing for You, O my Lord! I always remain in holy amazement when I sense that You are approaching me, You, the Lord of the awesome throne; that You descend to this miserable exile and visit this poor beggar who has nothing but misery! I do not know how to entertain You, my Royal Prince, but You know that I love You with every beat of my heart. I see how You lower yourself, but nevertheless Your majesty does not diminish in my eyes. I know that You love me with the love of a bridegroom, and that is enough for me. Although we are separated by a great chasm, for You are the Creator and I am Your creature, nevertheless, love alone explains our union. Without it, all is incomprehensible. Only love makes it possible to understand these incomprehensible intimacies with which You visit me. O Jesus, Your greatness terrifies me, and I would be in constant astonishment and fear, if You yourself did not set me at peace. You make me capable of communing with You before each approach.


January 15, 1937. Sorrow will not establish itself in a heart which loves the will of God. My heart, longing for God, feels the whole misery of exile. I keep going forward bravely-though my feet become wounded-to my homeland and, on the way, I nourish myself on the will of God. It is my food. Help me, happy inhabitants of the heavenly homeland, so that your sister may not falter on the way. Although the desert is fearful, I walk with lifted head and eyes fixed on the sun; that is to say, on the merciful Heart of Jesus.


January 19, 1937. My life at present flows on in peaceful awareness of God. My silent soul lives on Him, and this conscious life of God in my soul is for me a source of happiness and strength. I do not look for happiness outside the depths of my soul in which God dwells; of this I am aware. I feel a certain need to share myself with others. I have discovered a fountain of happiness in my soul, and it is God. O my God, I see that everything that surrounds me is filled with God, and most of all my own soul, which is adorned with the grace of God. Already now, I will begin to live on that on which I shall live for all eternity.


Silence is so powerful a language that it reaches the throne of the living God. Silence is His language, though secret, yet living and powerful.


Jesus, You have given me to know and understand in what a soul's greatness consists: not in great deeds but in great love. Love has its worth, and it confers greatness on all our deeds. Although our actions are small and ordinary in themselves, because of love they become great and powerful before God.


Love is a mystery that transforms everything it touches into things beautiful and pleasing to God. The love of God makes a soul free. She is like a queen; she knows no slavish compulsion; she sets about everything with great freedom of soul, because the love which dwells in her incites her to action. Everything that surrounds her makes her know that only God himself is worthy of her love. A soul in love with God and immersed in Him approaches her duties with the same dispositions as she does Holy Communion and carries out the simplest tasks with great care, under the loving gaze of God. She is not troubled if, after some time, something turns out to be less successful. She remains calm, because at the time of the action she had done what was in her power. When it happens that the living presence of God, which she enjoys almost constantly, leaves her, she then tries to continue living in lively faith. Her soul understands that there are periods of rest and periods of battle. Through her will, she is always with God. Her soul, like a knight, is well trained in battle; from afar it sees where the foe is hiding and is ready for battle. She knows she is not alone-God is her strength.


January 21, [1937]. Since early morning today, I have been wondrously united with the Lord. In the evening, the hospital chaplain visited me. After we had talked for a while, I felt my spirit beginning to immerse itself in God, and I began to lose all sense of what was happening around me. I ardently implored Jesus, "Give me the ability to talk." And the Lord granted that I could talk freely with him. But there was a moment when I could not understand what the priest was saying. I heard his voice, but it was impossible for me to understand him, and I apologized for not understanding him although I could hear his voice. This is a moment of the grace of union with God, but imperfect, because exteriorly the senses are acting imperfectly too. There is no total immersion in God; that is, suspension of the senses, as often happens when one neither sees nor hears anything exteriorly, the whole soul being freely absorbed in God. When such a grace visits me, I want to be alone, and I ask Jesus to protect me from the eyes of creatures. I was really very embarrassed before the priest, but I was reassured, because he got to know a little of my soul in confession.


Today the Lord gave me to know, in spirit, about the Convent of Divine Mercy. I saw a great spirit in this convent, but everything was poor and very scanty. O my Jesus, you are allowing me to live in spirit with these souls, but perhaps I shall never set foot there; but may Your Name be blessed, and whatever You have intended, may it be done.


January 22, [1937]. Today is Friday. My soul is in a sea of suffering. Sinners have taken everything away from me. But that is all right; I have given everything away for their sake that they might know that You are good and infinitely merciful. I shall be faithful to You, come rain or shine.


Today the doctor decided that I am not to go to Mass, but only to Holy Communion. I wanted very much to assist at Mass, but my confessor, [162] in agreement with the doctor, told me to obey. "It is God's will, Sister, that you should get well, and you must not undertake mortifications of any kind. Be obedient, Sister, and God will reward you for it." I felt that the confessor's words were Jesus' words, and although it made me sad to miss Holy Mass, during which God had been granting me the grace of seeing the Infant Jesus; nevertheless, I placed obedience above everything else.

I became absorbed in prayer and said my penance. Then I suddenly saw the Lord, who said to me,
My daughter, know that you give Me greater glory by a single act of obedience than by long prayers and mortifications. Oh, how good it is to live under obedience, to live conscious of the fact that everything I do is pleasing to God!


January 23, [1937]. I did not feel like writing today. Then I heard a voice in my soul:My daughter, you do not live for yourself but for souls; write for their benefit. You know that My will as to your writing has been confirmed many times by your confessors. You know what is pleasing to Me, and if you have any doubts about what I am saying, you also know whom you are to ask. I grant him light to pronounce judgment on my case. My eye watches over him. My daughter, you are to be like a child towards him, full of simplicity and candor. Put his judgment above all My demands. He will guide you according to My will. If he doesn't allow you to carry out My demands, be at peace; I will not judge you, but the matter will remain between Me and him. You are to be obedient.


January 25, 1937. Today my soul is steeped in bitterness. O Jesus, O my Jesus, today everyone can add to my cup of bitterness. It makes no difference whether they be friend or foe, they can all inflict suffering on me. And You, O Jesus, are bound to give me strength and power in these difficult moments. O Blessed Host, support me and seal my lips against all murmuring and complaint. When I am silent, I know I shall be victorious.


January 27, 1937. I feel considerable improvement in my health. Jesus is bringing me from the gates of death to life, because there was so little left but for me to die, and lo, the Lord grants me the fullness of life. Although I am still to remain in the sanatorium, I am almost completely well. I see that the will of God has not yet been fulfilled in me, and that is why I must live, for I know that if I fulfill everything the Lord has planned for me in this world, He will not leave me in exile any longer, for heaven is my home. But before we go to our Homeland, we must fulfill the will of God on earth; that is, trials and struggles must run their full course in us.


O my Jesus, You are giving me back my health and life; give me also strength for battle, because I am unable to do anything without You. Give me strength, for You can do all things. You see that I am a frail child, and what can I do? I know the full power of Your mercy, and I trust that You will give me everything Your feeble child needs.


I have desired death so much! I do not know whether I shall ever again in my life experience such great longing for God. There have been times when I fell into a swoon for Him. Oh, how ugly the earth when one knows heaven! I must do violence to myself in order to live. O will of God, you are my nourishment.


Oh, how drab and full of misunderstandings is this life! My patience is exercised, and after it comes experience. I understand and learn many things each day and see that I know very little, and I am constantly discovering faults in my conduct. Still, I am not discouraged by this, but thank God that He deigns to grant me His light that I may know myself.


Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II:  901 – 950 )

Notebook 2


+ There is a certain person [Stanislava Kwietniewska [163]] who tests my patience. I must devote much time to her. When I talk with her, I feel that she is lying, and this, continually. And because she tells me about things far away which I cannot verify, she is able to get away with the lie. But I am inwardly convinced that there is no truth in what she says. When it occurred to me once that I might be mistaken and that she might be telling the truth, I asked the Lord Jesus to give me the following sign: if she is really lying, let her admit to me herself that she has lied about any one of the things ; concerning which I am inwardly convinced that she is lying. And if she is telling the truth, let the Lord Jesus take this conviction away from me. A little later, she came to me again and said, "Sister, I beg your forgiveness, but I have lied about such and such a thing," and I understood that the inner light concerning that person had not misled me.


January 29, 1937. I overslept today. A little longer, and I would have been too late for Holy Communion because the chapel is a good distance from our section. [164] When I went outdoors, the snow was knee-deep. But before it occurred to me that the doctor would not have allowed ! me to go out in such snow, I had already come to the Lord in the chapel. I received Holy Communion and was back in no time. I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, rest close to My Heart. Known to Me are your efforts. My soul is more joyful when I am close to the Heart of my God.

January 30, 1937. One-day retreat.


I am coming to know God's greatness more and more and to rejoice in Him. I remain unceasingly with Him in the depths of my heart. It is in my own soul that I most easily find God.


During my meditation, I heard these words: My daughter, you give Me most glory by patiently submitting to My will, and you win for yourself greater merit than that which any fast or mortification could ever gain for you. Know, My daughter, that if you submit your will to Mine, you draw upon yourself My special delight. This sacrifice is pleasing to Me and full of sweetness. I take great pleasure in it; there is power in it.


+ Examination of conscience: continuation of the same, to unite myself to the Merciful Christ. Practice: interior silence; that is, strict observance of silence.


+ In difficult moments, I will fix my gaze upon the silent Heart of Jesus, stretched upon the Cross, and from the exploding flames of His merciful Heart, will flow down upon me power and strength to keep fighting.


An extraordinary thing, [that] in winter a canary comes to my window and sings beautifully for a while. I have tried to check whether there is a canary in a cage somewhere around, but there is none anywhere, not even in the neighboring ward. One of the other patients also heard it, but only once, and wondered how a canary could be singing in this freezing season of the year.


+ O Jesus, how sorry I feel for poor sinners. Jesus, grant them contrition and repentance. Remember Your own sorrowful Passion. I know Your infinite mercy and cannot bear it that a soul that has cost You so much should perish. Jesus, give me the souls of sinners; let Your mercy rest upon them. Take everything away from me, but give me souls. I want to become a sacrificial host for sinners. Let the shell of my body conceal my offering, for Your Most Sacred Heart is also hidden in a Host, and certainly You are a living sacrifice.

Transform me into Yourself, O Jesus, that I may be a living sacrifice and pleasing to You. I desire to atone at each moment for poor sinners. The sacrifice of my spirit is hidden under the veil of the body; the human eye does not perceive it, and for that reason it is pure and pleasing to You. O my Creator and Father of great mercy, I trust in You, for You are Goodness Itself. Souls, do not be afraid of God, but trust in Him, for He is good, and His mercy is everlasting.


+ We know each other mutually, O Lord, in the dwelling of my heart. Yes, now it is I who am receiving You as a Guest in the little home of my heart, but the time is coming when You will call me to Your dwelling place, which You have prepared for me from the beginning of the world. Oh, what am I compared to You, O Lord?


The Lord is leading me into a world unknown to me. He makes known to me His great grace, but I am afraid of it and will not submit to its influence in so far as it may be in my power, until I am assured by my spiritual director as to what this grace is.


On one occasion, God's presence pervaded my whole being, and my mind was mysteriously enlightened in respect to His Essence. He allowed me to understand His interior life. In spirit, I saw the Three Divine Persons, but Their Essence was One. He is One, and One only, but in Three Persons; none of Them is either greater or smaller; there is no difference in either beauty or sanctity, for They are One. They are absolutely One. His Love transported me into this knowledge and united me with Himself. When I was united to One, I was equally united to the Second and to the Third in such a way that when we are united with One, by that very fact, we are equally united to the two Persons in the same way as with the One. Their will is One, one God, though in Three Persons. When One of the Three Persons communicates with a soul, by the power of that one will, it finds itself united with the Three Persons and is inundated in the happiness flowing from the Most Holy Trinity, the same happiness that nourishes the saints. This same happiness that streams from the Most Holy Trinity makes all creation happy; from it springs that life which vivifies and bestows all life which takes its beginning from Him. In these moments, my soul experienced such great divine delights that I find this difficult to express.


Then I heard the following words spoken thus: I want you to be My spouse. Fear pierced my soul, but I calmly continued to reflect on what sort of an espousal this could be. However, each time fear would invade my soul, a power from on high would give it peace. After all, I have taken perpetual vows, and I have taken them of my own completely free will. And so I continued to reflect on what this could mean. I sensed, and came to realize, that this was some special kind of grace. Whenever I think about it, I feel faint for God, but in this swooning, my mind is clear and penetrated with light. When I am united to Him, I faint from an abundance of happiness, but my mind is bright and clear and free from all shadows. You abase Your majesty to dwell with a poor creature. Thank you, O Lord, for this great grace that makes it possible for me to commune with You. Jesus, Your Name is my delight, I have a presentiment of my Beloved from afar, and my languishing soul rests in His embrace; I don't know how to live without Him. I would rather be with Him in afflictions and suffering than without Him in the greatest heavenly delights.


February 2, 1937. Today, from early morning, Divine absorption penetrates my soul. During Mass, I thought I would see the little Jesus, as I often do; however, today during Holy Mass I saw the Crucified Jesus. Jesus was nailed to the cross and was in great agony. His suffering pierced me, soul and body, in a manner which was invisible, but nevertheless most painful.


Oh, what awesome mysteries take place during Mass! A great mystery is accomplished in the Holy Mass. With what great devotion should we listen to and take part in this death of Jesus. One day we will know what God is doing for us in each Mass, and what sort of gift He is preparing in it for us. Only His divine love could permit that such a gift be provided for us. O Jesus, my Jesus, with what great pain is my soul pierced when I see this fountain of life gushing forth with such sweetness and power for each soul, while at the same time I see souls withering away and drying up through their own fault. O Jesus, grant that the power of mercy embrace these souls.


+ O Mary, today a terrible sword has pierced Your holy soul. Except for God, no one knows of Your suffering. Your soul does not break; it is brave, because it is with Jesus. Sweet Mother, unite my soul to Jesus, because it is only then that I will be able to endure all trials and tribulations, and only in union with Jesus will my little sacrifices be pleasing to God. Sweetest Mother, continue to teach me about the interior life. May the sword of suffering never break me. O pure Virgin, pour courage into my heart and guard it.


This day is so special for me; even though I encountered so many sufferings, my soul is overflowing with great joy. In a private room next to mine, there was a Jewish woman who was seriously ill. I went to see her three days ago and was deeply pained at the thought that she would soon die without having her soul cleansed by the grace of Baptism. I had an understanding with her nurse, a [religious] Sister, that when her last moment would be approaching, she would baptize her. There was this difficulty however, that there were always some Jewish people with her. However, I felt inspired to pray before the image which Jesus had instructed me to have painted. I have a leaflet with the Image of the Divine Mercy on the cover. And I said to the Lord, "Jesus, You yourself told me that You would grant many graces through this image. I ask You, then, for the grace of Holy Baptism for this Jewish lady. It makes no difference who will baptize her, as long as she is baptized.

After these words, I felt strangely at peace, and I was quite sure that, despite the difficulties, the waters of Holy Baptism would be poured upon her soul. That night, when she was very low, I got out of bed three times to see her, watching for the right moment to give her this grace. The next morning, she seemed to feel a little better. In the afternoon her last moment began to approach. The Sister who was her nurse said that Baptism would be difficult because they were with her. The moment came when the sick woman began to lose consciousness, and as a result, in order to save her, they began to run about; some [went] to fetch the doctor, while others went off in other directions to find help.

And so the patient was left alone, and Sister baptized her, and before they had all rushed back, her soul was beautiful, adorned with God's grace. Her final agony began immediately, but it did not last long. It was as if she fell asleep. All of a sudden, I saw her soul ascending to heaven in wondrous beauty. Oh, how beautiful is a soul with sanctifying grace! Joy flooded my heart that before this image I had received so great a grace for this soul.


Oh, how great is God's mercy; let every soul praise it. O my Jesus, that soul for all eternity will be singing You a hymn of mercy. I shall not forget the impression this day has made on my soul. This is the second great grace which I have received here for souls before this image.

Oh, how good the Lord is, and how full of compassion; Jesus, how heartily I thank You for these graces.


February 5, 1937. My Jesus, in spite of everything, I desire very much to unite myself to You. Jesus, if this be possible, take me to Yourself, for it seems to me that my heart will burst of longing for You!

Oh, how very much I feel that I am in exile! When will I find myself in the house of our Father, delighting in the happiness that streams from the Most Holy Trinity? But, if it is Your will that I still go on living and suffering, then I desire what You have destined for me. Keep me here on earth for as long as You wish, even though this be until the end of the world. O will of my Lord, be my delight and the rapture of my soul. Although the earth is so filled with people, I feel all alone, and the earth is a terrible desert to me. 0 Jesus, Jesus, You know and understand the fervors of my heart; You, O Lord, alone can fill me.


+ Today, when I warned a certain young lady that she should not be standing for hours in the corridor with the men, because it was unbecoming for a well-bred young lady to do so, she apologized and promised to correct herself. She began to cry when she became aware of her thoughtlessness. As I was saying these few things to her concerning moral behavior, all the men from the ward came over and listened to my words of advice. The Jewish people even heard a few things about themselves. A certain person told me afterwards that they put their ears against the wall and listened attentively. I somehow felt they were listening, but I said what I had to say. The walls are so thin here that one can be heard, even when speaking in a low voice.


+There is a woman here [165] who was once one of our students. Naturally, she puts my patience to the test. She comes to see me several times a day. After each of these visits I am tired out, but I see that the Lord Jesus has sent that soul to me. Let everything glorify You, O Lord. Patience gives glory to God. O how poor the souls are!


February 6, [1937]. Today, the Lord said to me, My daughter, I am told that there is much simplicity in you, so why do you not tell Me about everything that concerns you, even the smallest details? Tell Me about everything, and know that this will give Me great joy. I answered, "But You know about everything, Lord." And Jesus replied to me, Yes, I do know; but you should not excuse yourself with the fact that I know, but with childlike simplicity talk to Me about everything, for My ears and heart are inclined towards you, and your words are dear to Me.


+ When I began this big novena for three intentions, I saw a tiny insect on the ground and thought: how did it get here in the middle of winter? Then I heard the following words in my soul: You see, I am thinking of it and sustaining it, and what is it compared to you? Why was your soul fearful for a moment? I apologized to the Lord for that moment. Jesus wants me to always be a child and to leave all care to Him, and to submit blindly to His holy will. He took everything upon Himself.


February 7, [1937]. Today, the Lord said to me, I demand of you a perfect and whole-burnt offering; an offering of the will. No other sacrifice can compare with this one. I myself am directing your life and arranging things in such a way that you will be for Me a continual sacrifice and will always do My will. And for the accomplishment of this offering, you will unite yourself with Me on the Cross. I know what you can do. I myself will give you many orders directly, but I will delay the possibility of their being carried out and make it depend on others. But what the superiors will not manage to do, I myself will accomplish directly in your soul. And in the most hidden depths of your soul, a perfect holocaust will be carried out, not just for a while, but know, My daughter, that this offering will last until your death. But there is time, so that I the Lord will fulfill all your wishes. I delight in you as in a living host; let nothing terrify you; I am with you.


Today, I received a note from Mother Superior forbidding me to go to the bedside of the dying. And so, I will send to the dying obedience in place of self, and it will support the souls who are dying. Such is God's will, and that is enough for me. That which I cannot understand now I will learn later.


February 7, 1937. Today, I prayed more fervently than ever for the Holy Father [Pius XI] and three priests [166] that God would inspire them as to what He is asking of me, for the realization of this depends on them. Oh, how happy I am that the Holy Father's health is improving. Today I heard him addressing the Eucharistic Congress, [167] and I went there in spirit to receive the Apostolic Blessing.


February 9,[1937]. Shrove Tuesday. During the last two days of the carnival, I experienced the overwhelming flood of chastisements and sins. In one instant the Lord gave me a knowledge of the sins committed throughout the whole world during these days. I fainted from fright, and even though I know the depth of God's mercy, I was surprised that God allows humanity to exist. And the Lord gave me to know who it is that upholds the existence of mankind: it is the chosen souls. When the number of the chosen ones is complete, the world will cease to exist.


On these two days, I received Holy Communion as an act of reparation, and I said to the Lord, "Jesus, I offer everything today for sinners. Let the blows of Your justice fall on me, and the sea of Your mercy engulf the poor sinners." And the Lord heard my prayer: many souls returned to the Lord, but I was in agony under the yoke of God's justice. I felt I was the object of the anger of the Most High God. By evening my sufferings had reached such a stage of interior desolation that moans welled up involuntarily from my breast. I locked the door of my room and began an adoration; that is to say, a Holy Hour. Interior desolation and an experience of God's justice-that was my prayer; and the moans and pain that welled up from my soul took the place of a sweet conversation with the Lord.


Then suddenly I saw the Lord, who clasped me to His Heart and said to me, My daughter, do not weep, for I cannot bear your tears. I will grant you everything you ask for, but stop crying. And I was filled with great joy, and my spirit, as usual, was drowned in Him as in its only treasure. Today, encouraged by His kindness, I conversed with Jesus at greater length.


When I had rested near His sweetest Heart, I told Him, "Jesus, I have so much to tell You." And the Lord said to me with great love, Speak, My daughter. And I started to enumerate the pains of my heart; that is, how greatly concerned I am for all mankind, that "they all do not know You, and those who do know You do not love You as You deserve to be loved. I also see how terribly sinners offend You; and then again, I see how severely the faithful, especially Your servants, are oppressed and persecuted. And then, too, I see many souls rushing headlong into the terrible abyss of hell. You see, Jesus, this is the pain that gnaws at my heart and bones. And, although You show me special love and inundate my heart with streams of Your joys, nevertheless, this does not appease the sufferings I have just mentioned, but rather they penetrate my poor heart all the more acutely. Oh, how ardently I desire that all mankind turn with trust to Your mercy. Then, seeing the glory of Your name, my heart will be comforted."

Jesus listened to these outpourings of my heart with gravity and interest, as if He had known nothing about them, and this seemed to make it easier for me to talk. And the Lord said to me,
My daughter, those words of your heart are pleasing to Me, and by saying the chaplet you are bringing humankind closer to Me. After these words, I found myself alone, but the presence of God is always in my soul.


+ O my Jesus, although I will go to You, and You will fill me with Yourself, and that will make my happiness complete, I will nevertheless not forget about humanity. I desire to draw aside the veils of heaven, so that the earth would have no doubts about The Divine Mercy. My repose is in proclaiming Your mercy. The soul gives the greatest glory to its Creator when it turns with trust to The Divine Mercy.


February 10, [1937]. Today is Ash Wednesday.

During Holy Mass, I felt for a short time the Passion of Jesus in my members. Lent is a very special time for the work of priests. We should assist them in rescuing souls.


A few days ago, I wrote to my director [probably Father Andrasz [168]], asking permission for some little mortifications during Lent. As I did not have the doctor's permission to go to town, I had to do this by letter. But Ash Wednesday is already here, and I still have no answer. This morning after Holy Communion, I asked Jesus to inspire my director with His light so that he would answer me, and I knew in my soul that Father was not against my practicing these mortifications for which I had asked permission, and that he would give his permission. So, in peace, I began to undertake these practices. That same afternoon I received a letter from Father, saying that he readily gives me permission to undertake those practices for which I had asked permission. I was very pleased that my interior knowledge was in agreement with my spiritual Father's opinion.


Then I heard the following words in my soul: You will receive a greater reward for your obedience and subjection to your confessor than you will for the practices which you will be carrying out. Know this, My daughter, and act accordingly: anything, no matter how small it be, that has the seal of obedience to My representative is pleasing to Me and great in My eyes.


Small practices for Lent. Although I wish and desire to do so, I cannot practice big mortifications as before, because I am under the strict surveillance of the doctor. But I can practice little things: first-sleep without a pillow; keep myself a little hungry; every day, with my arms outstretched, say the chaplet which the Lord taught me; occasionally, with arms outstretched, for an indefinite period of time pray informally. Intention: to beg divine mercy for poor sinners, and for priests, the power to bring sinful hearts to repentance.


My contact with the dying is, just as it has been in the past, very close. I often accompany a person who is dying far away, but my greatest joy is when I see the promise of mercy fulfilled in these souls. The Lord is faithful; what He once ordains-He fulfills.


+ A certain person in our ward was beginning to die. Amidst terrible tortures, she was dying for three days, sometimes regaining consciousness. Everyone in the ward was praying for her. I longed to go to her, but Mother Superior had forbidden me to go to visit the dying, so I prayed for that poor soul in my room. But when I heard that she was still in agony, and there was no saying how long it was going to take, I suddenly felt inspired in my soul and said to the Lord, "Jesus, if all I do is pleasing to You, I ask You, as evidence, to let that soul stop suffering and pass on immediately to her happy eternity." A few minutes later I learned that the person had passed away so peacefully and quickly that they did not even have time to light the candle.


+ I will say a word more about my spiritual director [Father Andrasz or Father Sopocko [169]]. It is strange that there are so few priests who know how to pour power, strength and courage into a soul so that it can make constant progress without getting tired. Under such direction a soul, even of lesser strength, can do much for the glory of God. And here I discovered a secret; namely, that the confessor, or rather the spiritual director, does not make light of the trifles that the soul brings to him. And when the soul notices that it is being controlled in this, it begins to exert itself and does not omit the slightest opportunity to practice virtue and also avoids the smallest faults. And from these efforts, as with little stones, there rises within the soul a most beautiful temple. On the contrary, if the soul notices that the confessor neglects these little things, it likewise neglects them and ceases to give an account of them to the confessor and, worse still, will begin to grow negligent in little things. Thus, instead of going forward, it gradually retreats backward and becomes aware of the situation only when it has already fallen into some serious trouble. Here, a serious question poses itself: who is at fault, the soul in question or the confessor; that is to say, the director? It seems to me that all the blame should be put on the imprudent director; the soul's only fault is to have taken upon itself the choice of a director. ! The director could well have led the soul along the road of God's will to sanctity.


The soul should have prayed ardently and at greater length for a director and should have asked the Lord himself to choose a spiritual director for it. What begins in God will be godly, and what begins in a purely human manner will remain human. God is so merciful that, in order to help a soul He himself chooses the spiritual guide and will enlighten the soul concerning the one before whom it should uncover the most hidden depths of its soul just as it sees itself before the Lord Jesus himself. And when the soul considers and recognizes that God has been arranging all this, it should pray fervently for the confessor that he might have the divine light to know it well. And let it not change such a director except for a serious reason. Just as it had prayed fervently and at great length in order to learn God's will before choosing a director, so too should it pray fervently and at great length to discern whether it is truly God's will that he leave this director and choose another. If God's will is not absolutely clear, he should not make this change, for a person will not go far by himself, and Satan wants just this: to have the person who is aspiring for sanctity direct himself because then, without doubt, he will never attain it.


There is an exception [to this], and that is when God himself directs the person, but the director will immediately recognize that the person in question is being guided by God himself. God will allow him to know this clearly and distinctly, and such a person should be even more under the director's control than anyone else. In this case, the director does not so much guide and point out the road along which the soul is to journey; but rather, he judges and confirms that the soul is following the right path and is being led by a good spirit.

In this situation, the director should be not only holy, but also experienced and prudent, and the soul should give priority to his opinion over that of God himself, for then the soul will be safe from illusions and deviations. A soul that will not fully submit its inspirations to the strict control of the Church; that is, to the director, clearly shows by this that a bad spirit is guiding it. The director should be extremely prudent in such cases and test the soul's obedience. Satan can even clothe himself in a cloak of humility, but he does not know how to wear the cloak of obedience and thus his evil designs will be disclosed. But the director should not be overly afraid of such a soul, because if God puts that special soul in his care, He will also give him great divine light regarding it, for otherwise how could he deal wisely with the great mysteries which take place between the soul and God.


I myself suffered a great deal and was much tried in this respect. Therefore, I am writing only about what I myself have experienced. It was only after many novenas, prayers and penances that God sent me a priest who understood my soul. Oh, there would be many more saintly souls if there were more experienced and saintly confessors. Many a soul, earnestly striving for sanctity, cannot manage by itself during times of trial and abandons the road to perfection.


O Jesus, give us fervent and holy priests! Oh, how great is the dignity of the priest, but at the same time, how great is his responsibility! Much has been given you, O priest, but much will also be demanded of you....


February 11, [1937]. Today is Friday. During Mass, I suffered pain in my body: in my hands, my feet and my side. Jesus is sending me this kind of suffering that I may make reparation for sinners. The pain is brief, but very severe. I do not suffer for more than a couple of minutes, but the impression remains for a long time and is very vivid.


+ Today, I feel such desolation in my soul that I do not know how to explain it even to myself. I would like to hide from people and cry endlessly. No one understands a heart wounded by love, and when such a heart feels itself abandoned interiorly, no one can comfort it. O souls of sinners, you have taken the Lord away from me, but all right, all right; you get to know how sweet the Lord is, and let the whole sea of bitterness flood my heart. I have given all my divine comforts to you.


+ There are moments when I mistrust myself, when I feel my own weakness and wretchedness in the most profound depths of my own being, and I have noticed that I can endure such moments only by trusting in the infinite mercy of God. Patience, prayer and silence-these are what give strength to the soul. There are moments when one should be silent, and when it would be inappropriate to talk with creatures; these are the moments when one is dissatisfied with oneself, and when the soul feels as weak as a little child. Then the soul clings to God with all its might. At such times, I live solely by faith, and when I feel strengthened by God's grace, then I am more courageous in speaking and communicating with my neighbors.


In the evening, the Lord said to me, My child, rest on My Heart; I see that you have worked hard in My vineyard. And my soul was flooded with divine joy.


February 12, [1937]. Today, the presence of God is piercing me through and through, like a ray from the sun. My soul is longing for God so intensely that I fall into a swoon every now and then. I feel Eternal Love touching my heart, and my littleness cannot bear it, and this causes me to swoon. Still, my interior strength is great, and my soul wants to match the Love with which it is loved. The soul at such moments has a very deep knowledge of God, and the more it comes to know Him, the purer and more fervent does its love for Him become. How unfathomable are the mysteries of the soul and God!


Sometimes there are whole hours when my soul is lost in wonder at seeing the infinite majesty of God abasing Itself to the level of my soul. Unending is my interior astonishment that the Most High Lord is pleased in me and tells me so Himself. And I immerse myself even deeper in my nothingness, because I know what I am of myself. Still I must say that I, in return, love my Creator to folly with every beat of my heart and with every nerve; my soul unconsciously drowns, drowns... in Him. I feel that nothing will separate me from the Lord, neither heaven nor earth, neither the present nor the future. Everything may change, but love never, never; it is always the same. He, the Immortal Mighty One, makes His will known to me that I may love Him very specially, and He himself makes my soul capable of the kind of love with which He wants me to love Him. I bury myself more and more in Him, and I fear nothing.

Love has overtaken my whole heart, and even if I were to be told of God's justice and of how even the pure spirits tremble and cover their faces before Him, saying endlessly, "Holy," which would seem to suggest that my familiarity with God would be to the detriment of His honor and majesty, [I would reply,] "O no, no, and once again, no!" In pure love, there is room for everything: the highest praise and the deepest adoration, yet the soul is immersed in Him in deepest peace through love; and the words of people, speaking from the exterior, have no effect upon that soul. What they tell the soul about God is but a pale shadow in comparison to its own experience of Him; and it is often surprised how other people can be struck with admiration at what someone else says about God when, for this soul, it is nothing special, as it knows that what can be put into words is not yet that great. So this soul listens to everything with respect, but has its own special life in God.


February 13, [1937]. Today, during the Passion Service, [170] I saw Jesus being tortured and crowned with thorns and holding a reed in His hand. Jesus was silent as the soldiers were bustling about, vying with each other in torturing Him. Jesus said nothing, but just looked at me, and in that gaze I felt His pain, so terrible that we have not the faintest idea of how much He suffered for us before He was crucified. My soul was filled with pain and longing; in my soul, I felt great hatred for sin, and even the smallest infidelity on my part seemed to me like a huge mountain for which I must expiate by mortification and penance. When I see Jesus tormented, my heart is torn to pieces, and I think: what will become of sinners if they do not take advantage of the Passion of Jesus? In His Passion, I see a whole sea of mercy.

+ J.M.J. February 12, 1937

+ The Love of God is the flower - Mercy the fruit.


Let the doubting soul read these considerations on Divine Mercy and become trusting. [171]

Divine Mercy, gushing forth from the bosom of the Father, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, greatest attribute of God, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, incomprehensible mystery, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, fount gushing forth from the mystery of the Most Blessed Trinity, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, unfathomed by any intellect, human or angelic, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, from which wells forth all life and happiness, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, better than the heavens, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, source of miracles and wonders, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, encompassing the whole universe, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, descending to earth in the Person of the Incarnate Word, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, which flowed out from the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, enclosed in the Heart of Jesus for us, and especially for sinners, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, unfathomed in the institution of the Sacred Host, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, in the founding of Holy Church, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, in the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, in our justification through Jesus Christ, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, accompanying us through our whole life, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, embracing us especially at the hour of death, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, endowing us with immortal life, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, accompanying us every moment of our life, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, shielding us from the fire of hell, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, in the conversion of hardened sinners, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, astonishment for Angels, incomprehensible to Saints, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, unfathomed in all the mysteries of God, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, lifting us out of every misery, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, source of our happiness and joy, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, in calling us forth from nothingness to existence, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, embracing all the works of His hands, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, crown of all of God's handiwork, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, in which we are all immersed, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, sweet relief for anguished hearts, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, only hope of despairing souls, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, repose of hearts, peace amidst fear, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, delight and ecstasy of holy souls, I trust in You.

Divine Mercy, inspiring hope against all hope, I trust in You.


+ Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.


Diary – Divine Mercy in My Soul ( II:  951 – 1000 )

Notebook 2


+ O incomprehensible and limitless Mercy Divine, To extol and adore You worthily, who can? Supreme attribute of Almighty God, You are the sweet hope for sinful man.

Into one hymn yourselves unite, stars, earth and sea, and in one accord, thankfully and fervently sing of the incomprehensible Divine Mercy.


My Jesus, You see that Your holy will is everything to me. It makes no difference to me what You do with me. You command me to set to work-and I begin calmly, although I know that I am incapable of it; through Your representatives, You order me to waitso I wait patiently; You fill my soul with enthusiasmbut You do not make it possible for me to act; You attract me to yourself in heaven-and You leave me in this world; You pour into my soul a great yearning for yourself-and You hide yourself from me. I am dying of the desire to be united with You forever, and You do not let death come near me. O will of God, you are the nourishment and delight of my soul. When I submit to the holy will of my God, a deep peace floods my soul.

O my Jesus, You do not give a reward for the successful performance of a work, but for the good will and the labor undertaken. Therefore, I am completely at peace, even if all my undertakings and efforts should be thwarted or should come to naught. If I do all that is in my power, the rest is not my business. And therefore the greatest storms do not disturb the depths of my peace; the will of God dwells in my conscience.


+ February 15, 1937. Today my suffering increased somewhat: I not only feel greater pain all through my lungs, but also some strange pains in my intestines. I am suffering as much as my weak nature can bear, all for immortal souls, to plead the mercy of God for poor sinners and to beg for strength for priests. Oh, how much reverence I have for priests; and I am asking Jesus, the High Priest, to grant them many graces.


Today after Holy Communion, the Lord told me, My daughter, My delight is to unite myself with you. It is when you submit yourself to My will that you give Me the greatest glory and draw down upon yourself a sea of blessings. I would not take such special delight in you if you were not living by my will. O my sweet Guest, I am prepared for all sacrifices for Your sake, but You know that I am weakness itself. Nevertheless, with You I can do all things. O my Jesus, I beseech You, be with me at each instant.


February 15, 1937. Today, I heard these words in my soul: Host pleasing to My Father, know, My daughter, that the entire Holy Trinity finds Its special delight in you, because you live exclusively by the will of God. No sacrifice can compare with this.


+ After these words, the knowledge of God's will came to me; that is to say, I now see everything from a higher point of view and accept all events and things, pleasant and unpleasant, with love, as tokens of the heavenly Father's special affection.


The pure offering of my will will burn on the altar of love. That my sacrifice may be perfect, I unite myself closely with the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. When great sufferings will cause my nature to tremble, and my physical and spiritual strength will diminish, then will I hide myself deep in the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, silent as a dove, without complaint. Let all my desires, even the holiest, noblest and most beautiful, take always the last place and Your holy will, the very first. The least of Your desires, O Lord, is more precious to me than heaven, with all its treasures. I know very well that people will not understand me; that is why my sacrifice will be purer in Your eyes.


Some days ago, a certain person came to me and asked me to pray for her intention, as she had some urgent and important business. All of a sudden, I felt in my soul that this matter was not pleasing to God, and I replied that I would not pray for this intention, "but I will pray for you, in general" [I added]. A few days later, this lady came back to me and thanked me for not having prayed for her intention, but rather for her, because she had been motivated by a spirit of revenge toward a certain person to whom she owed respect and veneration in virtue of the fourth commandment. The Lord Jesus had changed her interior [dispositions], and she herself acknowledged her guilt; but was, however, surprised that I had penetrated her secret.


+ Today I received a letter from Father Sopocko, who sent me greetings for my feast day [February 15]. His greetings gave me joy, but his poor health made me sad. I had known about this by interior intuition, but had not quite believed it. But it seems to me that if he himself wrote that this was so, then the other things about which he did not write are also true, and my interior knowledge has not deceived me. He requested me to underline all that I know does not come from me; that is to say, all that Jesus tells me which I hear in my soul. [172] He has already asked me to do this several times, but I did not have the time and, to tell the truth, I was in no hurry to do so. But how does he know that I have not done this? I was very surprised; but now I am setting about this work with all my heart. O my Jesus, Your representative's will is clearly Your holy will, without a shadow of a doubt.


February 16, 1937. Today I entered a neighboring room by mistake and so, for a while, I talked with the person who was there. When I returned to my own room, I thought about that person for a few moments. Then suddenly, Jesus stood by my side and said, My daughter, what are you thinking about right now? Without thinking, I snuggled close to His heart, because I realized that I had been thinking too much about creatures.


+ This morning after completing my spiritual exercises, I began at once to crochet. I sensed a stillness in my heart; I sensed that Jesus was resting in it. That deep and sweet consciousness of God's presence prompted me to say to the Lord, "O Most Holy Trinity dwelling in my heart, I beg You: grant the grace of conversion to as many souls as the [number of] stitches that I will make today with this crochet hook." Then I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, too great are your demands. "Jesus, You know that for You it is easier to grant much rather than a little." That is so, it is less difficult for Me to grant a soul much rather than a little, but every conversion of a sinful soul demands sacrifice. "Well, Jesus, I offer You this whole-hearted work of mine; this offering does not seem to me to be too small for such a large number of souls; You know, Jesus, that for thirty years You were saving souls by just this kind of work. And since holy obedience forbids me to perform great penances and mortifications, therefore I ask You, Lord: accept these mere nothings stamped with the seal of obedience as great things." Then I heard a voice in my soul: My dear daughter, I comply with your request.


+ I often see a certain person dear to God. The Lord has great love for him, not only because he is striving to spread the veneration of God's mercy, but also because of the love he has for the Lord God, although he does not always feel this love in his own heart and is almost always in Gethsemane. However, this person is always pleasing to God, and his great patience will overcome all difficulties.


+ Oh, if only the suffering soul knew how it is loved by God, it would die of joy and excess of happiness! Some day, we will know the value of suffering, but then we will no longer be able to suffer. The present moment is ours.


February 17, 1937. This morning during Holy Mass, I saw the Suffering Jesus, His Passion was imprinted on my body in an invisible manner, but no less painfully.


Jesus looked at me and said, Souls perish in spite of My bitter Passion. I am giving them the last hope of salvation; that is, the Feast of My Mercy. If they will not adore My mercy, they will perish for all eternity. Secretary of My mercy, write, tell souls about this great mercy of Mine, because the awful day, the day of My justice, is near.


+ Today, I heard in my soul these words: My daughter, it is time for you to take action; I am with you. Great persecutions and sufferings are in store for you, but be comforted by the thought that many souls will be saved and sanctified by this work.


+ When I set to work at underlining the Lord's words and thus was going through everything in sequence, I reached the page where I had marked down Father Andrasz's advice and directions. I did not know what to do, to underline or not to underline, and then I heard these words in my soul: Underline, because these words are Mine; I have borrowed the lips of the friend of My Heart in order to speak to you and reassure you. You are to observe these directions until your death. It would not please Me at all if you were to disobey these directions. Know that it is I who have placed him between Myself and your soul. I am doing this to set you at peace and so that you may not err.


Since I have placed you in this priest's special care, you are thus exempted from giving a detailed account to your superiors concerning My relationship with you. In all other matters, be as a child with your superiors, but whatever I do in the depths of your soul is to be told, with all frankness, only to the priests.

And I have noticed that, from the time God gave me a spiritual director, He has not required me to report everything to the superiors, as was the case before, but only that which concerns external matters; apart from this, only the director knows my soul. To have a spiritual director is a special grace of God. Oh, how few have received it! The soul remains in constant peace amidst the greatest difficulties. Every day after Holy Communion, I thank the Lord Jesus for this grace, and every day I ask the Holy Spirit to enlighten him. I have truly experienced in my soul what power the director's words have. Blessed be God's mercy for this grace!


+Today, I went to meditate before the Blessed Sacrament [in the sanatorium chapel]. When I approached the altar, God's presence pervaded my soul, I was plunged into the ocean of His divinity, and Jesus said to me, My daughter, all that exists is yours. I answered the Lord, "My heart wants nothing but You alone, O Treasure of my heart. For all the gifts You give me, thank you, O Lord, but I desire only Your Heart. Though the heavens are immense, they are nothing to me without You. You know very well, O Jesus, that I am constantly swooning because of my longing for You." Know this, My daughter, that you are already tasting now what other souls will obtain only in eternity.


And all of a sudden, my soul was flooded with the light of the knowledge of God. Oh, would that I could express even a little of what my soul experiences when resting near the Heart of the incomprehensible Majesty! I cannot put it into words. Only a soul who has experienced such a grace at least once in his life, will recognize it. When I returned to my room, it seemed to me that I was coming from real life to death. When the doctor came to take my pulse, he was surprised: "Sister, what happened? You have never had a pulse like this! I would like to know what has speeded it up so much." What could I tell him, when I myself did not know that my pulse was so rapid. I only know that I am dying of yearning for God, but this I did not tell him, for how can medicine help in this instance?


February 19, 1937. Contact with the dying. They ask me for prayer, and I can pray, as the Lord grants me an extraordinary spirit of prayer. I am constantly united with Him, and I am fully aware that I live for souls in order to bring them to Your mercy, 0 Lord. In this matter, no sacrifice is too insignificant.


Today, the doctor decided that I am to stay here until April. It is God's will, even though I did want to be back in the company of my sisters.


I learned today about the death of one of our sisters [173] who died in Plock, but she visited me even before they told me about her death.


February 22, 1937. Today, there began in our chapel a retreat for the hospital attendants, although anyone who wishes may take part in it. There is one conference a day. Father Bonaventure [174] speaks for a whole hour, and he speaks directly to souls. I took part in this retreat, as I very much desire to know God more deeply and to love Him more ardently, for I have understood that the greater the knowledge, the stronger the love.


Today I heard these words: Pray for souls that they be not afraid to approach the tribunal of My mercy. Do not grow weary of praying for sinners. You know what a burden their souls are to My Heart. Relieve My deathly sorrow; dispense My mercy.


February 24, 1937. Today during Holy Mass, I saw the dying Jesus. The sufferings of the Lord pierced my soul and body in an invisible manner. The pain is enormous, though it lasts a very short time.


During the singing of the Lenten Lamentations, I am so taken up with His Passion that I cannot withhold my tears. I would like to hide somewhere in order to give myself freely to the sorrow which flows from the consideration of His Passion.


When I was praying for the intention of Father Andrasz, I learned how very pleasing he is to God. Since then, I have had even greater respect for him, as for a saint. This has given me great joy, and I thank God fervently for it.


Today at Benediction, I saw Jesus, and He spoke these words to me: Be obedient to your director in everything; his word is My will. Be certain in the depths of your soul that it is I who am speaking through his lips, and I desire that you reveal the state of your soul to him with the same simplicity and candor as you have with Me. I say it again, My daughter: know that his word is My will for you.


Today, I saw the Lord in great beauty, and He said to me, My loving host, pray for priests, especially during this time of harvest. My Heart is pleased with you, and for your sake I am blessing the earth.


I understood that these two years of interior suffering which I have undergone in submission to God's will in order to know it better have advanced me further in perfection than the previous ten years. For two years now, I have been on the cross between heaven and earth. That is to say, I am bound by the vow of obedience and must obey the superior as God himself. And on the other hand, God makes His will known to me directly, and so my inner torture is so great that no one will either understand or imagine these spiritual sufferings. It seems to me that it would be easier to give up my life than to go again and again through one hour of such pain. I am not even going to write much about this matter, because one cannot describe what it is like to know God's will directly and at the same time to be perfectly obedient to the divine will as expressed indirectly through the superiors. Thanks be to God that He has given me a director; otherwise, I would not have advanced one single step.


+ I recently received a lovely letter from my dear seventeen-year-old sister [Wanda [175]]. She is begging and entreating me to help her enter the convent. She is ready for any sacrifices for God. I can tell from her letter that the Lord himself is guiding her, and I rejoice in God's great mercy.


+ Today, the Majesty of God enveloped and transpierced my soul to its very depths. The greatness of God is pervading my being and flooding me so that I am completely drowning in His greatness. I am dissolving and disappearing entirely in Him as in my life-source, as in perfect life.


My Jesus, I understand well that my perfection consists not in the fact that You command me to carry out these great works of Yours-Oh no!-the soul's greatness does not consist in this, but in great love for You. O Jesus, in the depths of my soul I understand that the greatest achievements cannot compare with one act of pure love for You. I desire to be faithful to You and to do Your bidding. I am making use of my strength and my reason to carry out all You are asking of me, O Lord, but I have not the least shadow of attachment to all this. I do it all because such is Your will. All my love is drowned, not in Your works, but in You yourself, O my Creator and Lord!


February 25, 1937. I prayed earnestly for a happy death on behalf of a certain soul who was suffering much. For two weeks, she had remained between life and death. I was touched with pity for her and said to the Lord, "Sweet Jesus, if the works I am undertaking for Your glory are pleasing to You, then please take her to Yourself and let her rest in Your mercy." I was strangely reassured; and, after a short while, they came to tell me that the person who had been suffering so much had just died.


I saw a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko] in need and prayed for him until Jesus looked upon him with kindness and granted him His strength.


Today, I came to know that a member of my family is offending God and is in great peril of death. This knowledge pierced my soul with such great pain that I thought I would not survive that offense against God. I begged God's pardon, but I saw His great anger.


I was praying for a certain priest [probably Father Sopocko], asking God to help him in certain matters when I suddenly saw Jesus Crucified. His eyes were closed, and He was immersed in torture. I worshiped His five wounds, each one separately, and asked His blessing for him. Jesus gave me to know interiorly how dear that soul was to Him, and I felt that grace was flowing from Jesus' wounds upon that soul who, like Jesus, is also stretched upon the cross.


My Lord and my God, You know that it is You alone whom my soul has come to love. My soul is entirely drowned in You, O Lord. Even if I did not accomplish any of the things that You have made known to me, O Lord, I would be completely at peace because I would have done what I could.


I know well, O Lord, that You have no need of our works; You demand love. Love, love and once again, love of God-there is nothing greater in heaven or on earth. The greatest greatness is to love God; true greatness is in loving God; real wisdom is to love God. All that is great and beautiful is in God; there is no beauty or greatness outside of Him. O you sages of the world and you great minds, recognize that true greatness is in loving God! Oh, how astonished I am that some people deceive themselves, saying: There is no eternity!


February 26, 1937. Today, I saw how the Holy Mysteries were being celebrated without liturgical vestments and in private homes, because of a passing storm; and I saw the sun come out from the Blessed Sacrament, and all other lights went out, or rather, they were dimmed; and all the people were looking toward this [one] light. But at the present time I do not understand the meaning of this vision. [176]


+ I am going forward through life amidst rainbows and storms, but with my head held high with pride, for I am a royal child. I feel that the blood of Jesus is circulating in my veins, and I have put my trust in the great mercy of the Lord.


+ I asked the Lord to have a certain person come to visit me today so that I could see her one more time, and that would be a sign for me that she was being called to the convent which Jesus is having me establish. And, O wonder, the person in question came, and I tried to form her a bit, spiritually. I began to show her the way of self-denial and sacrifice, which she readily accepted. However, I have placed this whole matter in the hands of the Lord, that He may direct everything according to His good pleasure.


Today, when I heard the hymn, "Good night, Holy Head of My Jesus," on the radio, my spirit was suddenly drowned in God, and divine love flooded my soul; I dwelt for a moment with the heavenly Father.


+ Although it is not easy to live in constant agony,
To be nailed to the cross of various pains,
Still, I am inflamed with love by loving,
And like a Seraph I love God, though I am but weakness.

Oh, great is the soul that, midst suffering,
Stands faithfully by God and does His will
And remains uncomforted midst great rainbows and storms,
For God's pure love sweetens her fate.

It is no great thing to love God in prosperity
And thank Him when all goes well,
But rather to adore Him midst great adversities
And love Him for His own sake and place one's hope in Him.

When the soul is in the shadows of Gethsemane,
All alone in the bitterness of pain,
It ascends toward the heights of Jesus,
And though ever drinking bitterness-it is not sad.

When the soul does the will of the Most High God,
Even amidst constant pain and torments,
Having pressed its lips to the chalice proferred,
It becomes mighty, and nothing will daunt it.

Though tortured, it repeats: Your will be done,
Patiently awaiting the moment of its transfiguration,
For, though in deepest darkness, it hears the voice of Jesus: You are Mine,
And this it will know fully when the veil falls.


February 28, 1937. Today, I was undergoing the Passion of Jesus for a longer time, and thus I saw that many souls were in need of prayer. I feel that I am being completely transformed into prayer in order to beg God's mercy for every soul. O my Jesus, I am receiving You into my heart as a pledge of mercy for souls.


This evening, when I heard the hymn, "Good night, Holy Head of my Jesus," on the radio, my spirit was suddenly swept away to God's mysterious bosom, and I knew in what the greatness of a soul consists and what matters to God: love, love, and once again, love. And 1 understood how all that exists is saturated with God, and such a love of God inundated my soul that I am at a loss to describe it. Happy the soul that knows how to love unreservedly, for in this lies its greatness.


Today, I took part in a one-day retreat. When I was at the last conference, [177] the priest was speaking of how much the world needs God's mercy, and that this seems to be a special time when people have great need of prayer and God's mercy. Then I heard a voice in my soul: These words are for you. Do all you possibly can for this work of My mercy. I desire that My mercy be worshiped, and I am giving mankind the last hope of salvation; that is, recourse to My mercy. My Heart rejoices in this feast. After these words, I understood that nothing can dispense me from the obligation which the Lord demands from me.


Last night I was in such pain that I thought it was the end. The doctors could not diagnose what the sickness was. I felt as if my entrails had been torn to shreds, but after a few hours of such sufferings I am all right. All this is for sinners. Let Your mercy descend upon them, O Lord.


In the terrible desert of life,
O my sweetest Jesus,
Protect souls from disaster,
For You are the Fountain of Mercy.

Let the resplendence of Your rays,
O sweet Commander of our souls,
Let mercy change the world.
And you who have received this grace, serve Jesus.

Steep is the great highway I must travel,
But I fear nothing,
For the pure fount of mercy is flowing for my sake,
And, with it, strength for the humble soul.

I am exhausted and worn out,
But my conscience bears me witness
That I do all for the greater glory of the Lord,
The Lord who is my repose and my heritage.

[End of Notebook Two of the Diary.]


Notebook I          1-50 †  51-100  †  101-150  †  151-200  †  201-250  †  251-300 † 301-350  †  351-400  †  401-450  †  451-500  †  501-521 †  

Notebook II         522-600 †  601-650  †  651-700  †  701-750  †  751-800  †  801-850 †  851-900  †  901-950  †  951-1000  †  

Notebook III      1001-1050 †  1051-1100  †  1101-1150  †  1151-1200  †  1201-1230  †  

Notebook IV       1231-1321 †  

Notebook V        1322-1400 †  1401-1450  †  1451-1500  †  1501-1550  †  1551-1589  †  

Notebook VI      1590-1650 †  1651-1700  †  1701-1750  †  1751-1803  †  

Preparation for Holy Communion                1804-1828 †  



Diary, St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy In My Soul
(c) Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate Conception, Stockbridge, MA 01263.

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