AYA KITOU

Aya Kitou

Chapter 3 part 1

16 years old- The beginning of agony

My life in the hospital

My new life, first time away from home is starting.
I'm in a room with a lady who seems to be around 50 yrs old. My mom said, "Pleased to meet you," so I bowed my head with her. She looked like a quiet lady with lonely eyes. I was nervous not knowing what kind of life was ahead of me.

In the afternoon, I went on a walk with the lady. We sat on the bench under the cherry blossom tree. The sunlight looked like it was dancing between the leaves. Since I'm really near-sighted, I couldn't see clearly but I sensed "beauty" within the green and the light. Then, I sensed "oddness" in the leaves that were being blown, casually by the wind.
I've gotten used to the life in the hospital, but lights out at 9 and dinner at 4:30 is a little too early.

The pace has changed, and a day seems to run past me.

I have to go through lots of tests like the electromyogram (owww this hurts!!), electrocardiogram, xrays, and hearing tests.
I am taken from one place to the next in this big hospital, which is easy to get lost. I just can't stand the dark hallways. It even makes my mood dark.

My doctor, Yamamoto Hiroko sensei (now a professor at the Fujita Hokeneisei Daigaku in the Shinkeinaika) said that finally, I'm gonna get the shot that's gonna make me better. To see the before and after of the effects of the shot, we recorded my walking, walking up the stairs, buttoning, into a 16mm camera.

I wonder what I'm going to be when I grow up, or actually what can I be?

The 3 requirements that I have to meet:
1. Something that does not involve my body.
2. Something that I can do using my brain.
3. Something that gives me a decent pay.

This is hard. I wonder if there is such a job that meets all these requirements.

Some number of young doctors play around with me. Stand on your tiptoes! Close your eyes! Can you do this? Then something about my pelvis... After all that, they ask me "Was it fun?" I can't deal with this. I wanted to yell, I'm not a guinea pig, so stop it!

Sunday, the day I've been looking forward to is finally here. My mom and my two sisters came. We all went to the roof to do the laundry. The blue sky was really pretty. The clouds were white and pretty as well. The wind was a little warm, but it still felt good. It felt like I became a human again. They took some spinal liquid. My head hurts. It hurts terribly. Is it because of the shot?

Michan's family (my mom's younger brother's family) came. My grandpa's eyes were red. I was going to tell him, but I couldn't and so I was staring...then my grandpa said, "Do I look weird? I got a tan from working and I stayed up late last night."
It was so black that I felt bad. His eyes were like a rabbit. It looked like he was crying.

"Aya do your best. I'll bring you some good food next time. What do you want?"
"I want a book. Sagan's 'Hello sadness' I've been wanting to read this."

I went to the Physiotherapy room underground.
I'm going to take a test from PT. Kawabashi and Imaeda (PT=physiotherapist).

At that moment I said something stupid. I can't believe I told them that I like Japanese and English and that I have lots of confidence in these subjects, and how my grades were in the top of the class. This should be the last time I boast about my grades...it makes me look more miserable and will make me want to rob a bank or something. In any case, you can't really determine how smart you are by the grades on a report card.

PT. Kawabashi said he was a troublemaker when he was a student.
Actually, I think that's better...it's much more healthy.
I'm still so young and look at my body...
I felt so miserable that my tears started to fall.
I shouldn't say anything anymore. After writing what I wanted to write, I felt a lot better.

The reason why I study so hard is because this is the only thing I'm good at. If you take studying away from me, all that's left is this useless body. I don't want to feel this way.
It's sad, and harsh, but this is reality.
I don't care if I'm stupid, I just want a healthy body.

Chapter 3 is finally here (^^)// sorry to keep you all waiting!! Some sidenotes: Shinkeinaika is like the department specializing in the nerves. I dunno if I mentioned this already, but sensei means teacher/doctor (in this case it's used as doctor). The last thing is, the book that Aya said she wanted to read is actually called "Kanashimiyo Konnichiwa" if anyone wanted to kno (^^;)... but I just translated it, to Hello Sadness in the entry.

-Kiwi

1 LITRE OF TEARS

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